To have expected him to make sure I got home ok?

[Muffinmoo]

First date last night with a guy who spent most of the evening telling me about how rich he was and all the companies he had owned and sold.

Left the restaurant, freezing outside. I am having trouble getting an uber. He is just standing there watching me struggle to try and book a cab. He suggests I get a black cab. Tell him I can’t really afford it. Eventually I give up and say I will walk to the tube which is about a 5-10 minute walk (I’m in heels). He walks with me part way before leaving me alone at gone midnight to go to his easiest tube stop. I have to walk to the tube in the dark by myself. He could have got the same tube line from the same station as me.
AIBU for expecting him to at least walk me to the tube if not help get me taxi??? Or is that too much these days?! 🙈

And some men want equality, and think of women as equals, until it comes to pulling their weight around the house, looking after the children, and dealing with life admin, and doing the cooking, and shopping, and gruntwork.

Some men are happy for women to have equal rights, when it comes to paying for anything on dates, and expect her to fork out for herself for anything and everything, but sadly that's where the 'equal rights' end. Men never want 'equal rights for all' when it comes to pulling his weight in the house and with childcare. Most men do fuckall. Despite the claims from some posters - which will appear very soon - that their DH is very domesticated, and sometimes he even does more than THEY do around the house/with the kids! And he even does most of the cooking! 🥱

The posters comparing women to men on here are being bloody ridiculous. We are NOT the same, we are NOT equal, and we have different needs. I feel sorry for any woman who has the misfortune to meet any of the sons of some posters on here, if some of these posts are anything to go by. 🙄

The OP needs to bin this loser off. She's worth better than that.

Correct and I have sons.

I have both sons and daughters. I wouldn't want my sons taken advantage of by women who are too tight to pay for their meals and taxis. I also wouldn't want my daughters to take the piss with men in the same way.

I think it sounds quite entitled to have expected him to pay. Checking you got home ok, yes, paying for you to get home, why should he. I do agree he should have been chivalrous and walked you to the tube station but he’s maybe not that into you and is a bit of a prick! sounds of it you have dodged a bullet!

"I know it upsets some people on here when women have even the mildest of standards."

Interesting perspective on this thread given the other active one about women needing partners not " providers /protectors"

@Muffinmoo I agree with you. Is it too much to expect for him to at least text and check you got home ok? It’s surely common courtesy regardless of how the date went. Some posters here sound so angry with their comments about the 1950’s! Maybe no standards at all.

Tbh he doesn’t sound like a keeper so you probably had a lucky escape.

I for one am not comparing the two. I’ve said I happily accept the offer of a man paying for the date, and expect them to assist me in getting home if necessary via the most direct safe route. This doesn’t mean making a more complicated and longer journey to save a few quid that she’s already saved by not paying for her meal and expecting him to accompany her, or him forking out for her cab when he’s already settled the bill.

The fact she had a safe option of getting home, door to door, but chose not to take it is the key fact here.

I have an acquaintance who never takes her purse out on a date as in her view it’s a man’s job to feed and water her just for the privilege of her company.

Shes 60 now and I don’t think she’s paid for her own meal in decades. Though strangely she’s never had a LTR and never gets past a few dates as they probably think its time she stuck her hand in her pocket every now and again.

The cab is a bit of a red herring here, and it definitely wouldn’t have bothered me. However, he should’ve offered to walk you to the station. The fact that he didn’t means he doesn’t meet your standards, which are more than fair enough. It also probably means that perhaps you didn’t meet his either as he didn’t take advantage to prolong the night.

She said his tube line went through her station. She would have just needed to travel for one stop. There was no need for to walk anywhere alone if she didn't want to.

Yes-why didn't you do this, OP?! 😂

Expecting men to still be "gentlemen" with all the "girl-boss" empowerment stuff may be becoming a bit of an ask now from young men I'm guessing? Hopefully m/f relations will eventually reach a happy medium at some point...🙏

If I had gone out with a friend who couldn't afford a taxi home and I could I'd pay it for her. He sounds like a tight git, smug into the bargain.

Why would you go out if you can’t afford to get yourself home? He paid for her meal. Do you honestly think you would go out penniless in the brazen hope of being funded entirely by your date?

Absolbloodylutely this….the classless twat x

Read OP's posts again – she said she could afford a black cab but because it would be twice as expensive as an Uber she didn't want to pay it.

She assumed she would have been able to get an Uber. These things happen. I think after he'd made a point of bragging about how well off he was all night he could have been a bit nicer

I can definitely see where you are coming from. I would have hoped he'd have walked me to the station . I wouldn't have accepted any money for a taxi or anything like that even if you the agreement was to pay him back . It is just nice to have company walking around late at night as a woman because even the most confident of women can feel quite vulnerable. It would make me think maybe he's not for me. Disappointed isn't a feeling I like to leave a date with.

I think he has.

He was nice, he paid for her meal.

I suspect he didn’t brag at all but just discussed work, as we all do, and that this involved selling companies (if he does then what else was he supposed to say?).

And he knows who she is. He buys and sells companies and she can’t afford her own cab home. They don’t sound suited at all. I would find it really unattractive if a grown adult said they couldn’t afford a taxi. If one of my girlfriend’s said that on a night out I would think get your shit together.

If I'd gone out with a friend whose dinner I had just paid for, who was expecting me to pay for a cab, despite me not getting one myself, I'd wonder why she was going out at all with absolutely no intention of paying for anything.

If you didn’t pay for your share of the meal, surely you had enough for an uber or taxi, then?

It’s December - you dress appropriately - you can still look nice but wear a warm coat. A 5-10min walk to tube station is not really a safety issue unless it was 2am (which it obviously wasn’t as the tubes wouldn’t be running).

It was a first date. He paid. And I think you didn’t really mesh, so move on.

I dont think anyone who would think this is much of a friend.

I don't know how you can cope with the london tube. I was on it and almost had a panic attack I was so claustrophobic, I could never use it again

She tried to get an Uber multiple times.

How do you know she got a free dinner?