FiL crawling round on work video call

[RuralStyleless]

Am I being over-sensitive here?
I was on a video call this morning when my 73yo FIL came to get some things from the room. I realised, muted, said I was on a call and assumed he would wait until I said I was free. A minute later, I realise he has come inside and is crawling around trying not to be seen (he absolutely would have been seen). It was an external call, so not even colleagues I could laugh it off with). I'm absolutely livid.

For context, my study / home office is used as our guest room. This is not normally an issue. I had also warned him I was starting work and had to be on video calls 30 minutes earlier.

YABU - he is old, doesn't get tech, and no one said anything
YANBU - what sort of idiot does that?

😂

Sounds like my other, she's always surprised when WhatsApp 'works'

@RuralStylelessI have my background blurred but I did laugh at your conundrum!

I get that but not everybody has a home big enough to have a separate office

Honestly, if I was on a work call and saw someone commando crawling around in the background of a colleague’s screen I would find it funny. If it’s a one off, it’s no reflection of your professionalism. The fact that he crawled on the floor shows he did really need the item he was trying to retrieve but did respect the need not to interrupt your call. For what it’s worth, my retired Dad has never had an office/compete based role and completely does not get video calls so would probably do something similar! A few years ago I was on a very important video call and he popped into my office just to say hi and see how my day was going while visiting 🫠

You know not everyone has loads of extra rooms, or indeed a laptop. My home office is my office, I couldn't just move from it because someone might want to walk through it whilst I am working. I don't have a laptop as I don't need to use one.

It makes perfect sense that someone sleeping in someones office should stay out of that office whilst it's being used as an office. OP's not working at a time when he'd normally expect to sleep as far as I can tell!

You're a terrible host. Work somewhere else if people are staying in your guest room, or tell them they can't stay.

This. It’s his room for the duration of his visit.

How strange. When I used Microsoft Teams, the blur background meant people in the background could be seen unless standing directly behind you. Maybe it's different for other platforms 🤷‍♀️ .

I do, however, love the image of your elderly FIL commando rolling his way around

OP needs her office to work so the only solution will be to stop inviting FIL to stay. He obviously lacks boundaries if just ignores her instructions and thinks it is OK for a grown man to interrupt a work call like that.

You could also very easily position the camera so it only shows a wall behind you, not the door. Yes, this is something you could definitely do.

But the bottom line is that you didn't want to take your laptop into your bedroom for once to work from there, and want instead to massively inconvenience your guests. So don't invite anybody to stay.

People getting their knickers in a twist about the bedroom/office situation are ridiculous. I stay at a relative's who has the same set up and have the whole house to use while they're working. Do theses commenters want to pool together and fund your garden office for you?

I any work from a different room as I need three screens so it’s not always possible to just move to another room. My bedroom doesn’t have a desk.

If I was working and MIL was staying she’d have to be booted out. She can’t take our room as it’s on another floor with no bathroom, as she visits the toilet 86 times a night I’d worry about her falling downstairs on one of her trips up and down. Plus our spare bed smells after she sleeps in it . Her house smells damp and so does she and her clothes and anything from the house ( I won’t ever tell her as she’d be mortified and upset).

You can still make out people with a blurred background on teams. On one call I could make out my colleagues partner getting his jacket and heading out the back door, she was in her kitchen. It was blurry but you could see the movement.

Ettiquette meant we didn’t mention it.

seems like a good way to put off a tiresome guest whom you dont want staying anyway,

Like when some neighbour asked if she could use my drive for one of her excess vehicles and I said I would work out a price and let her know.Never asked again.

Not really "thick". Just not au fait with Teams calls. Also, most people put a background on for this very reason. I would assume she had a background on.

If your background is muted and he was crawling on the floor, I very much doubt they saw much. When we are in the office corridor and someone walks past you do get a flash of someone but not clear at all so someone on the floor wouldn’t have been clear at all. You could have excused yourself for 1 min and turned camera off and muted to ask him what he was doing. I’d get a do not enter sign, or better, go to the office when he is staying, especially since his bedroom doubles up as your office meaning he can’t go in (or shouldn’t). Tell him the external colleagues saw him crawling.

😂😂

Oh the trials and tribulations of Working from Home!🙄

Ive only skimmed the responses but wondering if anyone has mentioned the Somerset Gimp yet 😆

That is hilarious and I promise you’ll find it funny one day too. Don’t be too hard on FiL and I’m sure no one on the call minded, we are all allowed to be human! On a practical note, have you thought about adding a Teams background so that no one can see any future SAS moves?!

You need a dedicated office instead of working in the guest room.

This! Sorry you felt awkward and embarrassed… but I’m finding this funny already. Hope you do too, in time.

How is your camera set up to be able to defect someone crawling on the floor?!
even if someone appears on background is it that big a deal? So many people work remotely these days I think people would understand even on an external call if someone popped in and out.

No, it's a YOU problem. Failing to understand that people don't have mansions and houses and people have to be adaptable and rooms sometimes need more than one use for more than one person. Her FIL is a divvy, that's the only issue here.