To have expected him to make sure I got home ok?

[Muffinmoo]

First date last night with a guy who spent most of the evening telling me about how rich he was and all the companies he had owned and sold.

Left the restaurant, freezing outside. I am having trouble getting an uber. He is just standing there watching me struggle to try and book a cab. He suggests I get a black cab. Tell him I can’t really afford it. Eventually I give up and say I will walk to the tube which is about a 5-10 minute walk (I’m in heels). He walks with me part way before leaving me alone at gone midnight to go to his easiest tube stop. I have to walk to the tube in the dark by myself. He could have got the same tube line from the same station as me.
AIBU for expecting him to at least walk me to the tube if not help get me taxi??? Or is that too much these days?! 🙈

But she didn’t, she is hardly making herself helpless. She was going to get an Uber. So she should just wear ugly shoes all the time just in case she can’t get a taxi from now on 😹

This, really. Did you emphasise your need for a man to protect you on your dating profile?

So she should just wear ugly shoes all the time just in case she can’t get a taxi from now on 😹

Surely there are shoes that you can walk in that aren't ugly ffs 😂

Well she clearly wasn't going to get an Uber unkess someone else paid for it, and if she was why didn’t she get the Black Cab?

?
your standard appears to be he pays for everything even though first date appears to have ended as mutual thanks but no thanks

your emphasis (in 2 posts) on his wealth suggests you are looking in the wrong place as you can't meet his "expectations"

so from his point of view you could afford it but you just didn’t want to pay it.

Why should he jump in to offer to pay for you to get home when you were perfectly capable you were just being stingy.

From his point of view you have shown gold digging characteristics on the first date trying to see what you could get away with and he wasn’t playing ball.

He was not responsible for paying your way home when you were capable of it.

She didn’t want anyone to pay for it. He could have seen if he could get one and she would have given him he money. Sometimes that works. And she explained that by the time she had walked to find the black cab she could just as daily have walked to the station. The point was he could have been nice enough to walk with her rather than leaving her.

Well everyone keeps talking about trainers and they are the ugliest shoes in the world 😹

The OP wanted him to "see her safely home" not "safely to the station". So either he'd have to travel with her, and walk her to her door, or stump up for a black cab. Strangely he wasn't keen.

No I never said I wanted him to safely see me home given my tube stop is right next to my flat.

I wanted him to walk me to the station and perhaps a text when I got back or otherwise just generally demonstrate some care or thought for my safety.

not once have I said he should escort me to my door.

Heels indicate helplessness and dependence because they impair walking and getting around independently. Example A is OP complaining about having to walk in them.

Living in a huge city and having to use public transport and walk distances, often in bad weather, they're not practical, they're stupid. Wearing them too much can shorten your Achilles tendon and increase the risk of foot injuries.

Well firstly you don’t know what kind of heels she was wearing, maybe they weren’t stupid and secondly you don’t know that she wears them all the time. And she wasn’t expecting to be walking around that night, she was planning on getting an Uber

You did say you were hinting for him to pay for the cab which is astonishingly entitled behaviour and would be a red flag to me on a date.

Exactly. They weren’t ridiculously high they were 4ins I got a taxi there and expected to be able to get (and pay for) my own taxi back and commented on here how it might have been nice for him to offer to help out and particularly so given he thought it was ok to go on at me about how rich he was, or at least walk me to the sodding tube station given it was late.

it’s my choice to wear heels because they looked nice and matched my outfit. I don’t understand how me expecting a man to demonstrate some manners has turned into a pile on about everything I have done, being accused of setting back women’s rights, having a poor uber rating because I don’t tip, being stupid, being unfashionable, being grabby, being entitled.

the misogyny and plain unjustified nastiness on this thread is insane. It’s all rather sad to see.

I am just trying to give you some fashion context. Trainers are not always a lazy choice. They can be stylish. It could just be that you and he have very different fashion aesthetics, not that he didn’t make an effort.

I have so many gorgeous pairs of heels that I no longer wear! By the time they become stylish again, I will probably be too old to wear them!

They were dirty, it was not a fashion choice.

Fair enough then.

It’s very sad that people get so nasty sometimes.
I don’t see why anyone would think it wrong for a man to offer to walk a woman to the station late at night.
I wouldn’t be interested in a man like that either x

You"ve also been very keen to point out how very low are the standards of those you disagree with... maybe the direction of the thread is something to do with you too?

You started all that OP with "I know it upsets some people on here when women have even the mildest of standards." very early on.

Which was pretty misogynistic itself.

Well what do you think I was responding to? 😂 people berating me because I have a certain expectation perhaps which I actually don’t think is wildly unreasonable. The reaction has been completely disproportionate.

You can’t be serious? You’ve been attacking women throughout your thread , saying we have low standards will date men who don’t care about us ans a whole host of utterly obnoxious stuff as we are capable of dressing ourselves appropriately, getting a cab and paying our way on a first date,

you don’t then get to bleat poor me I got it back.

I don’t currently date, but when I do I get myself there and back by myself. I’m not sure why him helping you to return home is part of the date nor his responsibility. Doesn’t sound like you enjoyed the date much if he spoke about himself the whole time, so why would you have wanted to spend a second longer in his company? It isn’t bad manners for him not to pay for you to get home or walk you to the tube. You made a fashion choice with your shoes, he made an intellectual decision that you were perfectly capable of getting yourself home. And you did, so he wasn’t wrong, was he? Plus ‘mildest standards’ - please - standards are paying your own way in life and getting yourself from A to B and back again. Are being a grown adult female. Not cadging cab money from a first date and a virtual stranger.

Sorry I must have missed all my posts where I randomly started insulting people.