To have expected him to make sure I got home ok?

[Muffinmoo]

First date last night with a guy who spent most of the evening telling me about how rich he was and all the companies he had owned and sold.

Left the restaurant, freezing outside. I am having trouble getting an uber. He is just standing there watching me struggle to try and book a cab. He suggests I get a black cab. Tell him I can’t really afford it. Eventually I give up and say I will walk to the tube which is about a 5-10 minute walk (I’m in heels). He walks with me part way before leaving me alone at gone midnight to go to his easiest tube stop. I have to walk to the tube in the dark by myself. He could have got the same tube line from the same station as me.
AIBU for expecting him to at least walk me to the tube if not help get me taxi??? Or is that too much these days?! 🙈

But equally you might tell your sons not to bother with someone who made a half hearted offer to pay for dinner, and then angled for you to pay their cab fare....on a first date.

@Doteycat but she absolutely had the option of getting home safely, she just didn’t take it. She wasn’t at risk, or facing a risky journey home with no other option. She had an option but wanted to save herself a few quid even after having her meal paid for. She’s now trying to make it an issue of chivalry and safety, when she was the one who deprioritised her own safety to save a small amount of money.

Don't go on another date with him. At a bare minimum I would have expected a date to walk me to the tube and text to check I got home safely. My H used to walk me and my female friends home before we were actually dating.

He probably had every intention of seeing OP to the Tube and changed his mind after her performance over the cab fare.

Trainers are pretty standard footwear for both sexes these days. The idea that heels are considered ‘dressing nicely’ went out in about 1986 and completely died in lockdown.

Id find it odd if a man dressed up in a shirt and shoes just to go on a first date! Casual and presentable is a good starting point - overdressing screams high maintenance imo ( on both sides)

Imo yes it would hard been a nice gesture to walk you to the station but think he should pay for a cab is rather entitled.

It is funny how so many on MN claim to have standards but those standards usually involve a blokes debit card coming out

I think he should have asked if you wanted to be accompanied. In the same way a pair of women out together would look out for each other.

Another poster might have come on here saying "I was quite capable of getting myself to the tube as I do myself all the time, and he made me feel a bit pathetic".

Yes but he was your friend - he clearly liked you as people.

This man is nothing to the OP - they went on one mediocre date - and she’s acting like he owes her.

You had no idea about how the date would go or the financial circumstances of the man you were meeting so it was naïve of you not to have a plan for your journey home before you even went on the date, which would have included suitable clothing and footwear. Unless freezing cold with blisters on your feet is how you prefer to end an evening out.

You could have afforded a black cab to ensure you got home safely but you chose the cheaper option and assumed a man you had only met that evening would be chivalrous enough to walk you to the tube.

You were more interesting in "testing" him than your safety so I really can't take your complaint seriously. Expecting a man you have only just met to pay for your cab or go out if his way for you is entitled not "having standards".

Do you want equality or not?

Absolutely nothing to do with Money.
Its decency.

Presumably you live in London or its outskirts if you travel by Tube. Do you require someone to escort you home every time you exit a station in the dark as well, which at the moment is from about 5pm onwards?

Maybe he's just looking for a woman who is capable of handling herself? Not that you are unreasonable to be looking for a man with those kind of manners. It was a first date - people have different priorities, you found out early.

You had me at “spent most of the evening telling me about how rich he was and all the companies he had owned and sold” - ick.

At least you know not to bother with a second date.

Thinking a virtual stranger should bankroll your night out and journey home is not ‘decency’ it’s entitled and yes it’s always about money.

Some women claim they want equality until it involves getting their debit card out

Exactly. If I'd been him I wouldn't have been interested in seeing her again.

Nope. I would advise a son, i dont have any, but I would tell him make sure he pays for dinner and makes sure she is safe when you leave her.
If she "angles" for cab fare, then id still expect him to get her home safely.
Whats a few quid if he conducts himself with decency.
Some people are way too busy being "cool" and forget what kindness looks like.
No wonder the world is as mean as it is.

No, you are incorrect.
Nothing to do with Money.
I know exactly what im saying, and you are incorrect.
HTH.

Why do you think you need to wear heels and totally inappropriate clothing in order to "look nice"

YABU. You're a grown adult who should capable of a) dressing themselves to suit the weather and b) getting themselves home without the help of a (virtual) stranger.

I agree. I met quite a few men like this (before I met my DH.) One bloke came and sat by me on the train, after getting on at Birmingham, and began chatting to me - I was going from Wolverhampton to London ... I was about 19 and was going to stay with a friend to go to a Wembley Stadium concert, and I was staying for 4-5 days...

He said he was a submariner, and he earned £50,000 a year (about 40 years ago when you could have bought a 3 bedroomed house for £20,000 in most parts of the UK!.)

He proceeded to blather on and on about his big fancy jag, his massive income, his designer clothers, all the countries he had visited, and all the shenanigans he and his mates got up to in the navy! After half an hour of this (and him asking me NOTHING about me,) I was almost in tears with boredom.

I had my case hidden in a 'case compartment' about 10-12 seats away, and I stopped him talking by saying 'excuse me I need the loo.' I grabbed my handbag, and sneakily got my case, and fucked off to the other end of the train!

I'm sure he thought he was endearing and attractive and sexy and exotic and all that shite, but in reality he was a tedious and boring cunt. 😆 And I didn't believe anything that came out of his mouth!

I never saw him again, and he didn't come to find me. (I was on the train for another hour and 15 minutes!!!) He must have found some other young woman to bore the pants off. 😂

What’s a few quid? She was the one not willing to pay a ‘few quid’ to get herself home safely despite saving money on the meal. She clearly had the cash but hoped he would just cough up.

I get you being cross with him but if you couldn’t get a taxi, how would he have got one for you?

At least he knows you're not a keeper.

Nope - it’s always about money from entitled women.

Ive taught my actual living breathing son to be courteous and polite but not be taken for a mug.

Expecting a virtual stranger to bankroll you is entitled and went out 40 years ago. HTH

I don't think he should be expected to pay for a cab as well as a meal.
Given that you were having to walk to the station, I think it's only polite to offer to walk with you.