To stop giving myself a hard time about the amount of TV my toddler is watching?

[wetwinter]

Toddler (2 and a half) is watching too much TV. I know this.

She generally wakes at around 6, and I go downstairs with her so she doesn’t wake anyone else up. And the TV does go on then. It’s dark, cold, I’m tired and not up for much else.

Then I make breakfast and get everyone dressed and out on the school run for older sibling. We then generally do an activity in the morning; a playgroup or swimming. We do get outside if the weather is OK. Then home for lunch. It’s then things get a bit tricky. She has dropped her nap and attempts to encourage ‘quiet time’ haven’t been very successful; she just cries / gets upset in her cot. So she watched TV during and after lunch.

Then after I’ve picked her sister up from school they play for a bit but then at around 4, she’s getting very, very tired and her sister is also wanting to chill out and watch some TV, so on it goes again

I do feel guilty about it and worry a lot I’m impeding her development. It wasn’t too bad when she slept a bit later in the morning and was still napping; it was just a little bit in the morning and then evening. Now though it feels like it’s really creeping up but with the weather being wet and cold and dark early it’s hard finding motivation.

I know there are activities like reading, colouring which we do do but they don’t hold her attention for long at all.

I am wondering whether to just accept it’s winter; the screen time will go up and go down to sensible levels again as the weather improves or to make more of an effort!

Would you? Why?

I don’t think she’s ever watched TV for six hours in a day though. Probably more like around three.

She has one thank you. It’s good for car journeys but she doesn’t really sit and listen to it yet; she takes the cards in and out. It’s a great device but like the Tonie box, definitely something toddlers grow into.

I think two can be a very tricky age with things like this; they aren’t old enough for things like crafts and puzzles but they also aren’t just content to sit back in a pushchair and enjoy their surroundings any more. Three is a bit easier although most definitely comes with it’s own challenges!

We have a no tv on in the morning rule in my house, has always been there so no grumbling. My 5 and 8 year old play toys and listen to music before school. At the weekend they are allowed downstairs before us but again no tv until one parent is up.

I would decide which bit of the day you want tv free and simply tell them the new rules. They'll moan and grumble and then quickly get on with it in my experience.

I have a five year old and at times have deffo relied on the TV. Particularly in weather like this! I think parents put themselves (and others!) under too much pressure to be perfect. It sounds like you get out and do loads of stuff together. X

It’s not so much the amount, it’s what they’re watching.

Totally agree with this

Why?!

I have the TV on whenever I'm home and awake - it's just background noise - no different to the radio, really.

Sounds like she is absolutely old enough for puzzles and crafts, and definitely too old for a pushchair.

All children are different etc, and mine are watching tv right now. But it’s so true that the more you do, the more you do - be it TV or simple activities. How do they learn to like puzzles and crafts? By doing them…

Op, we go through phases of it creeping up too. I would probably say though, if those activities don’t hold her attention for long it’s a sign she is watching too much at the moment. You’ll need to interact with her during the activities initially to encourage independent focus and play. Get some stuff on her Christmas list to keep her entertained. At that age DD loved those felt velcro books, we have a good felt tree on the wall at the moment that they can ‘decorate’. Little world stuff, toot toot cars, sorting sea creatures into coloured bowls etc.

It really is

@dijonketchup she isn’t, in any meaningful sense. She throws puzzle pieces around 🤦🏼‍♀️ and while she will colour a bit it doesn’t sustain her interest for longer than a few minutes. My older child was exactly the same and is now enjoying a range of crafts and puzzles and loves the Tonie box so I do think it is just an age thing. DD2 is 2 years 4 and a half months to be very precise, the other interests will come.

@Btowngirl shes only been watching this amount for maybe a couple of weeks. If anything I’d probably say she’s at home a bit too much; we could do with being out in the world a bit more, but it’s hard with the nap situation and needing to be back for the school run and so on.

Yeah I guess if your older DC was the same! DD1 was pretty good at focussing on an activity that age, not anything wild like making a craft start to finish but she could definitely focus. They’re all different though I suppose.

What programmes are going on? Is it worth trying lower stimulation so she isn’t captivated by it? Ours watch a bit of Julia Donaldson and will go off & play then come back etc so it’s not overstimulating

Why, if I'm not actually watching it? It's just there as noise.

Nothing's ever going to hold her attention if you keep ruining her attention span.

I had a 2 year old in peak covid - parks were shut , one walk a day , no clubs , nursery or visitors therefore he had endless cebeebies !
Hes now an extremely bright 7 year old so it clearly didn’t cause him any real harm . As long as you getting outside everyday , going on some walks , playgroups/ clubs then I wouldn’t stress.
I would suggest keeping to educational stuff like number blocks and also rotate your toys so they're more interesting , Setting up a different toy before you go bed really helps too .

So why don’t you offer some ideas and support?

I used to worry about this, but I honestly don't think it sounds too much. I've found it easier to lessen as DS gets older. He's nearly 4 now so I can more easily keep him busy with role-playing with toys, puzzles, etc. There were times he definitely had too much screen time. But he's so social, has talked well from a young age, like a sponge for information, well mannered, etc. If it's harmed his development (like MN members would say) then I haven't seen the evidence yet!

She can focus. Just not especially on crafts To be fair, I was never very good at crafts and things like that either.

@Weeken you see as much as I value constructive sort of criticism those sorts of replies are just spiteful. Since birth, she’s been immersed in stories, songs and nature; she’s been taken to swimming, sensory classes and rhyme times at the library, we spend a lot of time outside, she might not be able to sit quietly colouring for hours but she can tell you what a robin, blackbird, magpie etc are. I’ve been quite open about the fact too much TV has crept in over the last couple of weeks and am addressing this. But it doesn’t undo the good stuff that’s been done. That post and ones like it are the reason I had to step back from the thread for a while because I was getting quite upset by it. It’s one thing to say ‘yeah, a bit too much, have you thought about …’; another thing to accuse me of ‘ruining her attention span’

Lovely to see MN are really encouraging a kinder space, though

I’ve found the same @Curiousrobin , three and a half plus definitely has more variation for activities.

I can't see the problem at all

I'm a child psychologist btw

Horrible pattern to set.

if you have very little tv from the start, what you find is they engage in more imaginative play by themselves. That should be the aim.

Gets a bit circular though as more tv affects their attention span so they’ll be less capable at playing alone

Well, I really do appreciate that

I’m not worried about her attention span, she plays much better independently than her sister did at an equivalent age, in fact.

If we're at home, the TV is on.

DS will be 3 at the weekend and twin DD's are 19 months.

They don't just sit and watch it like zombies but do plenty at nursery, play with toys etc so a bit of chill time watching TV in the morning and after nursery really doesn't bother me.

That depends on the child.