DP’s family have uninvited my DLabrador from Christmas

[Hols25]

Feeling a bit pissed off. First Christmas with DP and he invited me to his parents house. They live a few hours away so I haven’t been there before, but have met them once for a meal where we live.

DP knows I have sole custody of my DL following breaking up with my ex last year, and he hates going into kennels. When he asked me about Christmas, I checked about whether DL could join and he said yes.

Fast forward to today and he’s told me his parents aren’t able to accommodate DL. They aren’t really dog people and are worried about their cream carpets.

It turns out he hadn’t actually checked with them before and only spoke to them last night.

This means I can’t go and won’t be spending Christmas with DP or the days either side as he’s travelling the morning before.

He says its just one of those things.

AIBU to feel upset with him?

@Soggyspaniel the OP said she asked her DP if the dog could go, so she did ask. He wrongly said it could, which obviously he shouldn’t have done and he’s an idiot for doing so, the fault there is clearly on him. But in her update the OP said

Finding somewhere near where I could stay would still have the same issues. DL alone whilst we are having dinner etc. just unfair on him and cruel, he’d still be alone in an unfamiliar place.

Which obviously implies she thought they were unreasonable for saying she couldn’t take the dog as she wouldn’t want the dog left alone whilst she ate dinner, and given she said she has no one else to have the dog she obviously expected to be able to take it.

Travelodge forbids leaving dogs. I've checked their terms- prompted by this thread and because my friend - sorry Dfriend - is in a similar position at New Year.

It isn't horrible or awful to not want a random dog in your house.

Sorry OP I’d say no too and I’m a dog owner - not everyone wants a strange dog in their house, especially a big one, in winter with cream carpets.

I would say that you have a right to feel upset that your boyfriend told you that he talked to his parents and they said yes you could bring the dog, and it turns out he never asked them... That's who I would be upset with.

The parents who have never met you before, have cream carpets, are not dog people, and never met your dog before, you really can't blame them for not accepting a strange dog into their home. I would. Maybe you would too, but not everybody is a dog person. It's too bad but it's not unreasonable.

Your dog doesn't like kennels or you don't like to put them in a kennel, either way, okay. That solves that. And if you don't have a really dear close friend who you totally trust who you can either have stay in your home to watch your dog, or the dog can go to their house for the day, then I'm afraid you're stuck.

Welcome to being the sole parent of a dog especially a large breed dog. I hear you.
I'm right there with you. And I very carefully plan my social engagements so that any parties are just for a couple of hours, nothing is overnight, and if I can, I try to arrange it so that my dog can come with me. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't, you don't want to put other people out or make them feel uncomfortable, and you don't want your pet to be uncomfortable. So that means a lot of times, you just don't go.

Honestly, I'd rather spend Christmas with my dog than a boyfriend's parents who don't know. Honestly. I may be sitting myself up for a lonely life but, give me animals any day.

According to this thread no one should be putting a dog in kennels… so how come they’re all full? Ah yes… because it’s a totally reasonable thing to do.

Do you think every dog owner in the UK is a member of Mumsnet and posting on this thread?

Over 13 million of them? 🙄

I don’t think the DP had asked his parents if the dog could go to their house for Christmas. It’s his fault, not the parents for saying no.

Can you get a dog / house sitter? There are sooo many people on the Facebook site I’m on wanting a house / pet sit over Christmas. I’d bloody love to escape my lot and spend it with my baby and a Labrador!

I suspect option 1 unfortunately. Surely he would offer to stay with you if he really had forgotten to ask. Your DP would seems happy to leave you on your own at Christmas.

People are MASSIVELY missing the point here - his lie has left you without a plan for Christmas and we’re only a few weeks away. I’d be fuming.

In that case, OP's own thread title misses the point.

Has anyone asked the dog what he wants to do? Maybe he would prefer the world to stop revolving whilst he licks his nuts.

Its a dog, get over it and put it in a kennel.
Your dog is not everyone elses priority.

lol, OP has done a great job of winding posters up with DLabrador. 😂

Doubt that would be allowed. Every dog friendly holiday home we have stayed in has a clause in the T&C's saying don't leave dog there unattended.

Only a Labrador could arrive at a Christmas party empty handed, speak to no one and still be the most popular guest!

is also be annoyed as he’s stopped you making alternative plans
he should stay with you now

Lied is a bit strong. Sounds like he assumed all would be OK and then his parents have poo pooed it.

Obviously YANBU for being pissed off with him for not checking (especially as you raised it). It's very late in the day to get a dog sitter now (if not near impossible). He's an idiot.

Spain passed an historic law this year recognising pets as family members. Under the new legislation, pets will receive greater legal protection, especially in cases involving divorce, inheritance, or disputes over their wellbeing. A judge/magistrate can award sole or joint custody depending on the welfare of the pet.

https://ifeg.info/2025/12/05/a-new-era-for-animal-rights-spains-landmark-law-recognizes-pets-as-family/?fbclid=IwY2xjawOgZ_9leHRuA2FlbQIxMABicmlkETFPdnVpSmowb3VWWnFIdUdTc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQQMjIyMDM5MTc4ODIwMDg5MgABHjUkl9aSDATm2Hp3gnMzB-OYe-_9i3jW7lpSKj8xtdNOU5jmWxr8I8-56sLO_aem_9Rh2aCHa2uczwxz4sqdiIg

OP's partner let her down.
Without more info about him it's impossible to determine if the relationship is doomed, or not. However, if someone did that to me I'd assume I was low on the priority list and act accordingly. Mistake, or not, the partner has shown his loyalty is to himself and his family.

You are obviously not a dog lover. Dogs hate being in kennels, and love being near to their humans at all times. Not all dogs will show that they pine if away from their family for a few hours, but many do. To put a dog into kennels for even one night is horrible, but to do so at Christmas (and yes I know that a dog can't put a name to the celebration, but they still really enjoy receiving their own presents, and their favourite dinner, and their humans hopefully being in a really good mood) is both cruel and unthinkable in my mind.

Children and dogs make Christmas the magical celebration it should be, and if @Hols25 is anything like me, she would be devastated to leave her dog behind, and wouldn't enjoy Christmas anyway!

Unfortunately OP - if you are reading this - I don't think this man is the right one for you, if he really loved you he would have apologised to his parents, and told them that, in that case, he couldn't come for Christmas either as you had both been looking forward to sharing your first Christmas together. Also, if your relationship was to last, it would mean that you could never stay at his parents house while your DDog is still here on Earth.

The fact that his parents put 'not having some dog hairs on their cream carpet' have they not heard of vacuum cleaners above meeting you, and welcoming you to their home over Christmas, would also tell me all I needed to know about them. I'm sorry OP, as this must be very disappointing for you, when I am sure that you will have been really looking forward to Christmas, and possibly your bf being "the one". I hope you have a lovely Christmas anyway, even if you and your DDog have to spend it just pleasing yourselves! 🎄🐕💇‍♀️💝

What a nasty comment!

Labradors don't smell, unless they're not washed after rolling in some fox poo etc. They are also not a particularly drooly breed unless they have a tooth or gum infection - a Labrador isn't Beethoven!

Are you another person who doesn't own a vacuum cleaner ItsStillWork? You do sound like you may have a DDog yourself, but if so, is it a tiny yapping and nipping Chihuahua? 🙈