DP’s family have uninvited my DLabrador from Christmas

[Hols25]

Feeling a bit pissed off. First Christmas with DP and he invited me to his parents house. They live a few hours away so I haven’t been there before, but have met them once for a meal where we live.

DP knows I have sole custody of my DL following breaking up with my ex last year, and he hates going into kennels. When he asked me about Christmas, I checked about whether DL could join and he said yes.

Fast forward to today and he’s told me his parents aren’t able to accommodate DL. They aren’t really dog people and are worried about their cream carpets.

It turns out he hadn’t actually checked with them before and only spoke to them last night.

This means I can’t go and won’t be spending Christmas with DP or the days either side as he’s travelling the morning before.

He says its just one of those things.

AIBU to feel upset with him?

can you not take him and have him sleep in the car? We did this with DDog for 3 nights when a supposedly dog=friendly hotel turned out not to be... yes a bit of a pfaff settling him, and ensuring warm enough, etc ... but lovely long walks and he was very content

I get the non-dog people don’t get this but dogs are family. You decide you want them and bring them into your lives, so you owe it to them and their very short lives to not just cast them aside when it’s inconvenient.

I can't believe some of these responses.

I wouldn't want to spend Christmas without my dog, and he's reactive/anxious so I'd never put him in kennels. A boarder/sitter, maybe - but why would I want to be without my dog at Christmas?!

I don't know, OP. It's fine that his parents don't want a dog in their house - it's their house, etc. But I guess I just prefer to be around animal lovers, and I don't really love people who don't want dogs on their cream carpets or whatever, and would rather you shove them in a kennel on Christmas Day. That's just me.

I would just spend the day with my dog and meet them another time. Like, can you meet up before Christmas for a nice meal somewhere halfway?

The dog isn’t invited.

In fairness, some of them seem to take quite a while doing it if it's only twice a year.

I do like dogs but I'm not about to pretend they don't impact their immediate environment, especially soft furnishings.

I think a lot of owners get accustomed to their own dog's particular smell. It is the same with smoke.

Interestingly, I know a few people who are allergic to cats but not the cats they grew up with.

I’m an animal lover who wouldn’t want a dog in my house because I have a cat.

Also totally irresponsible to have a dog alone overnight in a car in winter.

Nah, I'd stay home and have a great Christmas with my dog. He might be OK in kennels but hasn't done anything to deserve that. Plus, at this stage you'd be hard pressed to find him a place in a really good one. I love dogs, my home is pet friendly. I'm more likely to ban people than animals.

My Labrador didn’t smell unless he’d been working (and he was bathed as soon as he got home) nor did he shed all of the time. If he was going visiting he was always clean and well brushed before we went too (just like the rest of us!)

A friend of mine had a DIrish Wolfshound that did not get on with her DMIL DKing Charles Cavalier

DKing Charles Cavalier eventually passed away which was thought to be a good thing as friend could take DIrish Wolfhound to DMIL, but then DMIL got a Dminature Poodle and it all kicked off again

Not all the time they don’t

Oh I know. Doesn’t bother me, they’re soppy and endearing but they are quite stinky. Think the family is just nose blind now.

I think nose blindness is definitely real!

That's totally fair enough! I didn't want other dogs in my house when I had cats, either, as that would stress them out.

I'd understand if that was the reason in OP's partner's family's case. But carpets, I just don't get. I'm just not that fussy about carpets I guess.

Our cats, on the other hand, smell of roses 🤣

Kennels absolutely can do harm, horrible places. I would never put my dog in one. An option might have been to find a dog sitter that would have the dog in their own home. But there’s no chance of that now this close to Christmas. Hopefully the OP has somewhere else she can go for Christmas.

That’s very mean of them - surely they can accommodate a dog bring him a blanket and bed to lounge so as not to spoil their precious cream carpets !! - Christmas is about family and your dog is part of your family! - end of

Sometimes cats smell of kitty litter ...😻

It sounds like they just don't like dogs. I imagine the cream carpets is just a polite way of saying ''I dislike dogs and really don't want yours in my house''.

Lots of DDoggy Ddrama there

Other animal lovers are likely to have pets of their own. Your dog may not be welcomed by them incase it upsets the animals they love. My dog hated other dogs coming into the house, even if they were dogs he got on with in the street or, ironically, in their homes. So whilst he was alive no other dogs were allowed in. Now we have tortoises and dogs can only visit Dec-Feb whilst they hibernate, beyond that I won't risk it.

Surely it's their house, end of?

Yes, much as I quite like dogs and don't think they should be dumped in kennels without concern about potential distress, I'm nonetheless not sure about extending the D status to them.

We absolutely do get this. We are pointing out that other people aren’t obliged to offer your dog house room.

Yup, I agree!