FiL crawling round on work video call

[RuralStyleless]

Am I being over-sensitive here?
I was on a video call this morning when my 73yo FIL came to get some things from the room. I realised, muted, said I was on a call and assumed he would wait until I said I was free. A minute later, I realise he has come inside and is crawling around trying not to be seen (he absolutely would have been seen). It was an external call, so not even colleagues I could laugh it off with). I'm absolutely livid.

For context, my study / home office is used as our guest room. This is not normally an issue. I had also warned him I was starting work and had to be on video calls 30 minutes earlier.

YABU - he is old, doesn't get tech, and no one said anything
YANBU - what sort of idiot does that?

He's 73, that's hardly old and while he's staying there you are in his living space. I definitely wouldn't want to be staying somewhere that my room was being used by someone else and my belongings being there.

Hilarious. Why don’t you have a background on?

He's crawling to a car outside your house? Is he injured?

Yadbu. Find a different room and blur

There absolutely is. We have an otherwise large house, comfy living room, plenty of space to leave things. Separate guest bathroom. And it really isn't no entry all day - just patches while I am on video calls, especially external ones.

Neither my mum or MIL, our only other guests who might stay for more than a night or two, ever have an issue with the set up.

I voted YANBU but when I realised you were using the room he was staying in to work from I changed it. YABU, if you have guests you should have taken your laptop into your own bedroom.

Just put a background in for your calls. We almost always do this.

He's known me 25 years! Hardly like we are strangers

Just because other guests might not complain about the set up, it doesn't mean that they like it. If you've got a large house, then it's considerate to give guests a space that they can consider their space while they are staying with you.

I would be annoyed too if someone did this if I was on an important work call. It just seems so selfish somehow of the guest. BUT your guest hosting set up isn’t nice for the guest either. Could your work stuff be moved into your own bedroom while hosting, or decline to host on your working days.

Yeah this is the process I went through. Don't kick a guest out of their room!

Reminds me of a story from a friend working from home delivering training in the spare bedroom where her DH kept his clothes. He came in and stripped half naked getting changed (visible to her but not on camera!)

YANBU. Maybe guests should stay in a hotel as you don’t really have a guest room as the primary function is a home office.

It's large but open plan outside my office. Hence the office. If anything, it would be more disturbing to guests to go elsewhere as the entire kitchen, living room, dining room etc would be hard to use.

And in laws / parents are close family, I'm not running around after them (and vice versa when we visit). It's not like they are friends or distant family I'd be taking time off to see.

Amazed people think our entire lives should be rearranged for my hubbys dad!

Sorry OP but this is just hilarious. I understand how stressful it was for you but come on surely how clueless he is and the effort he went to crawling etc could get just a little smile from you?

This is one of those things in time to come you're going to look back on a and smile. He obviously cares a lot about you and respects your work that he didn't barge in past and dismiss you, at 73 he decided to crawl in an attempt not to be a nuisance.

Work is great to have and important but no matter what we're all only a number there, family are the only ones who'll crawl on the floor for us 😂

It’s hardly rearranging your lives to move your set up or swap bedrooms for a week

why bother having guests if you expect them to just slot in with you. My mil can be like that and it’s exhausting having to do this and that so her life can run as normal

This. I would not feel comfortable.

Thanks. Perfect, useful response

Where does OP say FiL wasn't wearing underwear?

I love this!

I have a similar set up, my home office is in my guest room.

My sister and her partner are staying in the new year while I will have to work, so I’ll let them have my room and I’ll sleep in here, so I don’t have to kick them out in the morning to start work.

Sorry but that’s such a miserable response to a lovely warm reply.

But surely that’s the point - “stay over”. Short for overnight. Not providing a room for sole occupancy during the day! In a house there’s usually a sitting room. I’m in team OP.

Put a background filter on. Unless people come really close to the camera you can't see behind.

I know you must have been mortified but this sounds absolutely hilarious! The thought of seeing your FIL crawling around looking for his kecks and knowing he thought he was being discreet and reasonable... Its just too funny.

Not sure why you are deemed a bad host for using the office/guest room for its primary purpose as your stable working environment. Its not like he can't use it at all during the day.

A commando is a type of soldier. A commando crawl or army crawl is when you lie on your stomach and pull yourself forward using your arms, dragging your legs behind or sometimes using your toes to help propel yourself forward.