Page 18 | DP’s family have uninvited my DLabrador from Christmas

Hols25 · 2025-12-05T18:15:39+00:00

Feeling a bit pissed off. First Christmas with DP and he invited me to his parents house. They live a few hours away so I haven’t been there before, but have met them once for a meal where we live. DP knows I have sole custody of my DL following breaking up with my ex last year, and he hates going into kennels. When he asked me about Christmas, I checked about whether DL could join and he said yes. Fast forward to today and he’s told me his parents aren’t able to accommodate DL. They aren’t really dog people and are worried about their cream carpets. It turns out he hadn’t actually checked with them before and only spoke to them last night. This means I can’t go and won’t be spending Christmas with DP or the days either side as he’s travelling the morning before. He says its just one of those things. AIBU to feel upset with him?

HisNibs · 05/12/2025 22:00

So DP cocks up and doesn't ask his parents in the first place and lies saying DLab can come? Then has to backtrack when they say no and keeps up with his plan of going leaving OP alone. What a catch he is. Not really a keeper is he?

HollyIvy89 · 05/12/2025 22:01

My brother got a dog. My parents said no dog in their garden let alone house. It’s up to them. But then it’s up to the partner to decide what they prioritise of the day. Your partner could say ok we shall have Xmas just you and I and DL if he wanted to. That’s an option… don’t be annoyed at them. You are invited still. Just not dog. I’ve just got a kitten and I am not expecting to take it to Xmas day.

Tootiredforthis23 · 05/12/2025 22:04

Strikeback · 05/12/2025 21:25

I haven't RTFT but all the people casually suggesting that your dog goes into kennels/spends several hours alone at a Travelodge....no way would we do that to our dog. Would you leave a child in an unknown place alone? I'm sure if his parents are reasonable they will understand and respect your responsibilities.

Edited

People really need to stop comparing children to a dog. It is not the same thing at all. It would be illegal to leave a child alone in an air b&b but it isn’t illegal to leave a dog.

(And your post is ridiculous anyway because people leave their children in nurseries or with childminders which are unknown places at first!)

Calliopespa · 05/12/2025 22:06

Fends · 05/12/2025 21:43

Mate, your Labrador does smell. And they’re big greasy dogs, I let a family member bring his for Christmas twice and honestly, it was grim. I’ve put a stop to it.

It isn’t “cruel” to leave a dog at home or in an air b&b for a few hours, you know it doesn’t know what Christmas is? Cause it’s a dog 😅

I agree a few hours at home would be fine, but isn't this a three day trip?

You can't leave a dog home alone for that long.

Viviennemary · 05/12/2025 22:06

I wouldn't have a dog in my house either. You need to accept that a lot of folk dont like dogs. But if you dont want to go then don't. But seems a shame. I agree the dog wasn't invited. It was wrong to put them in this embarrassing position by assuming it was ok.

Calliopespa · 05/12/2025 22:07

Tootiredforthis23 · 05/12/2025 22:04

People really need to stop comparing children to a dog. It is not the same thing at all. It would be illegal to leave a child alone in an air b&b but it isn’t illegal to leave a dog.

(And your post is ridiculous anyway because people leave their children in nurseries or with childminders which are unknown places at first!)

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I think a lot of hotels have rules about dogs being left unaccompanied.

She would be better to leave him at home and drive there and back in the same day.

Itwasallyellow2 · 05/12/2025 22:09

Hols25 · 05/12/2025 18:21

My DL really doesn’t smell. And shedding is minimal if anything at the moment. So I think that’s a very sweeping statement.

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I understand OP. This may sound drastic but in-laws not liking DL or wanting DL in their house would be enough for me to think this relationship won’t work long-term. Plus the fact your DP didn’t ask them.

I would gladly stay with my DL and give the rest of them a wide berth to be honest.

Videooooo · 05/12/2025 22:09

You’re not being unreasonable to be pissed off because he lied to you and has now left you in the lurch.

His parents aren’t being unreasonable to not want a dog there (I’m a dog person but I really don’t like people bringing their dogs into my
house. Even my family!).

Tootiredforthis23 · 05/12/2025 22:12

Calliopespa · 05/12/2025 22:07

I think a lot of hotels have rules about dogs being left unaccompanied.

She would be better to leave him at home and drive there and back in the same day.

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Lots of air b&bs allow pets (you can filter it to show only ones that do), that way the OP could just leave the dog for a few hours at a time. I’d rather do that than stay with a new boyfriend’s parents anyway, at least you have your own space. So it’d be a win win really.

MissDoubleU · 05/12/2025 22:13

I’m going to hold you hand while I say this OP, but your ‘D’ lab absolutely sheds and smells. They are not small dogs. No non dog owner wants an unknown lab rolling around their cream carpets.

Dogs should be both capable and happy being left alone for a few hours if you wanted to go for lunch and return.

You did not get “sole custody” of the dog. Come on now, behave.

Doggielovelouie · 05/12/2025 22:13

Strikeback · 05/12/2025 21:25

I haven't RTFT but all the people casually suggesting that your dog goes into kennels/spends several hours alone at a Travelodge....no way would we do that to our dog. Would you leave a child in an unknown place alone? I'm sure if his parents are reasonable they will understand and respect your responsibilities.

Edited

Wait for it…

it’s dog 🐶 not a child ffs

sprigatito · 05/12/2025 22:14

It was daft to suppose that they would want your dog in the first place. Most people don’t want someone else’s dog in their home.

