DP’s family have uninvited my DLabrador from Christmas

[Hols25]

Feeling a bit pissed off. First Christmas with DP and he invited me to his parents house. They live a few hours away so I haven’t been there before, but have met them once for a meal where we live.

DP knows I have sole custody of my DL following breaking up with my ex last year, and he hates going into kennels. When he asked me about Christmas, I checked about whether DL could join and he said yes.

Fast forward to today and he’s told me his parents aren’t able to accommodate DL. They aren’t really dog people and are worried about their cream carpets.

It turns out he hadn’t actually checked with them before and only spoke to them last night.

This means I can’t go and won’t be spending Christmas with DP or the days either side as he’s travelling the morning before.

He says its just one of those things.

AIBU to feel upset with him?

I think that being prepared to put your dog in kennels for a few days is part of being a grown-up.

Your dog was never invited. Rent a pet friendly an airbnb close to his parents

I'd take it as a sign and avoid these people becoming your future in laws.

Goodness. MN really attracts the crazy dogstremists.

I have had dogs for around 40 years. Some could be left alone and some could not despite my best efforts. Its not until you have had a dog with separation anxiety that you understand what it is like. Its absolutely not a ridiculous belief.

I love my dog. She is my world. We take her everywhere we can. But I would never take her to someone else's house in this scenario because I love her doesn't mean everyone else does especially if they aren't dog people and it's going to their house. I would be more than happy to stay behind with my dog and we have missed things before because she couldn't go and we didn't want to leave her at that time for whatever reason.

So just stay home...
But the whole MY dog doesn't smell MY dog doesn't shed. I can guarantee a non dog person who isn't used to your dog will absolutely smell it and notice shedding.

I don't think my dog smells either but I'd be stupid to think that someone that doesn't live with her or spend as much time with her wouldn't notice a smell.. Not strong or bad necessarily but there would be SOME smell you don't notice since you're around it all the time.

You can be upset with him for not checking first but you'd be unreasonable to be annoyed that other people don't love and want your dog around as much as you do especially in their houses. I think they're completely reasonable not wanting this.

Leave the dog behind or you stay with it. Seems like a pretty black and white situation.

Labradors are no more "smelly" than any other dog.

Dog or no dog, anyone who has cream carpets is an idiot.

I’d be happily spending the day with my Lab. Sounds perfect if you ask me 😊

Hotels don't let you leave dogs alone in the room.

70 years old here and still not grown up then.

And to then be willing to leave you alone for Christmas. Not a great sign for so early on in the relationship! Any chance he’s pretending the dog isn’t invited as he cba?

Oh ok I didn’t know this.

Not sure I agree with this. I’d never put a dog of mine in kennels either. My first choice wouldn’t e family or friends but otherwise a dog sitter. The OP has no chance this close to Christmas and sounds like she’s not comfortable with the idea anyway.

I wasn't suggesting forcing them.

They’ve said no. It would be the height of bad manners to continue trying to compromise so the dog doesn’t miss his Christmas dinner.

I wouldn't want a Labrador in my house and I have an inside dog. The Labradors I've seen smell and shed.

You can't just leave a dog in a separate part of a strange house. They'd be stressed and bark and scratch at the door.

All dogs smell to some extent, it's their owners who are 'nose blind'.

Hols25, you’ve obvs got to rid yourself of all these beings who don’t understand animals the way you do. …stay away from DP & his family & most M’netters.
I truely hope you have a perfect xmas with your wonderful pet 😊🐺.

No. DDog is absolutely bad enough. We're not having DLabrador or DSpaniel or DScottie.

This.

Nah. Listen, my dog isn’t my child. But I wouldn’t put her in kennels. It would be awful for her.

I wouldn’t inflict her on anyone else either. That’s just life. If I can’t get a dog sitter in my home, one of us stays with her or she stays alone for the day, which she’s fine with for 6 hours or so (or people come to us).

Kennels are fine for some dogs, but not for all. I’ve had previous dogs that were fine in kennels. It depends on the dog and their personality. Part of being a grown up and a responsible dog owner is knowing the difference.

Then OP will just have to accept her lot 🤷‍♀️

I thought they said no because of the carpet.

At any rate I'm not siding with the OP, I wouldn't have a dog in my house either.

My Lab does shed, a lot, but she really is not smelly. IMO, I'd take the dog in preference to most of the people.

By Christmas, you’ll have only been with your boyfriend for 6 months, OP. That’s not exactly a very long time - his parents are barely familiar with you, let alone your dog - I can understand the parents not wanting a strange, large-breed dog in their home.

However you did mention they live only a few hours away - were you and DP planning to go just for the holiday meal, or stay there overnight? Could you drive yourself separately for just the meal and then drive back home to stay with your dog, if you’re so desperate to spend the holiday with DP’s parents? It would suck, yes, but you’ve expressed wanting to be there for your dog/not board him/leave him alone, but you also don’t want to spend the holiday alone, so that might be the only viable solution.