Page 30 | AIBU to be furious?

havasack · 2025-12-05T07:35:11+00:00

On Thursdays I meet my childminder at the school gates to hand over my 1 year old while I’m picking up my 6 year old. We had a brief chat and then she said (in front of a few other people) she’d seen we’d been away at the weekend and that ‘maybe I should pay my childcare bill before I book holidays’. Three people turned around and I was bright red in the face. How unprofessional! For context - payment was due Monday and she’s sent me no reminders which she usually does after 2/3 days then I always pay! I’ve never not paid. I’m thinking of transferring to a nursery as there may be more professional boundaries in place. She should not have mentioned that in front of others. AIBU?

Marchitectmummy · 06/12/2025 01:34

I don't blame her you deserve public exposure for not paying on time consistently. When she sends the invoice set up a payment it's not hard.

Would you like to be paid random days for your work? Your post is so dismissive, I would feel such embarrassment not paying anyone on time.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 06/12/2025 01:39

Presumably it's always the first Monday of the month. Or the first of the month.

So set up a damn DD and stop making her chase you. Stop complaining she charged a late fee because you're too damn lazy to pay her.

SnoopyPajamas · 06/12/2025 01:57

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

"A few months ago" - so, this dicking about from you isn't new then?

"She threatened to suspend care" - you mean, stop working for free? You pay for her care. You don't pay, you don't get it. Pretty simple, really

"She introduced a £10 a day late fee" - she probably couldn't pay her bills on time when she failed to receive the income she was relying on from you. For which she probably had to pay a late payment fee herself. You do realise this? That your inability to get it together is costing her money and time? Is it that hard to set up a recurring payment? You were able to organise your weekend away just fine.

"She's had at least £100 from me that she hasn't earned at all" - she earned it. You paid it to compensate her for every day you disrespected and inconvenienced her. Your attitude is embarrassing.

As is the fact that you were happy to treat this woman poorly in private, but the minute she mentions it in public you're coming for her head. You should have been embarrassed by your behaviour, not by what other people might think of it. You owe this woman an apology, and a serious revision of your attitude.

kαλοκαλοκαιρι · 06/12/2025 02:03

do you walk out of shops without paying unless you get a reminder from staff when you’re midway down the frozen aisle? routinely get away with settling up with restaurants when you feel like it?
course you fucking dont. why are you treating the person you trust with the most important thing in your life like shit?

she’s fed up with you because your behaviour is unreasonable and the fact she said it in the way she did shows that on balance she’s not worried about losing you as a customer over it.

RawBloomers · 06/12/2025 02:05

It was unprofessional to have mentioned it in other people’s hearing. She was unreasonable to do that. I don’t have a lot of sympathy for you, though. Sound’s like you’re constantly late, she’s had to talk to you about it before and you’re still late. That’s very unreasonable of you.

Sweetpea333 · 06/12/2025 02:17

God you're horrendous! Stop making excuses and admit that you're shit at paying on time. You clearly resent paying. Does your mortgage get 'lost in the pile'? Bitching about her affording a holiday is a bit rich! Should you not pay her because she can afford a holiday? Batshit.

MikeRafone · 06/12/2025 03:24

havasack · 05/12/2025 20:52

So to answer a few questions, I did pay late a few times, I always remember once she sends a reminder out and I have paid on time the last few months.

This is just a busy time of year and it slipped my mind, she sends invoices out ten days before they’re due so goes to the back of the pile.
she’s certainly not struggling for money, she’s just booked a holiday for Florida for Easter and is taking 2 weeks off.
I understand it’s my fault for paying late but a text to remind me wouldn’t be hard would it.

do you want her to remind you to wipe your own backside? Or can you possibly take responsibility for that?

you get the invoice, pay it on the day you get it

you are an adult, not someone else’s responsibility to be reminding you of stuff

Morecoombe · 06/12/2025 03:35

YABU to not pay her on time not a few days late! . It’s embarrassing for her to have to chase you . .Set up a standing order if you can’t remember & need to be reminded by her!

SpidersAreShitheads · 06/12/2025 03:59

havasack · 05/12/2025 20:52

So to answer a few questions, I did pay late a few times, I always remember once she sends a reminder out and I have paid on time the last few months.

This is just a busy time of year and it slipped my mind, she sends invoices out ten days before they’re due so goes to the back of the pile.
she’s certainly not struggling for money, she’s just booked a holiday for Florida for Easter and is taking 2 weeks off.
I understand it’s my fault for paying late but a text to remind me wouldn’t be hard would it.

What date in the month do you get paid by your employer OP?

Lets say you get paid on the 1st of the month.

How would you feel if you hadn’t been paid by the 5th of the month? Repeatedly? Do you think you should have to text your employer to remind them to pay you?

Would you think that as you’ve had a holiday recently it would be fair enough if they paid you late because you’re obviously not desperate for the money?

Can you imagine getting so pissed off with your employer repeatedly not paying you on time you threatened to stop working - and yet they STILL carried on paying you late? And you had to remind them each time?

I think you’d be rightfully upset.

You are being so unreasonable here it’s not even possible to put it into words.

Your childminder shouldn’t have to chase you for money that you owe. Not even once, let alone repeatedly.

The fact that she had a holiday is irrelevant, it’s still not fair to pay her invoices late.

