DP’s family have uninvited my DLabrador from Christmas

[Hols25]

Feeling a bit pissed off. First Christmas with DP and he invited me to his parents house. They live a few hours away so I haven’t been there before, but have met them once for a meal where we live.

DP knows I have sole custody of my DL following breaking up with my ex last year, and he hates going into kennels. When he asked me about Christmas, I checked about whether DL could join and he said yes.

Fast forward to today and he’s told me his parents aren’t able to accommodate DL. They aren’t really dog people and are worried about their cream carpets.

It turns out he hadn’t actually checked with them before and only spoke to them last night.

This means I can’t go and won’t be spending Christmas with DP or the days either side as he’s travelling the morning before.

He says its just one of those things.

AIBU to feel upset with him?

This.

I love dogs (labs are amazing… but they drool! and honestly have never met a non smelly dog - owners just become immune to it I think, like smokers who can’t smell smoke) anyway - that aside I absolutely do not want them in the kitchen where I’m cooking food, not exactly hygienic so I wouldn’t be impressed if that was the suggestion. It’s also quite rude - you can’t insist people invite other family members, canine or human.

I grew up with dogs, but (regardless of carpet colour) I wouldn't "invite" a dog I didn't know to stay in the house. Saying you'd like to meet a dog some day is just polite conversation and doesn't mean you want him to join you for Christmas.

I'm more of a cat person, and might risk an unknown cat, and there are dogs I know who are extremely welcome here. However, there are others who really aren't. If you can't make alternative arrangements for the dog, you'll just have to make them for both of you.

I think your true concern should be your DP doesnt care about your Christmas bring together

The question is AIBU to be pissed off at DP.

I would be annoyed that he lied and hurt that he doesn't care enough about not seeing you / disappointing you / leaving you with no plans.

They are dooming their son to no future with the OP. For good dog owners, substitute the word dog for the word child.
People who don't have dogs, (or have dogs but don't give a shit about them) have literally no clue about this.

I have both. I protect & prioritise my dogs, as I protect & prioritise my kids.

It takes a rare friendship to make me flex, a new partner and their stranger parents and their cream carpets would be an immediate hell no.

Also it's a labrador ffs. The most ridiculously easy dogs in every sense.
People are mad

YABU to call your dog DL 😂

What?! 😂MN likes dogs more than humans! I’m suprised more people are saying ditch the boyfriend and his anti dog family!

OP as a previous lab owner, they do smell, they shed all year, albeit with varying degrees. If you’re not a dog lover it’s a big dog to have in your home.

The travel lodge idea is a good, go together Christmas Eve, leave the dog for a few hours on Christmas Day and then go home and your DP can carry on with his family. However, you’ll need to have a serious conversation about future years.

You are disappointed that you will be alone at Christmas, but you should be angry with your boyfriend for not checking. Dogs, like children, are a responsibility, and like all responsibilities it often means that you have to curtail some social events. It goes with the territory.

And to dog free people dogs do smell. You are just nose blind because you have a dog.

MN hates dogs so you’ll get loads of people saying YABU but the dog is family. Why should they be in kennels for Christmas!

@PortSalutPlease don't be silly. It is very rude to assume you can bring a dog to a dog free house.

Finding somewhere near where I could stay would still have the same issues. DL alone whilst we are having dinner etc. just unfair on him and cruel, he’d still be alone in an unfamiliar place.

It’s a bloody dog. And I say that as someone who had dogs for years and loves dogs. It will not have any concept of being left out of dinner. I don’t know where this ridiculous belief that dogs can’t be left alone has come from in recent years. People have had dogs as pets for donkeys years, it’s become massively over complicated recently. Do you honestly refer to yourself as having ‘sole custody’ of the dog to people in real life? It’s not a child, you aren’t a single parent, you just own a dog. Stop being over dramatic and either find somewhere else to stay and leave the dog whilst you eat or find somewhere else to go. No one is required to have your dog in their home.

I wouldn’t either but getting a ‘dog sitter’ on Christmas Day will be tricky.

Sweet suffering Jesus….
Some people are indeed mad.

Yep , was going to say this too.

Christmas is a stressful time for any host , esp as you have all only met once before.

In your position I'd give your dp a earful ( and wonder what other lies he has told ) then contact his dps and explain that your pooch doesn't like kennels and graciously and politely decline the invite but ask if there is a midway point between you that you could meet up for lunch in the near future.

Any way that you could keep the dog in a separate part of the house? Like somewhere with tile or something?

Such a ridiculous post. We adore our dogs ( we don’t have one at the moment), but we don’t expect everyone else to! We also don’t assume we can take them everywhere we’re invited.

Most labs I know would welcome the chance for an extensive nap while you went out for dinner.

I love all Labradors very much. The smellier and sheddier the better 🤣. You’d both be welcome at ours, OP. I’d spoil DL rotten 🤣🤣

That’s not for op to force on her hosts. They’ve said no.

My in laws have cream carpets! Honestly don’t go for Christmas there, cream carpets and a fun Christmas never really go hand in hand!

And it’s not the non-dog lovers ;-)

There are good owners around. The ones who can’t leave their dogs even to have a meal out are the mad ones.

Team dog here , we have our own spaniel our son is bringing his spaniel and our daughter her cat ! Chill out it's Christmas

I love animals and pets, but taking them to others' homes is a huge ask. Especially at Christmas with tree, special foods, all sorts of extra clutter around.

Why doesn't your boyfriend stay with you for Christmas instead of going to his parents?

Are you sure he still wants you to go and isn't using this as an excuse ?

I don’t know where this ridiculous belief that dogs can’t be left alone has come from in recent years.

I agree @Tootiredforthis23
We always had a dog when I was growing up. The dog wasn't with us 24/7 all the time, nor were they left alone all day every day.

@KilkennyCats ... I agree that "They are dooming their son to no future with the OP" should win some sort of prize.