Page 31 | AIBU to be furious?

havasack · 2025-12-05T07:35:11+00:00

On Thursdays I meet my childminder at the school gates to hand over my 1 year old while I’m picking up my 6 year old. We had a brief chat and then she said (in front of a few other people) she’d seen we’d been away at the weekend and that ‘maybe I should pay my childcare bill before I book holidays’. Three people turned around and I was bright red in the face. How unprofessional! For context - payment was due Monday and she’s sent me no reminders which she usually does after 2/3 days then I always pay! I’ve never not paid. I’m thinking of transferring to a nursery as there may be more professional boundaries in place. She should not have mentioned that in front of others. AIBU?

Rosscameasdoody · 06/12/2025 09:42

havasack · 05/12/2025 20:52

So to answer a few questions, I did pay late a few times, I always remember once she sends a reminder out and I have paid on time the last few months.

This is just a busy time of year and it slipped my mind, she sends invoices out ten days before they’re due so goes to the back of the pile.
she’s certainly not struggling for money, she’s just booked a holiday for Florida for Easter and is taking 2 weeks off.
I understand it’s my fault for paying late but a text to remind me wouldn’t be hard would it.

So she sends out the invoices ten days in advance and you still don’t manage to pay on time unless she sends you a reminder ? The answer is easy OP. Don’t put the invoices to the back of the pile, pay them when you get them and then you’re up to date aren’t you. Basically every time you pay late you’re telling her that her services aren’t a priority to you. Whether she’s struggling for money or not isn’t the point, she’s providing an important service for which you appear to have little or no respect. The entitlement is breathtaking and you don’t seem to be aware of what a CF you are.

MissDoubleU · 06/12/2025 09:45

havasack · 05/12/2025 20:52

So to answer a few questions, I did pay late a few times, I always remember once she sends a reminder out and I have paid on time the last few months.

This is just a busy time of year and it slipped my mind, she sends invoices out ten days before they’re due so goes to the back of the pile.
she’s certainly not struggling for money, she’s just booked a holiday for Florida for Easter and is taking 2 weeks off.
I understand it’s my fault for paying late but a text to remind me wouldn’t be hard would it.

But she has already sent you an invoice to remind you it needs doing. It’s your responsibility to remember you need to pay. Imagine you had to repeatedly chase up your work to give you the money you earned. I think she was right to remind you in person, even if others overheard it.

The fact you felt shame proves you were in the wrong. You know what you’re doing is embarrassing and didn’t want others to hear it. So simply, stop doing it. Take some responsibility for yourself and pay people for their services when you have agreed to pay them.

SunnyViper · 06/12/2025 09:50

havasack · 05/12/2025 20:52

So to answer a few questions, I did pay late a few times, I always remember once she sends a reminder out and I have paid on time the last few months.

This is just a busy time of year and it slipped my mind, she sends invoices out ten days before they’re due so goes to the back of the pile.
she’s certainly not struggling for money, she’s just booked a holiday for Florida for Easter and is taking 2 weeks off.
I understand it’s my fault for paying late but a text to remind me wouldn’t be hard would it.

It’s extra work for her that is generated by your lazy selfishness. She needs to get rid of you as you are a nightmare client.

Londongent · 06/12/2025 09:53

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:37

Only by a few days. She’s acting like it’s weeks.

Why is it any days late?

Intrigued20 · 06/12/2025 10:46

Just wow. No words.

Allthegoodhorses · 06/12/2025 10:57

You have to assume in these circumstances that this is just a joke thread aimed at being goady etc. The sheer entitlement is absolutely breathtaking. Surely no-one in the real world would behave like this or think it was acceptable.

As many have pointed out if the OP was paid late by her employer that would not be acceptable. Can you imagine the accounts department saying to employees that they should have sent them a reminder?

Phelicity · 06/12/2025 11:20

If I were your childminder I’d have given you my notice ages ago. She sounds reliable and efficient, & you’re obviously satisfied with her care for your child - you’re lucky to have her. Threat her with more respect or you’ll lose her.

Phelicity · 06/12/2025 11:30

….and I think you should give her an apology and a pay-rise.

Futurehappiness · 06/12/2025 11:38

Your attitude is absolutely disgusting OP. I had a feeling that you would either not come back to this thread at all (which would have been better as at least it would have indicated you might be ashamed) or that you would choose the worst option and double down, which indeed you have. It was always vanishingly unlikely that you would accept what people are telling you on here.

'She's affluent/have booked a fortnight in Florida/can afford to wait to be paid at my convenience' ; how dare you? Her circumstances are none of your business. Just pay her.

I think now the CM was thoroughly justified in what she said as your attitude is maddening so must have maddened her. I think she probably said it in the hope you would flounce so she could give your place to a reliable and considerate parent's child instead.

BunnyLake · 06/12/2025 12:08

havasack · 05/12/2025 20:52

So to answer a few questions, I did pay late a few times, I always remember once she sends a reminder out and I have paid on time the last few months.

This is just a busy time of year and it slipped my mind, she sends invoices out ten days before they’re due so goes to the back of the pile.
she’s certainly not struggling for money, she’s just booked a holiday for Florida for Easter and is taking 2 weeks off.
I understand it’s my fault for paying late but a text to remind me wouldn’t be hard would it.

Dear god you are so entitled it’s embarrassing. Your last sentence would be enough to drop you like a hot brick. If you think it’s not hard for her to send you yet another prompt to pay why are you so incapable of putting a reminder for yourself in your phone? I mean that’s not hard is it!