She’s had to send you reminders on several occasions and has even threatened to suspend her services and yet you’re still late paying her. No bloody wonder she shamed you publicly. Her comment wasn’t very professional but dear god you deserve it.

BeFastDreamer · 06/12/2025 04:45

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:39

She threatened to suspend care a few months ago and then she added a £10 a day late fee. So she’s had at least an extra £100 from me that she hasn’t earned at all.

Can you not see what’s wrong with this? You are choosing to pay her late, this is her livelihood. What if she was unable to pay her bills because of your incompetence? No she shouldn’t have said something infront of other people however there is absolutely no excuse for regularly paying her late for money you OWE her.

RaisinRainbow · 06/12/2025 05:30

You are being a CF. It's quite simple.

Randomlygeneratedname · 06/12/2025 05:51

I don't understand why you don't just pay it when the invoice comes in. You don't need reminders etc, it shouldn't matter if you pay early as the invoice date is 'due by' not 'due on'. I just pay mine the second I see the email.

pollyglot · 06/12/2025 06:00

I seem to remember this precise scenario some time ago...

Glittertwins · 06/12/2025 07:34

RaisinRainbow · 06/12/2025 05:30

You are being a CF. It's quite simple.

Absolutely this. You have received a service, pay promptly.

Zempy · 06/12/2025 07:38

So OP, you know when people post on mumsnet about dreadful cheeky fuckers with no self awareness or shame?

That’s you that is!

Barnbrack · 06/12/2025 07:44

havasack · 05/12/2025 20:52

So to answer a few questions, I did pay late a few times, I always remember once she sends a reminder out and I have paid on time the last few months.

This is just a busy time of year and it slipped my mind, she sends invoices out ten days before they’re due so goes to the back of the pile.
she’s certainly not struggling for money, she’s just booked a holiday for Florida for Easter and is taking 2 weeks off.
I understand it’s my fault for paying late but a text to remind me wouldn’t be hard would it.

Set a phone reminder. It's that simple. Stop blaming her you are the problem

Whatwerewetalkingabout · 06/12/2025 07:56

"Only by a few days. She’s acting like it’s weeks"

All of my direct debit are set to come out the 1st of the month, my employer pays me the end of the month. If my employer failed to pay me on time, even by days, I would be completely fucked and be constantly in my overdraft accumulating unarranged overdraft fees! YABVVVVU.

Permanentlytiredout47 · 06/12/2025 08:21

It’s not hard, but you are missing the point entirely, she shouldn’t have to. Imagine if you had to remind your employer to pay you every month, that would be completely out of order.
It is also a regular monthly bill I assume, so not sure why you would even need reminding!
Like everyone else, she will have bills that need paying.
As for not needing the money as she’s booked a holiday, that comment has just pushed you into a whole new level of BU. She works to earn money, which she is rightfully entitled to on time, how she spends it is completely irrelevant.

opencecilgee · 06/12/2025 08:25

You have paid late a few times?

that is totally unacceptable.

its your childcare! Surely the most important thing to
remember. your one year olds care

sort your life out!!!

opencecilgee · 06/12/2025 08:26

YAB utterly U

Heyheyitsanotherday · 06/12/2025 08:56

I can see both sides here. She was rude and unprofessional however, she was probably pissed off as shouldn’t have to chase you for payment. You really need to set up a standing order or direct debit to pay on time. That said, we changed to a nursery as couldn’t find a childminder near us that felt right. You need to do what you need to do.

SALaw · 06/12/2025 08:59

havasack · 05/12/2025 20:52

So to answer a few questions, I did pay late a few times, I always remember once she sends a reminder out and I have paid on time the last few months.

This is just a busy time of year and it slipped my mind, she sends invoices out ten days before they’re due so goes to the back of the pile.
she’s certainly not struggling for money, she’s just booked a holiday for Florida for Easter and is taking 2 weeks off.
I understand it’s my fault for paying late but a text to remind me wouldn’t be hard would it.

But it’s a busy time for her too? Why should she be chasing you up? And by the way I bet her method of chasing is way nicer than you’d get if you paid a nursery late…

JasperHale · 06/12/2025 09:16

It's none of your business if she's got money or not, or if she's going to Florida, or wallpaper her toilet with it. Maybe she should start looking after your child just few days later. End of the day, it's not a big deal.

YourOliveBalonz · 06/12/2025 09:22

I’m surprised you felt embarrassed when she raised your non-payment in public, given you appear to be completely shameless!

You also expect her to act ‘professionally’ but you are not treating her like a professional.

I can’t imagine thinking an invoice sent 10 days in advance is somehow a hinderance! Please move your child to a nursery, I really look forward to hearing about how you get on 😂

DaisyChain505 · 06/12/2025 09:36

havasack · 05/12/2025 20:52

So to answer a few questions, I did pay late a few times, I always remember once she sends a reminder out and I have paid on time the last few months.

This is just a busy time of year and it slipped my mind, she sends invoices out ten days before they’re due so goes to the back of the pile.
she’s certainly not struggling for money, she’s just booked a holiday for Florida for Easter and is taking 2 weeks off.
I understand it’s my fault for paying late but a text to remind me wouldn’t be hard would it.

excuses excuses. She can go on as many holidays as she likes. You are paying for a service from her, nothing gives you the right to think it’s acceptable not to pay her on time.

You get the invoice, you pay it.

Don’t be so entitled.

I think you’d have something to say if you were constantly paid late by your work.