To have expected him to make sure I got home ok?

[Muffinmoo]

First date last night with a guy who spent most of the evening telling me about how rich he was and all the companies he had owned and sold.

Left the restaurant, freezing outside. I am having trouble getting an uber. He is just standing there watching me struggle to try and book a cab. He suggests I get a black cab. Tell him I can’t really afford it. Eventually I give up and say I will walk to the tube which is about a 5-10 minute walk (I’m in heels). He walks with me part way before leaving me alone at gone midnight to go to his easiest tube stop. I have to walk to the tube in the dark by myself. He could have got the same tube line from the same station as me.
AIBU for expecting him to at least walk me to the tube if not help get me taxi??? Or is that too much these days?! 🙈

For the love of all that is holy.

She could have got on the tube at the station he walked to.
Travelled one stop.
Then changed lines.

No walking alone necessary.

Its really simple. You dont have to start your journey on the line you end your journey on. You can changes lines. They interconnect.

It's so simple that school children understand how to do it.

She walked alone by choice. And now blames him for it.

OP says he paid for her meal.

Try reading the OP’s other posts. She couldn’t get an Uber but she suggests he could have got one on his account? She could afford a black cab, she just didn’t want to pay for one (but she’d have taken one if he’d have paid for it). He got have got the tube at her station, but in that case she could have got the tube at his station and changed at her own.

Some of these comments are appalling. Women tearing others down.

Ah, you're one of those. 'High standards' (which always somehow translates to 'man pays'). Needing to dress ridiculously and wear heels you cannot walk in to look 'nice'. Expecting a stranger to pay for your dinner, because he asked you out. Would you cover the whole bill if you were the one asking him out? Like hell you would, it's not 'ladylike' right, and it wouldn't be 'manly' to accept. And if he accepted, it would 'give you the ick somehow'. Expecting him to see the helpless damsel home safely by paying for your cab.

You faffed outside on purpose, waiting for him to offer to cover your cab, pretending you can't afford it. He knew fully well that that's bullshit, you had your share of dinner money. He did wait with you for your cab to arrive, until you started with all the 'poor me, no cabs, no money' crap. Then he legged it as fast and as far as he could. Dodged a bullet, that bloke.

🤣From what OP has says, it sounds like he won't be asking!

This is not having standards, this is really skanky to me. "A cab fare would have been literal pennies" sounds vile. it's irrelevant how much it would have cost him, you shouldn't have gone anywhere if you didn't have the means to get home. It's this kind of slack and needy behaviour that makes men think we're weak and fickle. It's no one's responsibility to get you home, take ownership of your shit and stop being a baby.

I don't think she's acting like he owes her anything.

I wouldn't have a second date with him. This would signal to me that he just wast into @Muffinmoo.

I personally wouldn't leave a random to walk alone let along someone I've just had a meal with.

Actually, only a few weeks ago I got a lady home who I met on the bus. She was lost due to bus diversions and terminations.

Because it's pissing people off. We wanted equality, did we not? I'm an adult woman, of sane and sound mind, capable of fully taking care of myself. I don't need a man to save me, guard me, pay for me. I earn my money and pay my own way.

I'm perfectly capable of getting home from central London, using the tube, getting cabs, and paying for them. I don't wear ridiculous clothes and footwear, so I'd feel cold and incapable of walking 10 mins. If I were a man, OP's shtick would put me off, a helpless damsel in distress, buy her dinner, pay for her cab, protect her from the elements, while she's standing there shivering, all weak, cute and pitiful. This bullshit might be appealing to teens/early 20s, so they can show what strong and macho men they are. But I suspect it's very wearing once you're a proper adult.

Because it's embarrassing to see a fully grown woman talking about wearing heels to "look nice", and to see her acting as though she's incapable of looking after herself without input from a man.

Eurgh.

I agree with this.

If you could afford to pay for your half of dinner but didn't have to, surely you could have afforded the black cab?

Not quite. She tried to get an uber. Sometimes no driver will accept the fare or it takes stupidly long. It happens. HE suggested she should take a black cab instead which is why she said she couldn’t really afford one(ok by her own admission she could’ve). By ordering on his account she meant a black cab. He didn’t offer (fair enough) so she decided to walk to the train station. He should’ve offered to walk her there.

You aren’t being a “princess”. No man worth seeing again would leave a woman to walk the streets alone at gone midnight, especially when he could also get home from your tube station.

1. She had money to pay for a black cab as she didn't spend a penny on her dinner. She just didn't want to.

1. If he could have gone to her tube stop, she could have gone to his.

She is being a total princess.

First date last night with a guy who spent most of the evening telling me about how rich he was and all the companies he had owned and sold.

This is the "unreasonable, wanker, bin him off" bit. Not the rest of it. You are perfectly capable of walking to the next tube station along in brightly lit, crowded central London, as I presume you do when you've been out with friends.

Sometimes male friends offer to walk me to my tube station and my only reaction has ever been "don't be silly, I can do that myself".

If I disliked a first date as much as you seem to dislike him I would be pretending I lived in the opposite direction so I didn't have to spend ANY extra time with him at all. I've jumped on completely random buses going to god knows where in that situation before (and after a couple of stops just doubled back).

This isn’t the point is it. Simp.

The OP wants to be clippy clipping around in high heels and no coat looking pretty, whilst the man (who she doesn't even like) buys her dinner and pays for her black cab as its 'only pennies', yet not something she wants to spend HER pennies on!

How old are you? I haven't met anyone younger than my mother who would object so much to a T-shirt over a proper shirt.

Well you both sound awful. It’s a real shame you didn’t get on better.

You dressed up nicely maybe not nice enough for him ? What a stupid comment. As others have said why didn't you stay in the warm and dry in the restaurant until you got your Uber sorted. It's a bit of a risk letting a first date walk you anywhere anyway, especially if he's already spent money on you.

It sounds like he wasn’t particularly interested in you, and as he’d already paid for the meal, he at the least expected you to pay your own way home.

You were prepared to pay your half of the meal, yet couldn’t afford a black cab once he offered to pick up your meal cost?

You sound tight.

I imagine it was a bit awkward for you both.

Maybe he didn’t want to offend you or is weary of people expecting him to pay for things but he could have walked you to the station.

Have u heard from him?

His actions would make me think he wasn’t bothered about a second date but maybe he is thoughtless.

If you weren’t able to get an Uber from your account, what kind of magic was he going to perform to be more successful in getting one to come to exactly the same location? I don’t understand.

Wow I wouldn't leave a friend like that, never mind a potential love interest. Did he text later checking you'd got back okay?

It’s not that those of us who disagree with you have a low bar. We just expect a very different standard. It kind of comes across that you want to be infantilised and cared for and I think some us find that rather depressing. Tbh though he doesn’t sound like a keeper anyway wanging on about his wealth - yawn! Hope you meet someone you really like (and you invest in a good coat!!) X