Surely I’m allowed to decide what body type I have ??!

[JustLeaveMeAlonePlease]

I was reading something about midsize fashion yesterday at lunch, mentioned it to a friend and said about how I struggle to find things that fit well and suit me (I’m a pear shape 5’10 and 9.5-10 stone my weight fluctuates within the size I wear depending on time of month etc- size 10) and she had a go at me ! Said that I’m too thin and calling myself midsize is not ok ?

But I’m very disproportionate and feel heavy ? Midsize clothing ideas suit me. She was then saying maybe I even have an eating disorder if I see myself that way.
Surely this is fine for me to see myself as midsize due to my shape/proportions and what suits me ? She was actually fuming though

I'm and hourglass pear shape and agree its hard to think of myself as slim. Even when I am slim, my hips and shoulders are wider proportionately so I never look slim, I look gaunt as my neck and waist are slimmer.

No pleasing some people. Fuck em. These days I focus on strength training so I can be strong.

Midsize with a BMI of 18? Don't make me laugh.

You need some help for your obvious body dysmorphia.

I’m in a friendship group where I’m the fatty of the 6. Some of the others go on about how fat they are. They’re not, they’re slim! And them going on about it makes me feel like an elephant in comparison. It drives me mad, and it makes me feel really bad about myself. YABU.

You aren't mid size.

The problem with arguing about a fact - in this case a low BMI indicating that you're a “small”, in comparison with average BMI and average size of women in the UK - is that you’re in danger of falling into the body dysmorphia trap.

Your friend is correct, and maybe a chat with her to find out why it worried her to the extent that she told you it was not OK would help you understand why she said it.

Also, I would recommend seeking some advice on what to wear, and look into getting some of your clothes altered to fit better - it’s amazing how you can feel better about how you look with a few adjustments to off-the-peg clothes!

Probably best not to talk to your friend about that kinda stuff as it obviously triggers them for some reason. I totally get what you are saying about wanting to balance your body out. I guess just be mindful of the way you talk about it around other people as weight and body shape stuff is a sore
point for lots of people.

I think following mid size clothing influencers for styling ideas is great when you are a pear shape (I do the same). But you aren't mid size.

By all means get ideas from them (& as a fellow pear size, you need to balance yourself - i.e I wear fitted jeans with a belt to pull in my waist, fitted vest top & then a loose cardigan & this makes me look much slimmer than when I was wearing baggy bottoms to try & hide my wide hips & huge arse as It never actually did hide them) but you arent mid size.

There is nothing wrong with not being mid size but still following them for tips, recommendations etc but just don't describe yourself as mid size as I think this is the part that has irritated your friend. To be honest, I wouldnt ever feel the need to categorise myself as anything, especially not to a friend.

That's different to saying you're midsize, though, because you're not midsize. Saying you are does indicate that you either have a psychological issue with body image or you're being a dick and expecting people to tell you that you're not.

OP I hope I can be of some help. I'm 5'10'' too and I would say I'm curvy at a 16.
I was a 24 and bmi 43.
Im top heavy with a 38j and very thin arms and legs, no real hips. I'm happy with what I look like now after a brush with the grim reaper. It makes you greatful.
I get buying bigger clothes if you're taller, you might need the arm length or garment length.
You probably need better clothes. A size 10 jeans would be great with perhaps tops from long tall Sally or one of the German brands? Lands end do tall too.
You could try to move your weight distribution with a personal training programme but it depends on your age. I'm nearly sixty and I am what I am.
I would say I'm mid sized and you would be small, lean or trim.

I don't think defining oneself by size is terribly helpful anyway, really. I'm a tall hourglass and English clothes tend not to be cut with much of a bum, so my bottom half has always been a much bigger size than my top regardless of my weight or BMI. And not infrequently I will have an absolutely gaping waistband because my waist is so narrow compared to my hips. And different shops cut and size differently. So I just buy the clothes that comfortably fit my frame.

@Epidote
This is very much a country specific, 2025 vanity size standard.

I'm foreign (white European).
In 1997 I was size XXS / 4 in the British isles, while being very much a "normal" / standard size in my country.

Today I'm XS in the British Isles, size 6-8. I am considerably fatter.

E.g. I'm French size 38 in shirts/blouses, while also being XS in British isles sizes. Size 38 is definitely not small, let alone XS in France.

OP's friend has been taken in by the British isles specific vanity sizing that has happened over the last 25 years.

Your measurements make you very slim indeed. Yes you have wide hips. Most women do. I have no idea what midsize is supposed to mean as I've never heard that before, but you are definitely not.

OP, I support you.

The trouble is with everything, it is always a race to the bottom.

We can talk about the weather though🤣

As someone with a similar height and BMI I'd gently say YABU. Your weight may be distributed in a particular way, but you are slim.
You must know by now that tall, slim women are never allowed to express any dissatisfaction or challenge with their body or height, and must graciously accept personal comments and criticism...

Thst aside, be kind to yourself and wear what makes you feel good.

I would class this as midsize op I don’t think you are wrong in what you have said. I would say size 14+ is big!

You can't "decide" which body type you have. I would love to decide to have bigger boobs and a straight spine for example

However you can decide to tell your friend to butt out

So if I choose to buy a size XXL for the baggy look, I can call myself plus size?

Mid size is generally 14-16 you are likely a 4 to 6 with those measuremts
I am two stone heavier and 4 inches shorter and an 8 to 10

Surely Midsize is not 14-16... I would consider 'midsize' 12 and anything over is fat.

I’m a 8-10 at 5ft 7 and 10st 6lb.
Di you have a particularly bloated belly. Because I can’t see you being big enough to fill out a 10

As far as I'm aware it's an Americanism so yep two sizes bigger than UK so you are correct if talking about UK sizes

@JustLeaveMeAlonePlease I class myself as midsize. I am a little bigger and I’m hourglass shaped, weighing 10 stone 10lbs at 5ft 10”. my wardrobe is made up of sizes 10-14 depending on label (Zara I’m looking at you!)

I follow lots of midsize influencers on social media for my clothes recommendations and all of them are wearing a size 10-14 UK and literally call themselves midsize in their handles. Trouble is you’ll get people declaring what midsize is based on their own opinions. There has to be a bit of wiggle room for height though.

If I were you I’d say I have a midsize bottom half and a slender top half, so I like to follow midsize influencers advice as it feel it balances me out. No one can reasonably argue with that imo.

Depends what the frame of reference is, but I'd say in any country or culture 5'10" and under 10 stone is tall and slim. Within that there are different body types and shapes but you see that more if you put weight on, and how you carry it. I've never had proportionately a lot of weight on my middle and carry it on my limbs. Absolute classic mesomorph build.

In the UK when I was a size 14 and 5'7" I fit nicely into all seating, length and width wise, so I felt very much like the average person. Even on holiday in France recently I didn't feel exactly massive, as I am fit and toned and most people have more fat on their middle, even if they have thinner legs.

Now I'm a size 10, and in most clothing, a "small" (a clue!) I definitely feel slim in comparison to most of the UK. I'd probably feel quite short in some parts of Europe though, and tall and rather solid in other parts of the world, as I'm still only just normal BMI.

You aren't midsized. It's daft to pretend you are.

Yes, it is the actual standard for the country. Which was sized up one size about 20 years ago after all the heroine chic bullshit and to reflect the gain weight in the overall population.
A 10 size now is a 40. It just to be a 42-12
Fashion is a business, if they have to call a size 20 small or a 8 xtra large they will do to sell more clothes.