OP the responses on here are ridiculous. Suggesting a woman has no self respect because she allowed him to buy her dinner is a result of the aggressive feminism in this country. It’s a miserable state of affairs.
In my culture it’s expected for the man to pay on a first date. I have never paid for my own meal on a first date in my life. I offer to pay my half (granted it’s a bit of a faux offer I will happily admit that) but if they accept I will pay my way and never see him again. Thankfully I have never encountered a man who accepts my offer, they are happy to pay.
I am not a feminist, at least not in the way this country promotes feminism. I believe in mutual respect and decency between both genders, but I also value traditions, and ultimately we each have our own roles to play in social etiquette. One is not better than the other, we are just different. And that is okay.
The remarks about your heels show a sense of bitterness. You wore heels for date with a date, and I’m guessing a nice dress, since you were cold? Being feminine and taking pride in your appearance is not a weakness.
The general narrative on MN is that if you conform to any type of traditional gender role (for example letting a man pay for you, or dressing to impress) you are;
lacking self respect, a princess, have expectations above your level, an entitled brat… BUT, most of all, you are opening yourself up for exploitation as a woman, you are allowing him to treat you an object. They automatically think men will abuse and take advantage. And this is where the defensive attitude towards men comes in, they seem to think unless we behave more gender neutral, we won’t be respected, and are setting women back.
It is utterly tiring, and not an accurate concept of society. My mother, and all the women in my family, have been married to their husbands for decades. All live a very traditional marriage, but the husbands treat them like queens, and most importantly they are best friends. They laugh together all the time. In contrast, look at all the threads on here from women in 50/50 relationships where the DH sounds wet and useless, you cannot win.
Ultimately, you have come for advice in the wrong field. I’m guessing if you took away the screens and saw these posters in their day to day life, you would realise you they are not the type of people you would choose to keep in your social circle anyway. Leave them to their way or life, and continue to live yours. You are not wrong. Continue not to settle.