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AIBU?

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Original poster

FiL crawling round on work video call

306 replies

RuralStyleless · 04/12/2025 21:30

drunk leonardo dicaprio GIF

Am I being over-sensitive here?
I was on a video call this morning when my 73yo FIL came to get some things from the room. I realised, muted, said I was on a call and assumed he would wait until I said I was free. A minute later, I realise he has come inside and is crawling around trying not to be seen (he absolutely would have been seen). It was an external call, so not even colleagues I could laugh it off with). I'm absolutely livid.

For context, my study / home office is used as our guest room. This is not normally an issue. I had also warned him I was starting work and had to be on video calls 30 minutes earlier.

YABU - he is old, doesn't get tech, and no one said anything
YANBU - what sort of idiot does that?

OP posts:
InSpainTheRain · 04/12/2025 21:34

I would be very annoyed especially for an external call. Door lock maybe?

AutumnAllTheWay · 04/12/2025 21:35

What?

Pollqueen · 04/12/2025 21:36

That's actually quite funny. What was it he needed to get? And, are you living in his house?

SpaceRaccoon · 04/12/2025 21:37

Honestly it's a bit of an odd set up to be working in the room your guests are currently residing in.

HonoriaBulstrode · 04/12/2025 21:37

For context, my study / home office is used as our guest room.

Do you mean he is currently a guest, staying in your guest room?

swingingbytheseat · 04/12/2025 21:38

Sounds really irritating, get a lock for the door

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 04/12/2025 21:39

I’m sorry OP, I had to laugh at the image of him commando crawling behind you while you tried to be serious at work. I would in reality be quite annoyed at him but I think it will be funny in time

Bagsintheboot · 04/12/2025 21:39

Oh this is like my mother. Knocking on door going "are you working"?

No I'm just sat in the study with the door shut at 10.30am on a weekday morning because I'm wrapping Christmas presents. Of course I'm bloody working!

TheChosenTwo · 04/12/2025 21:40

It was quite funny to read about but I imagine in your position I’d have been quite miffed!
is he staying as a guest in your office/spare room? And what was he retrieving?

Downplayit · 04/12/2025 21:40

I remember in the first days of covid meeting with someone very important and senior in a big organisation and seeing his wife crawl in behind him to reach some shoes or something. It was very funny but also never mentioned. Gone are those days when you had to pretend that if you were wfh you had no family. Its all pretty acceptable now to see life going on behind the video call. Thats why most people will just assume your fil is long-retired and will find it amusing. I wouldn't take it too seriously.

cariadlet · 04/12/2025 21:40

I get that would be embarrassing but working out of the guest room when you have a guest staying with you doesn't make any sense. Poor FIL is shut out of "his" room when you're trying to WFH.

I don't see why you can't take your laptop into your own bedroom if you have to make a work call while he's with you.

kiwiane · 04/12/2025 21:41

Lock the door or just don’t let them visit when you’re working.

Original poster
RuralStyleless · 04/12/2025 21:41

HonoriaBulstrode · 04/12/2025 21:37

For context, my study / home office is used as our guest room.

Do you mean he is currently a guest, staying in your guest room?

Yes, he is a guest for a week. 80% of the time, no guest, so my office but we have a put-up bed in there for when we have guests and our sons is also home. All our other guests are very considerate in my office and take what they need for the day out before I start work or check before they come in.

OP posts:
shootingstar001 · 04/12/2025 21:42

HonoriaBulstrode · 04/12/2025 21:37

For context, my study / home office is used as our guest room.

Do you mean he is currently a guest, staying in your guest room?

I guess since she works at home then at roughly at least 90% of the time it’s actually an office with she is generous enough to let guests stay in. Silly to call it a guest room if that it not it’s not the primary function. Very old fashioned.

Original poster
RuralStyleless · 04/12/2025 21:43

cariadlet · 04/12/2025 21:40

I get that would be embarrassing but working out of the guest room when you have a guest staying with you doesn't make any sense. Poor FIL is shut out of "his" room when you're trying to WFH.

I don't see why you can't take your laptop into your own bedroom if you have to make a work call while he's with you.

I have everything set up in there. It is primarily my office. There's an entire rest of the house he can use (and keep day things in). And it's not like he can't come in at all when I work, just when I'm on a video call.

OP posts:
StrawberrySquash · 04/12/2025 21:44

cariadlet · 04/12/2025 21:40

I get that would be embarrassing but working out of the guest room when you have a guest staying with you doesn't make any sense. Poor FIL is shut out of "his" room when you're trying to WFH.

I don't see why you can't take your laptop into your own bedroom if you have to make a work call while he's with you.

If I were staying in a friend's spare room office and they were working during the day, I think it would be perfectly reasonable that that wasn't my room during the day. Same way if a guest sleeps on the sofa we all use the living room as a living room.

SconehengeRevenge · 04/12/2025 21:45

I feel you are a bad host.

Sorry

cariadlet · 04/12/2025 21:46

shootingstar001 · 04/12/2025 21:42

I guess since she works at home then at roughly at least 90% of the time it’s actually an office with she is generous enough to let guests stay in. Silly to call it a guest room if that it not it’s not the primary function. Very old fashioned.

Show quote history

I don't know that it is very generous. If you don't have a spare room/guest room, only a put up bed in the office, then a decent host would make an extra effort to make the guest feel welcome while they're staying.

Trying to carry on working there in the way that you would when nobody is staying so that guests feel awkward interrupting to get something that they want/need is the very opposite of being welcoming.

InterestedDad37 · 04/12/2025 21:46

I know 50 yr olds who'd do the same, and 80 yr olds who absolutely wouldn't. I don't see it as 'excusable cos he's old and doesn't understand', I see it is 'a bit thick, really' 👍

Wolfpa · 04/12/2025 21:46

So you kick people out of their room each day when they stay over?

that doesn’t seem like a workable situation. Maybe when people stay over you can have a temporary office in your own room?

you could also pop a background on so no one sees what is going on.

Puppalicious · 04/12/2025 21:46

These days it’s surely not unreasonable to have a home office doubling up as a guest room. My guests all know they may have to vacate the room by 9am on a working day! I guess if they don’t like it they dont have to visit?

ExperiencedContractor · 04/12/2025 21:46

It’s incredibly irritating, I agree. But my office is also my guest bedroom. When I have a guest, I temporarily move my computer into my own bedroom (and blur the background for calls) so that I can give the guest full access to a private space.

Original poster
RuralStyleless · 04/12/2025 21:47

Pollqueen · 04/12/2025 21:36

That's actually quite funny. What was it he needed to get? And, are you living in his house?

No he's in mine. I think he was getting a different pair of trousers, but was too scared to look and actually figure it out.

OP posts:
SpaceRaccoon · 04/12/2025 21:47

I wouldn't visit anywhere where I didn't have my own space.

Bruisername · 04/12/2025 21:48

Yes I feel you are a bad host! Is it a double bed in the guest room? I would give fil your bedroom and you and DH use the study.

My fil needs an afternoon nap and I wouldn’t want him on the sofa as it would leave him with aches

just doesn’t feel very welcoming to only give a guest staying for a week privacy at night only