BunnyLake · 06/12/2025 12:13

Allthegoodhorses · 06/12/2025 10:57

You have to assume in these circumstances that this is just a joke thread aimed at being goady etc. The sheer entitlement is absolutely breathtaking. Surely no-one in the real world would behave like this or think it was acceptable.

As many have pointed out if the OP was paid late by her employer that would not be acceptable. Can you imagine the accounts department saying to employees that they should have sent them a reminder?

I’m wondering that. The attitude from the OP is too stupid. So it’s either deliberately goady and fake or OP really is a hugely entitled and moronic employer.

Musicaltheatremum · 06/12/2025 12:35

You can set your banking app to pay out on a particular day. So the invoice arrives on 21st payment due 31st you set up the payment there and then to pay sometime over the next 10 days. Easy.
I do all my dad's payments as his poa. I keep a diary of when his cleaner and chiropodist/gardener and hairdresser is coming and paying them on the day or if I am going to be away I set it up in advance.
I hate having outstanding bills. We have been chasing a decorator to send us his bill for 2 months! We have to keep the money aside so want rid of it.

Sunshineismyfavourite · 06/12/2025 13:23

Like everyone has said. Just pay her on time, every time. I'm sure you or your DH would be pissed off if you had to send your employer a reminder to pay you a week past pay day.

YABU and nothing will change that!

Futurehappiness · 06/12/2025 15:35

Musicaltheatremum · 06/12/2025 12:35

You can set your banking app to pay out on a particular day. So the invoice arrives on 21st payment due 31st you set up the payment there and then to pay sometime over the next 10 days. Easy.
I do all my dad's payments as his poa. I keep a diary of when his cleaner and chiropodist/gardener and hairdresser is coming and paying them on the day or if I am going to be away I set it up in advance.
I hate having outstanding bills. We have been chasing a decorator to send us his bill for 2 months! We have to keep the money aside so want rid of it.

Exactly. I like to get bills paid as soon as they are sent, so that they are out of the way. Regular ones are handled via DD with our bank.

We have a carer for my DS at weekends, she has barely left the house on Sunday pm before we are paying her. I just would not dream of jeopardising the mutually relationship we have with her (which benefits my DS). We know that good carers are like gold dust.

TwistedWonder · 06/12/2025 16:32

Musicaltheatremum · 06/12/2025 12:35

You can set your banking app to pay out on a particular day. So the invoice arrives on 21st payment due 31st you set up the payment there and then to pay sometime over the next 10 days. Easy.
I do all my dad's payments as his poa. I keep a diary of when his cleaner and chiropodist/gardener and hairdresser is coming and paying them on the day or if I am going to be away I set it up in advance.
I hate having outstanding bills. We have been chasing a decorator to send us his bill for 2 months! We have to keep the money aside so want rid of it.

Absolutely. As soon as I get a bill through I set up a future dated payment via my banking app so I know it’s dealt with.

It’s hardly like online banking is some new fangled witchcraft that’s difficult to use.

GaIadriel · 06/12/2025 16:34

havasack · 05/12/2025 20:52

So to answer a few questions, I did pay late a few times, I always remember once she sends a reminder out and I have paid on time the last few months.

This is just a busy time of year and it slipped my mind, she sends invoices out ten days before they’re due so goes to the back of the pile.
she’s certainly not struggling for money, she’s just booked a holiday for Florida for Easter and is taking 2 weeks off.
I understand it’s my fault for paying late but a text to remind me wouldn’t be hard would it.

Would you be OK with her forgetting when she's booked to look after your kid? If you had to remind her every time.

TwistedWonder · 06/12/2025 16:36

Anyone getting flashbacks to the thread about changing her therapist because she kept forgetting tp pay and blamed the therapist for not chasing her up

snoopythebeagle · 06/12/2025 16:39

Pay your fucking bills. It's not hard, is it?

missmollygreen · 06/12/2025 17:04

havasack · 05/12/2025 07:37

Only by a few days. She’s acting like it’s weeks.

Would you complain if your employer kept paying you late?

Imanexcellentdrivercharliebabbit · 06/12/2025 19:54

NooNooHead · 05/12/2025 23:17

This is a great reply, made me chuckle! 😂

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So funny isn’t it - how can someone lack so much self awareness lol!! Xx

Imanexcellentdrivercharliebabbit · 06/12/2025 19:57

’Dear Op
it’s such a busy time of year I forgot to look after your child/pick them up /feed them/ change their nappy/ get them out the back of the car
I only forgot for 7 hours no biggy - could you in future please remind me of my duties as Ive got alot on what with Florida etc

Imanexcellentdrivercharliebabbit · 06/12/2025 19:59

BunnyLake · 06/12/2025 12:13

I’m wondering that. The attitude from the OP is too stupid. So it’s either deliberately goady and fake or OP really is a hugely entitled and moronic employer.

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Course it’s a wind up lol
either that or we have another contender in the last week for bellend of the month ( alongside the mum who thinks it’s fine for her child to watch their iPad in public spaces without headphones

utter knobbers!

Marosanne · 06/12/2025 20:10

NOT A BIG DEAL

EFB2025 · 06/12/2025 20:11

That was extremely unprofessional of her, but you should also pay her on time. I'm sure you wouldn't be impressed, if your wages weren't in the bank on time?!

BartholemewTheCat · 06/12/2025 20:15

Nah, you had that coming frankly.