Doggielovelouie · 05/12/2025 22:14

Tootiredforthis23 · 05/12/2025 22:12

Lots of air b&bs allow pets (you can filter it to show only ones that do), that way the OP could just leave the dog for a few hours at a time. I’d rather do that than stay with a new boyfriend’s parents anyway, at least you have your own space. So it’d be a win win really.

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Not really - you’ll find pet friendly doesn’t mean go out and leave the dog!

it means they can be in home when you are usually downstairs and away from bedrooms not feee roaming while your out

verybighouseinthecountry · 05/12/2025 22:15

sprigatito · 05/12/2025 22:14

It was daft to suppose that they would want your dog in the first place. Most people don’t want someone else’s dog in their home.

And especially for three days!

Ambridgefan · 05/12/2025 22:16

I sorry but I agree with your partner's parents I wouldn't want to host a dog over Christmas either.

Videooooo · 05/12/2025 22:16

InlandTaipan · 05/12/2025 19:37

Bless you, of course he smells and sheds - he's a labrador.

Don't get me wrong, your boyfriend should have checked not assumed but really very few people would be happy to accommodate a stranger's large dog over Christmas, it's you they want to meet.

Going forward, be realistic. The number of places who will welcome you plus dog over the holiday season will be relatively small. Houses are busier than usual, there's less space. People who aren't animal lovers aren't going to welcome you, and most of those who are will have their own pets and will worry how they are all going to get along. Stay home, see family or find someone to look after ddog if you want to go visiting.

Agree with all of this. I love labradors. But I promise you; they do smell.

My sibling has a large dog. I always accommodate it. But I hate doing so. I HATE having the dog over. I’d never tell them.

I love dogs. But this dog is SO smelly and it takes me forever to get all the smell and all hairs out. And the dog sets our cat on edge. And it’s just so big that it takes up too much room, has muddy paws as it needs a walk etc.

I have a very sensitive sense of smell and traditionally “smelly” dogs (which I grew up with, in fact) really set me off.

But I love my sibling and would rather see them with the dog than not see them at all.

I do feel for you, OP. It’s not an easy situation. Your partner is the one who has been in the wrong here though.

PapaSatanicus · 05/12/2025 22:16

You don’t have a problem with DPs parents. You have a DP problem.

Put DP in a kennel (for good) and take your labrador for a nice xmas holiday break somewhere.

Doggielovelouie · 05/12/2025 22:16

HisNibs · 05/12/2025 22:00

So DP cocks up and doesn't ask his parents in the first place and lies saying DLab can come? Then has to backtrack when they say no and keeps up with his plan of going leaving OP alone. What a catch he is. Not really a keeper is he?

Exactly - can’t believe he said “oh well I’m still going”

Theslummymummy · 05/12/2025 22:18

You aren't unreasonable to be upset at not seeing your bf for Xmas. You are unreasonable if you think your dog should be invited.

I've got 2 dogs, and I knew they weren't for everyone and if someone didn't want to include them, then that was the sacrifice of having a pet.

Doggielovelouie · 05/12/2025 22:19

namechangetheworld · 05/12/2025 21:43

Dogs have no choice in the matter to be fair.

It's not like thay can grab the car keys and fuck off whenever they fancy.

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They can move rooms 🤣🤣

everyone knows the loyalty of dogs 🐶

Onthemaintrunkline · 05/12/2025 22:19

Calliopespa · 05/12/2025 21:29

I'm not sure this is quite fair. Her partner is quite capable of fending for himself in a way the dog isn't. It's not prioritising the dog any more than making your three year old walk while the baby rides in the pram is prioritising the baby.

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Your logic baffles me! It very much is a choice thing, go with partner or stay at home with the dog, OP’s decision as she can’t have her cake and eat it.

Doggielovelouie · 05/12/2025 22:21

Stravaig · 05/12/2025 21:34

Also, as I'm a wee bit grumpy, a public service announcement for desperate and delusional MNetters. 'Partner' is a term that gained popularity to describe those in long-term, committed, likely living together, with or without children, marriage-like relationships, but who chose not to get married. A secular equivalent to 'spouse' or 'husband' or 'wife'.

It does not describe the person you've just met and have been randomly shagging for 3, 6, 12, or more months and only just begun getting to know. That you want to be in a long-term committed marriage-like relationship, and you desperately want this person to be the one, does not make them your 'partner'.

Half the threads on MN would vanish if women would only accurately see and understand the reality of what they are currently doing and who they are doing it with.

and the point of this post is???

OP can define her relationships as she likes

PollyBell · 05/12/2025 22:21

Doggielovelouie · 05/12/2025 22:16

Exactly - can’t believe he said “oh well I’m still going”

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Why wouldnt he? If somome wants to get offended a dog is not invited that is on them

I came imagine 'my bf wont come to my relatives because he doesn't want to leave a dog'

I am sure the replies would be 'you must stay home with him and not go"

Ambridgefan · 05/12/2025 22:22

Strikeback · 05/12/2025 21:25

I haven't RTFT but all the people casually suggesting that your dog goes into kennels/spends several hours alone at a Travelodge....no way would we do that to our dog. Would you leave a child in an unknown place alone? I'm sure if his parents are reasonable they will understand and respect your responsibilities.

Edited

For goodness sake a dog isn't a child! It's an animal a pet not a growing human being.
There is no comparison.

AutumnLover1989 · 05/12/2025 22:22

ACatNamedRobin · 05/12/2025 18:18

He doesn't like kennels, but it won't do him any harm.
You're right to be annoyed with your DP, but I'd put the dog in kennels.

Even if the op decided to,it's very short notice and most places will be booked up now.