DP’s family have uninvited my DLabrador from Christmas

[Hols25]

Feeling a bit pissed off. First Christmas with DP and he invited me to his parents house. They live a few hours away so I haven’t been there before, but have met them once for a meal where we live.

DP knows I have sole custody of my DL following breaking up with my ex last year, and he hates going into kennels. When he asked me about Christmas, I checked about whether DL could join and he said yes.

Fast forward to today and he’s told me his parents aren’t able to accommodate DL. They aren’t really dog people and are worried about their cream carpets.

It turns out he hadn’t actually checked with them before and only spoke to them last night.

This means I can’t go and won’t be spending Christmas with DP or the days either side as he’s travelling the morning before.

He says its just one of those things.

AIBU to feel upset with him?

Do you want op's DL!!😂

The poster is talking about the dog being uninvited as in OPs title, not the DP!

You’re treating your dog like a human, which isn’t healthy.

Trusted house sitters…? Even people you don’t know might be totally fine for your dog compared to kennels.

People routinely leave children in nurseries, daycare, and school.

Also, as I'm a wee bit grumpy, a public service announcement for desperate and delusional MNetters. 'Partner' is a term that gained popularity to describe those in long-term, committed, likely living together, with or without children, marriage-like relationships, but who chose not to get married. A secular equivalent to 'spouse' or 'husband' or 'wife'.

It does not describe the person you've just met and have been randomly shagging for 3, 6, 12, or more months and only just begun getting to know. That you want to be in a long-term committed marriage-like relationship, and you desperately want this person to be the one, does not make them your 'partner'.

Half the threads on MN would vanish if women would only accurately see and understand the reality of what they are currently doing and who they are doing it with.

This. Exdp used to pull this kind of stunt, to avoid an imaginary row.

Your in laws haven’t been unreasonable at all

your dp is. Clearly it’s too late to make other plans for DDog!

Or Option 3 just not go. The boyfriend is a dick anyway.

I would love to have your DL round for Christmas. I guess you could come too if needed.

Mate, your Labrador does smell. And they’re big greasy dogs, I let a family member bring his for Christmas twice and honestly, it was grim. I’ve put a stop to it.

It isn’t “cruel” to leave a dog at home or in an air b&b for a few hours, you know it doesn’t know what Christmas is? Cause it’s a dog 😅

Dogs have no choice in the matter to be fair.

It's not like thay can grab the car keys and fuck off whenever they fancy.

It is unreasonable for people to host your dog.

I think you're either a dog person or not and I'd never date a non dog person. DLabrador is not accurate. It should be DDCWLabradooory baby (Dear DarlingCutsyWootsy). I'd rather have Christmas alone with my dog over any number of non dog people

Why can't you leave the dog with your DB then?

Subjective but do think you’re being unreasonable being so angry rather than a bit miffed with him. Intention is key and it’s clear DP was caught between a rock and hard place. He obviously wanted you both there. It’s daft on his part not to check but not the crime of the century. He maybe thought it wouldn’t be an issue. He can’t square the circle on this one. From his pov his DP is opting to boycott Christmas due to DL. Your call, and reasons sound but why be so resentful or angry at him!? I’ve got cheese in fridge older than 6 months which is length of the relationship. You’ve made your choice. DL comes first. Not their fault or yours that you’re choosing that option but make no mistake. A choice it is.

Can your brother have DL and you go to your DP’s parents??

This

She could have made other plans or even gotten a sitter, if she'd enough notice. The invite was issued back in August and he knew his parents weren't dog people, so it's unbelievable he didn't check with them first. Now OP will be mostly alone on Christmas due to his thoughtlessness.

I'd be pissed off about this, not at his parents, but at him.

I’m just a no dogs in the house person, so would have said no. I have made an exception one time, for close long term friends whose dog old and dying and they didn’t go anywhere without him. I wouldn’t be making an exception for a child’s new partner!

Your DP isn't ready for a relationship with a single mother who has sole custody of a DL.

I would be annoyed that he hadn't checked earlier and lied about doing so. But I wouldn't be annoyed with his parents for saying no.

What I would do is either spend the day at home with my dog, or I would drive up in the morning, spend the afternoon there and drive back in the evening. My dog would happily snooze in the car after his walk, and wouldn't be in the house at all. But that depends on the weather, distance and traffic, and also how keen I was to spend time with them on Christmas Day or whether I was happy enough home alone.

All dogs smell and I certainly wouldn't want a labrador in the house.
Your DP was wrong not to check but there's still time to book a dog sitter or kennel. It's a dog, it may not like kennels but it will be safe and fed and people are more important.

Why don’t you ask your DB to have your dog for Xmas? Win win?