DP’s family have uninvited my DLabrador from Christmas

[Hols25]

Feeling a bit pissed off. First Christmas with DP and he invited me to his parents house. They live a few hours away so I haven’t been there before, but have met them once for a meal where we live.

DP knows I have sole custody of my DL following breaking up with my ex last year, and he hates going into kennels. When he asked me about Christmas, I checked about whether DL could join and he said yes.

Fast forward to today and he’s told me his parents aren’t able to accommodate DL. They aren’t really dog people and are worried about their cream carpets.

It turns out he hadn’t actually checked with them before and only spoke to them last night.

This means I can’t go and won’t be spending Christmas with DP or the days either side as he’s travelling the morning before.

He says its just one of those things.

AIBU to feel upset with him?

Agreed. But there's great alliteration in DMIL's DMiniature Poodle all the same.

This.
It's only for a couple of days.
If you don't feel able to do that, spend Christmas with your dog at home, no biggie.
Also, your partner has made a mistake re saying he asked but let that go, we've all made mistakes

I'm waiting for DDil's DDaschund!

You're right - I should have said dog lovers, to be fair! I had two cats (as well as my dog) myself previously, and wouldn't have other dogs over, as it would just stress them out too much. And yeah actually you make a good point there too - any dogs visiting my place have to be able to get on with my dog. And I don't take my dog to my mom's, for instance, because her dog is too nervous of him. And so on. So yep totally valid points.

I think it just gets my back up when people put their carpets above their son's partner visiting for Christmas. 😂

Ikr. It's going to make it very hard on us cat owners when people think DC is darling child.

Invite them all to you instead

I would be more worried about your partner lying to you - that’s a red flag surely. Why can’t you get a dog sitter?

Youre just going to have to suck it up. Such is the life of a dog owner.

Is your partner still going to go ?

You say you’re not blaming the parents but look at the title you wrote?!

Has anyone actually thought that maybe the dog is just an excuse and maybe his parents don’t want someone they have only met once joining their family for Xmas ?

My parents adore my (non shedding) golden doodle. At our house. She’s never been in their house and I wouldn’t expect them to allow it as they don’t have a “dog” house. They keep their house extremely tidy. No one owes you to allow the dog in. Your partner should have checked before assuming anything.

My DCat is my DC so no confusion here.

Shedding - yes
Drooling - sometimes
Smelly - not at all. I’ve never met a smelly one. Mine can go weeks before she gets whiffy.

Please stop saying DL

I wondered this - mostly because although my dc aren't old enough for boyfriends/girlfriends yet, I'm not sure I'd be massively keen on them coming for Christmas Day so early in the relationship.

The problem is your dp. He lied. I think he should stay home with you

I wouldn’t have a dog in my home even if it was shaved bald. Don’t like the creatures. I wouldn’t wish harm on them but I don’t want one anywhere near me.

It’s their choice OP. Put the dog in a kennel or just deal with the fact that some people don’t want to be around your dog.

Dog people always say this. All dogs stink. Even when they’re clean they smell of dog and it’s repulsive to a lot of people.

Have you tried paid dog sitters or trustedhousesitters.com?

Some dogs are very badly affected by kennels/boarding/being in strange company, and you did ask, so assumed he was allowed, so while he's not exactly disinvited, I understand why you're upset. Could you take a crate for him, if he's crate trained? Or keep him on a lead? Unlikely to be warm enough for him to be ok outside/in a car. It is obviously their choice, though. Just as some people won't let their grandchildren come round because they've had new carpets... These carpets were pale grey, not cream, but they wouldn't let their adult child and grandchild round because the NEIGHBOUR had been round with their child, and let her run around and make a mess.

The partner is the issue here and I’d be questioning the relationship. If you’d known sooner you may have been able to make a plan but he’s lied and seems to not care about leaving you home alone. He’s shown who he is.

I'd be cheesed off that he'd lied too but your lab comes first. I wouldn't want a relationship with someone who comes from a family who prioritises their precious carpets over a dog. That says all you need to know, dump him and run while counting your blessings.

you are joking, surely?!! 🤨

As you've said, it's their choice. It should be respected and not ''but he's crate trained'', ''but I'll keep him on a lead'' etc no means no.

It's be difficult to find soneone to let your, DL out and feed him, but do try this.

Alternatively can you stay in a hotel near his parents that permits dogs - travelodge permit dogs if you're looking for reasonable but not too pricey accomodation. Your, DL could stay in the room whilst you pop out if he will settle and not bark.

I would be Pd off with my DP if they did this.

Dogs are family.