To have expected him to make sure I got home ok?

[Muffinmoo]

First date last night with a guy who spent most of the evening telling me about how rich he was and all the companies he had owned and sold.

Left the restaurant, freezing outside. I am having trouble getting an uber. He is just standing there watching me struggle to try and book a cab. He suggests I get a black cab. Tell him I can’t really afford it. Eventually I give up and say I will walk to the tube which is about a 5-10 minute walk (I’m in heels). He walks with me part way before leaving me alone at gone midnight to go to his easiest tube stop. I have to walk to the tube in the dark by myself. He could have got the same tube line from the same station as me.
AIBU for expecting him to at least walk me to the tube if not help get me taxi??? Or is that too much these days?! 🙈

Keep telling yourself that 🙄

OP, I agree with a lot of what you've posted and I don't think he's a match for you.

However, I think a bit more preparation and foresight would have served you well here. Another time, maybe book the taxi in advance, or call it from the restaurant and wait there for it.

I agree. I don't even know many women who are incapable of planning and taking responsibility for their own safety, while expecting a man to do it. I certainly wouldn't want to socialise with them. I'm irritated enough by women who won't go into a pub or restaurant alone and wait for other women they've arranged to meet.

It's not sad - it's just having a different opinion on what being treated well means.

Like I think it's really shit when men don't cook, I feel like a man is treating me well when they cook me dinner. Other women don't want to be cooked for, they like to be walked everywhere because they are scared of the dark. Everyone's different and gets to decide what treatment they want

And I would be really sad if my brothers treated a woman like this on a first date, London or not.

I would be really sad if my brother or son went on a date with someone who expected them to pay for a black cab on top of paying for the whole dinner bill!

It sounds like he couldn't get away from you quick enough, tbh.

I expected him to demonstrate some care as to how I was getting home. That’s literally it. He had two opportunities to do so and didn’t. I will not be seeing him again.

Yes, exactly that.

It sounds like OP wants to be a trinket for a man prepared to pay for it. That's not what he's looking for.

He did, he suggested you get a black cab and hung about with you while you faffed around and tried to save a few quid.

How is walking you part way to a tube stop 5 mins away in the centre of London not demonstrating care. Did you demonstrate care for how he got home? It is this the little woman thing again?

Ah. Poor thing.

You make sure you aren't in that situation? You pre book an uber?

To the posters saying it's easy to get an Uber in London it's really not just lately.

I have friends who expect a man to pay a cab home that's not my standard but I don't judge everyone has their own standard.

If I'm wearing heels I'll choose a location for the date that's easier for me to get home. Maybe a tip for you OP? I often choose somewhere on my tube line so I'm not changing etc

One thing i personally do have a strong opinion on is do they check to make sure im home did he OP?

Anyway OP I do wish you luck. I have been with my husband for 30 years now and we have a supportive and equal relationship where we are very independent but can ask for help when needed. Our young adult kids are the same. I don’t know what the dating world is like now, but I am guessing it’s much more complicated.

I hope you meet a man that meets your criteria and your needs. But I would advise that you learn to look after yourself as well, as a man may not always be around to rescue you.

Do you need me to explain to you how the general risk to women is greater than that of men? Shall we pull up some stats? What a joke.

As do men, there are two people in a relationship and urging people to only think of their needs is guaranteed to make sure the op will remain single,

I’m a little confused with most of your complaints as he’d have had exactly the same app as you so would have had the same issues getting an Uber. Seems you’d have been happy for him to pay for a black cab but reimburse but not to pay yourself. Still would have been a cheap night out considering you didn’t have to pay for half of what I assume was an expensive meal (no issue with this unlike some pp’s. I’m always happy to offer but will accept if they say they will pay too). Regarding the walking, in this situation I’d just have said ‘do you mind walking me to the station as it’s a bit late to be walking alone’. If he’d refused then you’d definitely NBU however he likely thought you were happy to do this - lots are - and could even have been offended by someone doing this uninvited. Communication was an issue with the taxis too. If you’d wanted him to try you could have asked and made clear you will reimburse. Just ask for what you want in future!

Walking two mins in central London. Nah, not buying It, you could easily have got the tube from his tube station if you were as shit scared as you’re making out;

A woman walking alone at night is far more vulnerable than a man. He should have known that and offered to walk her to the station

Did I say I was ‘shit scared’ or did I say I thought it was uncaring? Did I say it was two minutes?

no by all means make up your own facts to justify your aggressive and completely unjustified stance. You sound like a very angry person.

Ok so what are you bringing to this? You sound like somebody with nothing to offer yourself yet expecting the world. My dad told me you can’t be both proud and useless.

Walking two mins to a tube station in central London? Are you serious? And if she was that scared and vulnerable, she could have either went via his tube station or said to him please can you walk me the few hundred yards I’ve come over all scared and vulnerable.

So you’re short of money but decided to get an Uber there even though you live right next to a tube? At 7pm when traffic is bloody awful in London. And then you offered to pay for half of the food but couldn’t pay for a black cab?

This all sounds like bobbins to me- I think you just wanted him to pay for a taxi.

I didn’t see the sense in paying for double a black cab that I would also have been walking around for when if I was walking anywhere I might as well walk to the tube station.

You literally know nothing about me.

You were literally just posting about how vulnerable you were walking a few hundred yards in central London. as you’re female. If you feel that way then either don’t go out at night, book an uber in plenty of time, wear appropriate footwear or explain to your companion you need walking thay few hundred yards due to your vulnerabilities.