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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

FiL crawling round on work video call

306 replies

RuralStyleless · 04/12/2025 21:30

drunk leonardo dicaprio GIF

Am I being over-sensitive here?
I was on a video call this morning when my 73yo FIL came to get some things from the room. I realised, muted, said I was on a call and assumed he would wait until I said I was free. A minute later, I realise he has come inside and is crawling around trying not to be seen (he absolutely would have been seen). It was an external call, so not even colleagues I could laugh it off with). I'm absolutely livid.

For context, my study / home office is used as our guest room. This is not normally an issue. I had also warned him I was starting work and had to be on video calls 30 minutes earlier.

YABU - he is old, doesn't get tech, and no one said anything
YANBU - what sort of idiot does that?

OP posts:
Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 04/12/2025 21:48

Sounds like he's not the only one who 'doesn't get tech' - put a background on your Teams. Nobody wants to see your spare room.

MichelleMonBelle · 04/12/2025 21:49

SpaceRaccoon · 04/12/2025 21:37

Honestly it's a bit of an odd set up to be working in the room your guests are currently residing in.

yep. YABU and rude to suggest the BU is due to him not understanding tech.

if you don’t have a separate work space that’s a YOU problem not a FIL problem.

Pollqueen · 04/12/2025 21:49

OK, NBU if he had ample warning you'd be on a call. Still quite funny though.

Reminds me of the guy being interviewed live on tv about N Korea during Covid when his kids wandered in and then his wife crawling across the floor to pull out kid in the walker. So, could be worse 🤷‍♀️

Bruisername · 04/12/2025 21:50

Agree you should sort your background out or at least blur it

also find it’s not very friendly to make a guest get up and out and remember all their stuff by 9 either!

cariadlet · 04/12/2025 21:50

ExperiencedContractor · 04/12/2025 21:46

It’s incredibly irritating, I agree. But my office is also my guest bedroom. When I have a guest, I temporarily move my computer into my own bedroom (and blur the background for calls) so that I can give the guest full access to a private space.

I think that's a really thoughtful thing to do. If you like someone enough to want them to stay with you, then you sometimes need to put yourself out a bit in order to make them feel comfortable and welcome as a guest.

Shutuptrevor · 04/12/2025 21:52

I think you need a different solution when guests stay.

ButterflySky · 04/12/2025 21:52

Ok. Just for a second, I thought that you'd put a video up, of your FIL crawling around... Until I spotted the car. That's properly given me the giggles, sorryGrin

beAsensible1 · 04/12/2025 21:54

So if he forgets his belt and you’re in a meeting for the next hour and he needs to go out, what would you expect him to do?

just put a background on. He was being a bit silly but if someone is sleeping in a room they may need re-entry during the day. I doubt it was on purpose.

Ponderingwindow · 04/12/2025 21:55

People can stay in a hotel if they don’t want to share the guest room with its main office designation.

Bobiverse · 04/12/2025 21:55

Why don’t you have the background blurred? Especially in what is currently a communal room; it might be your office but for right now, it’s his bedroom:

Original poster
RuralStyleless · 04/12/2025 21:56

Update: I am not an idiot. blur my background! But it unblurs when it sees 'people', so I assume he popped in and out. I also turn off self-view, so don't know quite what was shown.

OP posts:
mumofoneAloneandwell · 04/12/2025 21:58
george hamilton news GIF

The first image that popped into my head was 😭

ChaChaChaChanges · 04/12/2025 21:59

SconehengeRevenge · 04/12/2025 21:45

I feel you are a bad host.

Sorry

Me too.

Pollqueen · 04/12/2025 22:02

Bruisername · 04/12/2025 21:50

Agree you should sort your background out or at least blur it

also find it’s not very friendly to make a guest get up and out and remember all their stuff by 9 either!

Anyone on camera can still be seen though. You would just see FIL, behind OP crawling across the floor with a blurry background

CookieCrumbles23 · 04/12/2025 22:02
Bbc Oops GIF by My.Aegean.gr team

I’m sorry OP, I know this was very frustrating for you, but it actually made me LOL. Just the thought of your FIL thinking crawling on the floor was the solution and probably visible to everyone on the call 😂

Bruisername · 04/12/2025 22:03

Pollqueen · 04/12/2025 22:02

Anyone on camera can still be seen though. You would just see FIL, behind OP crawling across the floor with a blurry background

Show quote history

I know it can do that but realistically OP would have been taking up most of the screen

i love the clip with the little girl dancing her way in!

swingingbytheseat · 04/12/2025 22:05

RuralStyleless · 04/12/2025 21:56

Update: I am not an idiot. blur my background! But it unblurs when it sees 'people', so I assume he popped in and out. I also turn off self-view, so don't know quite what was shown.

🤣 I’d have had to put self view on

BunnyLake · 04/12/2025 22:08

Pollqueen · 04/12/2025 21:36

That's actually quite funny. What was it he needed to get? And, are you living in his house?

I thought it was funny, but I like a sense of the absurd. 😁🤷‍♀️

Not very nice for your fil for his room to be out of bounds while he’s there.

Whatyoutalkingabouteh · 04/12/2025 22:08

I can sympathise- my husband did this to me and I could see him crawling I was mortified! I was mid talking and I couldn’t think straight!

PigletJohn · 04/12/2025 22:08

"Assumed," you say.

BunnyLake · 04/12/2025 22:10

CookieCrumbles23 · 04/12/2025 22:02

I’m sorry OP, I know this was very frustrating for you, but it actually made me LOL. Just the thought of your FIL thinking crawling on the floor was the solution and probably visible to everyone on the call 😂

My immediate thought was that video 😂

user1492757084 · 04/12/2025 22:12

Rethink who is staying in the office/guest room. Make it one of your sons.
Give 73 year old FIL a room where he can retreat to - to lie down, to change his clothes, to be an older person in his private space. It is one week.
A young person is best as the office guest.

Heronwatcher · 04/12/2025 22:16

Could you not have just turned your camera off for 2 mins? You could have continued speaking once you’ve warned him to be quiet on mute.

If I need to do this I will, I just say the connection is patchy.

I think life’s a bit too short to be precious about this and he was, after all, staying in that room.

Pollqueen · 04/12/2025 22:18

PigletJohn · 04/12/2025 22:08

"Assumed," you say.

"Assumed," who said?

UneFoisAuChalet · 04/12/2025 22:19

CookieCrumbles23 · 04/12/2025 22:02

I’m sorry OP, I know this was very frustrating for you, but it actually made me LOL. Just the thought of your FIL thinking crawling on the floor was the solution and probably visible to everyone on the call 😂

All these years later and I still laugh whenever I see this lockdown clip. The little girl doing her dance, dad trying to brush her away, the baby shuffling in on his walker, the mum bursting in and crouching low, grabbing the doorknob, thinking she’d got away with it. The best viral video ever