To have expected him to make sure I got home ok?

[Muffinmoo]

First date last night with a guy who spent most of the evening telling me about how rich he was and all the companies he had owned and sold.

Left the restaurant, freezing outside. I am having trouble getting an uber. He is just standing there watching me struggle to try and book a cab. He suggests I get a black cab. Tell him I can’t really afford it. Eventually I give up and say I will walk to the tube which is about a 5-10 minute walk (I’m in heels). He walks with me part way before leaving me alone at gone midnight to go to his easiest tube stop. I have to walk to the tube in the dark by myself. He could have got the same tube line from the same station as me.
AIBU for expecting him to at least walk me to the tube if not help get me taxi??? Or is that too much these days?! 🙈

If his closer station tube line also goes through your further station and your heels were apparently an issue why wouldn’t you have got the tube at the closer station and then changed lines at your station?

If you could afford to pay for half the meal but didn’t have to then why couldn’t you afford a black cab?

None of your story is adding up OP, it’s coming across like you’re just grasping for his money, in which case lucky escape to him.

There has always been women who believe in the male protector. Not me, I'm a tough woman, independent. As said I'd expect DS to walk OP to the tube, I'd be equally disappointed if he fell for the taxi trick too, booking it on his card,. OP suggesting she'd offeri to reimburse is cringe, after him buying dinner, definitely cheeky, she should have had plenty for a taxi.

You’ve angled for money by saying you cannot afford a black cab. He’s made it clear he didn’t think you were worth it. He sounds obnoxious re the dinner conversation - if you’re unhappy about the treatment just block him and move off.

Can I just say your snarky replies about the women here on MN aren’t landing very well. I understand your point of view but by insulting the audience of a forum you decided to vent on you’re not going to get a lot of sympathy.

If you were my daughter I’d remind you to wear shoes you can walk/run in (if you have to) and a warm coat to keep you cozy. Remember what you have to offer and if that guy didn’t see it, then keep looking till you find someone who will appreciate you.

This. If anyone took it upon themselves to make sure it got home safely Is tell them to get stuffed. How fucking patronising. I'll make my own risk assessment thanks, and look after myself.

This! What do some of you expect from a stranger? If it weren't a "date" would you expect an acquaintance to take responsibility for you?

Unbelievable grabbiness on display here.

Probably not by being in heels, gone midnight, a distance from home.

He walked her to about two mins from the tube station. She wasn’t at risk, 😂

Sure she never goes out with her mates in heels. She saves that for men.

Yes I don’t understand how having saved £50 on a meal she couldn’t afford a cab but could have reimbursed him?

Yes, it sounds like he didn't like you enough to want to see you again.

YABU.
I'm not sure how your choice to wear uncomfortable clothes then somehow makes him responsible for you.

I very much doubt he was havering on about how rich he was, but takjing about his work, which translated as an opportunity for the op and him being wealthy. I mean who can’t book an Uber in London.

You've seen loads of famous actors who are multimillionaires on the bus? Haha I need to start catching your bus. The tube I know everyone uses for convenience.

I love it when men do the work of self-selecting themselves so you don't have to do any thinking about it at all. Very kind of him really to put himself of the reject pile so completely.

You think he wanted to see her again?

I agree with this

I think walking me to the tube is kind of basic.

I do too. And any one of my male friends would have done so, irrespective of whether they fancied you. Because it’s a basic courtesy. I wouldn’t expect him to pay for your cab - that’s different. But he should have walked with you to the tube station.

People who want to be escorted to the tube - what do you do when you go out with female friends? I go out in various parts of London at least once a week, usually heading home somewhere between 11.30 - 12. Streets and tubes are busy (unless you’re in the suburbs) and I certainly wouldn’t expect mates to walk me to the tube unless they are going the same way (and they’re usually not). Not sure why you would be more unsafe on a date.

If anything on a date I would think you’d plan more in case it goes wrong and you need to get away ie alternative route plans, shoes you can walk in

Yanbu at all, at least you know to steer clear

Probably not by being in heels, gone midnight, a distance from home

If OP can't manage those things normally, perhaps she shouldn't suddenly attempt them all at once on a first date. People really need to start managing their own risks.

Didn’t you have to walk from the tube station to your house in the same heels? Surely that was at least 5-10 minutes also. Why can’t you walk to the station in heels but you can walk from the station to your house in heels? And presumably you got to the venue in your heels also?

As your title asks, I agree, he should've asked if you got home ok. I would say that is basic for me. Has he messaged you since last night?

If he paid for the whole meal, and you were expecting to pay half, how on earth could you not afford a black cab? Clearly BS and he knew it.

Yes I know that men are more at risk than women but this is the way the group operates so I'm just reporting back. The girls do go out on their own and would either drive or go back to one house and parents take home. Boyfriends also will collect from nights out. Very old fashioned I suppose but they've implemented the system themselves with no outside pressure. Interestingly DD is in her first term at Uni and her found a friendship group that works in an almost identical way.

i don’t know why your getting shit on here. But in my opinion a man shouldn’t just let a woman walk back in the dark gone midnight especially when he could still get home from your tube stop. God forbid something happened to you there would be outcry that he didn’t and he was selfish blah blah blah. And then not to drop a message to say let me know your home ok isn’t ok. At least he showed himself early.