Surely I’m allowed to decide what body type I have ??!

[JustLeaveMeAlonePlease]

I was reading something about midsize fashion yesterday at lunch, mentioned it to a friend and said about how I struggle to find things that fit well and suit me (I’m a pear shape 5’10 and 9.5-10 stone my weight fluctuates within the size I wear depending on time of month etc- size 10) and she had a go at me ! Said that I’m too thin and calling myself midsize is not ok ?

But I’m very disproportionate and feel heavy ? Midsize clothing ideas suit me. She was then saying maybe I even have an eating disorder if I see myself that way.
Surely this is fine for me to see myself as midsize due to my shape/proportions and what suits me ? She was actually fuming though

To add I often really size up to 12 and 14 for cardigans hoodies jackets etc to accommodate and balance my shape but she said unless I wear a 14+ all the time in everything I can’t use the term to describe myself

Well at 5'10" and 9.5st your BMI is about 18, so the lower end of the scale. So no, you're not mid sized. Finding clothes that fit your body shape does not equate to being midsize, even if that style suits you.

Eh, gently, YABU. Just like you can't decide what skin colour you have... You have what you have. Lots of slim people like to say they feel fat or chubby, but they're not. Lots of very fat people like to say they are average not fat, doesn't mean they're not.

I thought I looked horribly obese at a BMI of 16 due to eating disorder/body dysmorphia. A bit of an extreme example there, but it's the same thing.

Feelings are not facts, as we were told in therapy.

Size 10 is not midsize, especially when you're tall.

I mean, if you can decide what body type you have you can also decide not to give a shit about what your friend said.

You're way above average height for a woman, and you're below average weight.

Those are the facts. How you feeling about yourself is of course another matter entirely.

Sounds like you're underweight (BMI of 18 is underweight) and wearing baggy clothes either to hide it or because you don't actually see your body for the size it is.

Your friend is rightly concerned about your physical and mental health.

And if your BMI is 18 and you're calling yourself midsize, maybe my "extreme" example from my own experiences isn't too far off the mark for you.

No, you can't just decide you're midsize because of your own perception/insecurity/mental health. You're just wrong, and that's it I'm afraid.

You have a way to describe your body that your friend doesn't agree with. Her view of what 'midsized' is doesn't relate to yours. There is not a problem with that.

Just don't use this judgement with other people.

You can feel that the clothing tips suit you but at an underweight bmi you can't really deem yourself midsize.
Maybe you struggle with clothing due to your height or maybe you have an unhealthy body image. I do see why your friend thinks it's concerning. You must be very lean at that weight and height.

You can (obviously) decide what suits you and what you want to wear. But no you can’t just declare that you are midsize when you obviously are not.

It is a little odd - and smacks of body dysmorphia or some kind of disorder - for you to say that you are. In your friend’s position I would have been concerned and questioned your thinking here.

She should not have got angry, but issues around size and weight are very triggering for a lot of women and maybe she has her own issues to work through.

depending on how close you are I guess you can discuss it further once you’re both calm or just ignore it/back away.

You can't just decide that you are mid size the same as someone who was a size 20 can't decide they're mid size. You are what you are which is tall and slim.

YABU. You are clearly very slim/skinny at that height and weight.
It is disrespectful to midsize women to class yourself as midsize. If you are midsize, you are making them obese.

Are you OK? Do you have any issues with food? It is not right to view your body in such a distorted way. You may need some support with this. xx

OP, you might FEEL mid sized but you’re above average height and below average weight for that height. You are not mid sized at all. I’m 5ft 8 and a size 14 so I’m very much mid sized.

I just have a very midsize appearance waist down . Very heavy and pear shaped (and bad cellulite) but a much smaller top half and that’s what people see I think ? My weight isn’t distributed well

No food issues at all I eat well and healthily

I wonder if this is the first conversation you've had like this with your friend? Her responses strike me as those of someone who is frustrated with and worried about a friend who has a perception of her body that doesn't match reality. If you're a size 10 but you're wearing size 14 hoodies because you think you need to, not just because you like an oversized look, then I think there's something concerning there.

Hmmm I thought everyone had to be accepted these days for their 'true' selves and you can self identify how you like. I've used weight and body dysmorphia to show examples of what a crock of shit that is and here it is in real time

It’s often as cardigans and hoodies I like are in a S 8-10 or M 12-14 so I go for baggier to hide hips/thigh width a bit and balance my shape. Maybe I’m just a heavy pear shape ? I

Cellulite has absolutely zero link with body weight. Its just the natural body fat which we all need to function.

With respect OP, you can't have the body and height ratio that you have and be "very heavy" in anything.

Even if you had lipoedema or lymphedema it be obvious on the scales, which this isn't.

She’s right - you’re not midsize.
Why are you so desperate to identify as such?

I think it’s less to do with the terminology specifically as it is the fact that you’ve repeatedly described yourself as a ‘very heavy’ pear shape just on this thread in a handful of posts alone despite your weight and height indicating you must be anything BUT heavy anything! I’d be a bit worried about a friend who clearly wasn’t really seeing herself clearly and was so insistent on using inaccurate size terminology regarding her body, honestly.

I'd bet that the issue here is with the length of the garment. You're tall, and you prefer garments that sit below your hips. But you're not mid size. Nor would I say you're an especially heavy pear shape because you'd then be wearing a dress size or more smaller on the top than the bottom.

I have very wide hips and heavy thighs I look very pear shaped it’s easier to hide in colder weather in summer if I wear shorts it’s very noticeable I’m not brave enough to post a photo but I look like 2 different people cut in half and stuck together ! My top half is small / skinny looking no layer of fat at all the bottom half I have a lot of weight

What body type is your friend? Is she much bigger than you? It's potentially quite hard if you are genuinely overweight and your teeny friend is talking about how they should be thinner.

My measurements are 34,25,40