To have expected him to make sure I got home ok?

[Muffinmoo]

First date last night with a guy who spent most of the evening telling me about how rich he was and all the companies he had owned and sold.

Left the restaurant, freezing outside. I am having trouble getting an uber. He is just standing there watching me struggle to try and book a cab. He suggests I get a black cab. Tell him I can’t really afford it. Eventually I give up and say I will walk to the tube which is about a 5-10 minute walk (I’m in heels). He walks with me part way before leaving me alone at gone midnight to go to his easiest tube stop. I have to walk to the tube in the dark by myself. He could have got the same tube line from the same station as me.
AIBU for expecting him to at least walk me to the tube if not help get me taxi??? Or is that too much these days?! 🙈

Next time just use your words. Say, can you come on the same one as me? I'm feeling a bit nervous at this time of night.

Agreed. I don't see what's wrong with North Face jackets either.

Mumsnet is a funny place. On some posts everyone is screaming LTB at someone’s husband for some minor indiscretion and here we have a man who has spent the whole evening bragging about himself and his money but who hasn’t got the decency to walk his date to the tube in the middle of the night and everyone is sticking up for him 😹

I know it’s wild!

I don't tend to look at myself as someone who needs to be looked after like a child, so no I wouldn't be bothered about this.

I would be bothered about the rich talk, enough to not actually want him to message me again to see if I was home

As someone who also had conservative, non-British parents and fought like hell to break free from their traditional strictures, I make no apology for the fact that I would like to burn those traditional values to the ground. I consider them oppressive and dangerous.

If some women are idiotic enough to defend their own oppression and feel demeaned by my opinions, that's not my problem. I hold these views and I voice these views for the women and girls who need to hear them in order to live freely and independently.

Date went OK?? When he spent the whole time talking about how rich he is?

As a Brit, I understand it's difficult, and it took me a very long time to understand this, but this is exactly correct. Clearly communicate your desires/thoughts/concerns and suddenly everything in life becomes much easier

Yeah I would agree in ordinary circumstances but also I don’t think I need to spell out to a 40 year old man how to behave on a date.

'Two words Sarah Everard' Do you think the guy that did that to her never had dated a woman he'd met on a dating site or paid for a meal?? It's people like that that you should make sure you are safe and are able to get home without asking for any favours. OPs date was suspiciously wearing a T shirt too..that has to be a big red flag sheesh

Idiotic, you say? So approximately 80% of the population of this planet are idiots in the way they live their life? Those are strong words coming from a minority view.

Just because you have bad experiences from your family doesn’t mean we all suffer from this set up. All the women in my family have been happy for decades. My parents are best friends.

I don’t doubt there are some unhappy marriages and men who take liberties, that will never change. And it happens in all different types of marriages. All the DH’s in 50/50 relationships on the MN threads sound just as bad and utterly useless.

Honestly some of you sound so bitter and miserable.

I said what I said.

Quite the opposite of bitter and miserable, on account of successfully breaking free from oppressive traditions.

If expecting a man to walk me to the station is colluding in my own oppression, I’ll stay ‘oppressed’ thanks.
how ridiculous.

Wow 😮 that’s rather rude!

Ok @Brooklans so now we are all bitter and miserable as well.

You don't have a high opinion of British women do you?

This poster was yesterday winding herself right up when I pointed out her post accusing whole sectors British women as behaving " like animals" or in a way that in her country would only be typical of people "with mental health" problems was actually quite insulting and rude.

And now here she is having another bash at British women from another angle.

We may not be perfect, but there are many aspects of what we have established for ourselves as British women that we are proud of and, while of course we are all entitled to our opinions, I do pride myself on the fact that I would never travel to another country and start levelling insults like that at their culture. Some of the early British colonialists did that with indigenous peoples and we all deplore it now. Yet here you are ...

It’s insane how angry some people get when women have standards for how they should be treated.

it infuriates me this incapable act. This man paid for her dinner and walked her part of the way for a five min walk in central London, and she wanted more. I myself and I’ve brought my daughter up, to do better.

I do have standards, my standards are if going on a date then you should be capable and willing to get yourself home and not want escorting and paying for.

I certainly don't think women are idiots for living in the way in which their societies have dictated that they should live. I do feel angry on behalf of those who haven't been given genuine choices.

For those who actively choose to preserve their disadvantaged status, I feel mainly incomprehension. I'm not really clear as to whether they are simply too brainwashed to be able to make a different decision, or whether they have made an active choice to accept certain disadvantages that I would find intolerable because of some other psychological and/or material payoff that they value more highly.

Assume a wealthy man who is resorting to using dating sites, is just making sure you haven't cat fished him. And that you aren't the only person he has treated to dinner that week. He's screening women. If he is genuinely wealthy he is probably looking out for gold diggers if he is serious (and single) or is looking for a liaison if he thinks he can buy you. Either way you weren't keen and neither was he. Move on and make sure you have an escape route in case your date gives you the creeps. Most women prefer a day date or a quick coffee and dash, for the reason of safety. A strange man walking you somewhere late a night is not very sensible... irrespective of what he was wearing

That’s great, there are plenty of low effort men for you to go out with.

No love, you’re twisting my words again 🙂 like you did on the other thread. I said a minority. I didn’t read the rest of your post as you don’t talk much sense.

I’m happily married op, and have been for a long time. My husband and I are equal partners, and that’s everything from household chores to child rearing to finances, where we split proportionally to our incomes.

I am not in your position where I’m going out dating strangers, unable to pay for myself, can’t dress appropriately and needing paying for.