DP’s family have uninvited my DLabrador from Christmas

[Hols25]

Feeling a bit pissed off. First Christmas with DP and he invited me to his parents house. They live a few hours away so I haven’t been there before, but have met them once for a meal where we live.

DP knows I have sole custody of my DL following breaking up with my ex last year, and he hates going into kennels. When he asked me about Christmas, I checked about whether DL could join and he said yes.

Fast forward to today and he’s told me his parents aren’t able to accommodate DL. They aren’t really dog people and are worried about their cream carpets.

It turns out he hadn’t actually checked with them before and only spoke to them last night.

This means I can’t go and won’t be spending Christmas with DP or the days either side as he’s travelling the morning before.

He says its just one of those things.

AIBU to feel upset with him?

You’re being totally ridiculous to assume your dog was going to be invited for Christmas dinner.

As a dog owner you need to accept that sometimes your dog can’t go where you go. The options available are:

• You decide not to go
• Tou leave the dog home alone if it’s just a short couple of hours outing
• You find a kennel/dog sitter

Expecting relative strangers (you’ve met them once) to host your large dog is unreasonable, I wouldn’t allow anyone to bring their dog to my home, certainly not for an extended period and when there’s going to be lots going on, food out on countertops and so on.

Fair enough.

But an invite to Christmas year before last is how me and my son’s (now) fiancé got to know each other. I’d only met her once, briefly. I told ds she was welcome for Christmas and she sent me a lovely text, saying how touched she was and asking what she could bring for my younger children. It was the gateway to a lovely relationship and we’ve text pretty much every day ever since. I really appreciated her taking the time to say thankyou and to ask something so thoughtful.

This, sorry OP i love Labs from afar, but their smell is really pungent and it would be a no from me x

I love dogs and I have a dog who is doted on but I still wouldn’t want someone else’s Labrador in my house 🤷‍♀️

Are you planning on never going away without the dog?

That’s fine, no one is arguing that to you the dog is a member of family. But no one else feels like that about your dog, so it’s you that needs to make adaptations to accommodate your family not everyone else around you. If you can’t leave your dog on Xmas day, then don’t, have Xmas at home with your dog and have an absolutely wonderful time.

Is there such a thing as dog that isn't a smelly breed though? They all smell in my experience 😄

Unhelpful

Your DP should have checked before saying it was ok to bring your dog, it’s him should be annoyed with, not his parents. I’m a dog lover and have had dogs myself, but now I’m dog free, I’m not keen on other peoples dogs in my house either, so can’t really blame them. Do you have family or friends you can go to who are ok with the dog going so you don’t have to spend Christmas alone?

I’m team DDog all the way here. I’d far rather spend Christmas with my DDog than most people.

Why are you saying they uninvited DL? He never was invited.

Your DP lied for some reason. I would be bloody furious with him. What an idiot.

She didn't assume anything at any point 🤷‍♂️

Why are you saying she did?

He's hardly a DP. You haven't even been with him for a year. I've had shit moulding at the back of my fridge for longer.

All that aside, he shouldn't have extended the invite to the dog without checking with his parents first. It's their home. It was very entitled of him.

Maybe you could look for a dog friendly hotel near his parents if you are desperate to go with.

Your dog does smell as they all do. You can’t smell it as it’s in your house. Everyone who has a dog has a house that smells of dog unfortunately. I wouldn’t allow a large dog in my house.
And this is all your partner’s fault as he didn’t check the dog was welcome in the first place.

Enjoy the Xmas days with your dog. It’s likely to be more peaceful. Your partner should have checked with his parents well in advance as it’s not always easy to get a dog sitter/book kennels at Xmas. Not sure why all the dog haters on here have to dig deep with their descriptions of smelly dogs. Hope it’s been smugly satisfying for them🙄

That’s not really fair. Her dickhead partner lied and told her the dog was welcome.

Now he’s faced up to the situation and actually asked his parents, they’ve said no, which is their right.

OP even if he asked them in June and he told you they said no, what would you have done?

would you have expected him not to see his parents at Christmas?

what would your plan have been?

It’s just her dog ffs!!
what next, I have sole custody of my house plants??

That really sounds lovely - hope you'll always have such a nice relationship 💐

All I meant is that I'm not shocked OP hadn't already made contact with the in-laws and don't blame her for that. I think that in the range of possible family dynamics and Christmas scheduling habits, that's okay.

I have dogs and cats and wood floors but nope I wouldn’t be having someone bring another. And blame your partner - he’s the one who didn’t actually ask. People who love dogs generally have one already if they don’t there’s a reason!

In my opinion as someone with a slightly firmer grasp of reality than you, it seems.

I have a Coton de Tulear, a breed known for its non smelling coat. Educate yourself please before you start insulting a dog owner. Check out non dog threads.

They didn't uninvite the dog if he was never invited in the first place. DP can't invite him to his parents house. I would think it was a bit much if guests wanted to bring their dog I had never met before on Xmas when I am hosting - and I am a dog person....

"DL" is fucking adorable.
Anyone who thinks otherwise is a charmless nerk.
Bin him off, OP, and have a lovely snuggly Xmas with your lab. (That's DL!)

Yabu to say uninvited; he was never invited. Honestly, people thinking they can just take their dogs everywhere with them is exhausting. He will be fine in a kennels, if you won’t do that, you can’t complain. Bringing a dog is a huge ask. And DL’s absolutely shed and smell. I say this as a DL owner