Would you be put off a nursery if it employed a man?

[Eaglesfortea]

I’d like to think I’m open minded and not sexist, but I would be put off… I have no issue with male primary school teachers or sports club leaders, but I wouldn’t want an unrelated man changing DD’s nappy.

YABU - men working in nurseries wouldn’t bother me at all
YANBU - I’d be put off too

the man who sexually assaulted me as a child also worked in early years so for me it absolutely bothers me. i know everyone should be equal but i don't see why a man would go into that role. at my sons nursery there was a young lad for a few weeks, made me uncomfortable. he was out of nappies already and i knew logically i couldn't approach management without seeming discriminatory..as much as we don't like it, what can we really do

The nursery manager was a man when my children were there, his own child was a similar age so we would talk about our children. He was lovely with the children.
I didn’t see it as a problem at all

And I would emphasise, this is the key. child protection is everyone’s responsibility. Everyone’s.

there should be NO opportunity for this to happen in a care setting ever. Or anywhere.

But a care setting, everyone should have been screaming what is happening here.

I work in such a setting and even going to the toilet myself is a nightmare. everyone knows where we are at all times and can see each other. I just cannot comprehend any other situation

This.

Yes, I wouldn't send my children to any pre school childcare which employed a male. Through my work I met a number of paedophiles earlier in my career and all bar a couple seemed such nice people. If you didn't know what they'd done you'd never have suspected what they were capable of.

As I was naive and young I discussed this with a much more senior colleague. I found it confusing, I hadn't expected to like these evil people, but they were nice. My colleagues reply was along the lines of 'of course they're lovely, why do you think parents let them close enough to their kids to do what they did '. I learned a lesson that year.

Good post. Your comment about people being undetected by moving on reminded me of this awful case. This man worked in 23 nurseries in 8 years and over 800 kids had to have an STI test.
Absolutely vile.
www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2025/jul/15/afternoon-update-tuesday-ntwnfb

Yes - the risk of abuse is raised… simple.

I think it’s just sad that we live in a world where this has to be such a big consideration 😔

There is a male worker at DSs nursery and he is such an asset to the team. The kids absolutely love him and he is fantastic at his job. He is a dad to young DCs himself has worked in early years education for almost 10 years now. When his youngest goes to school he plans to go on and study to become a primary teacher and I have no doubt he’ll be fantastic.

In saying that, I was in the fortunate situation of not having to send my child to nursery until he was 3. He was fully toilet trained before going and he was a very early talker so his communication by age 3 was great and I felt more comfortable with the idea of nursery in general knowing that he needed minimal help with personal care and that he could tell me things clearly.

@Eaglesforteaas someone who has kids at nursery and now knows the vibe of it all, no it wouldn't put me off.

This whole thing has bothered me so much - putting the absolute horror aside, I feel sad for our boys. This isn't doing anything for men who might want to take on a more "typically feminine" role in the future. If we ban all men working in nurseries I worry it might do a lot of damage

I never sent my children to nursery but having man working there wouldnt bother me in the slightest.

Working with children myself, I don't see it to be any different to me (a female) changing a boys nappy.

The nursery my two DDs attended had a male worker in the toddler room. He was absolutely brilliant: not only did my DCs love him but he put all the other staff to shame. Even now, at 8 and 5, they still ask about him and whether we know what he is up to.

The nursery went from Outstanding to Inadequate in all four categories the year that he left, and I do not think for one minute it was a coincidence.

Sadly in this world... yes. It gives me peace of mind to negate the risk that men pose to children. That Australian study showing more men than I could have imagined admitting to being attracted to children doesn't ease my anxieties over this.

I wouldn’t at all. Nurseries are understaffed and poorly managed over all for adequate safeguarding to be implemented that’s why you have a rise in CSA and everyone is wondering how? Pedophiles are predatory by nature and a nursery is the perfect setting for them. They are often very charming and disarming that’s why you have a bunch of comments saying ‘my dc had a male worker who was absolutely brilliant’ 🙄Well yes that is kind of the point isn’t it?

Socio economic situation in this country is diabolical because both parents have this to work so we are conditioned into normalising handing over our children to complete strangers for for 8 hours a day. We are further being conditioned into believing that this is normal and abuse is rare.

Yes I would be put off by it.
The only male worker my son had, turned out to be a horrific pedo. Luckily my son was not one of his victims.
And these were older kids too, nothing to do with nappy changes.

99% of sex offenders are male. Hth.

Not a problem for me at all. My ds has a male TA and he is brilliant. None of mine have ever had male nursery nurses but i have worked in nurseries with men working there.

I wouldn’t have an issue and didn’t. My son’s nursery his keyworker was male and he loved him. I’m a nurse myself and there’s wrong people in all walks of life but would massively feel unfair to exclude someone based on gender based on ‘what ifs’. I work with lots of male nurses and healthcare assistants who are amazing at what they do but do not mind if anyone objects to care and want female only

I feel this way too. I wouldn't have sent my DD to a nursery that employed male staff.

I think the problem is that pedo's always integrate themselves into situations where young DC are vulnerable. Nurseries are perfect settings for them to offend especially when the DC are very young and maybe not verbal.

What would you have done if the nursery manager hired male staff after your DD had started nursery?

Move her.

Women play football do we men disagree with it yes but they still do

Enough parents complained at a friend’s nursery and said staff member ended up leaving.

Male wasn’t allowed to change nappies or be alone with a number of kids because parents had requested it. So it just became difficult.

On what grounds did the male member of staff leave?

Said he felt uncomfortable and parents particularly dad’s were quite hostile at pick up. So he left. I mean if several parents are saying they don’t want him alone with the kids and he’s not allowed nappy changing or to be alone with the kids because parents have asked it makes it hard to work in that environment I guess.