Would you be put off a nursery if it employed a man?

[Eaglesfortea]

I’d like to think I’m open minded and not sexist, but I would be put off… I have no issue with male primary school teachers or sports club leaders, but I wouldn’t want an unrelated man changing DD’s nappy.

YABU - men working in nurseries wouldn’t bother me at all
YANBU - I’d be put off too

This is an older US study but it shows although men made up only about 5% of childcare staff, they were responsible for 60% of the offences.

https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED292552.pdf

I would be interested to see an up to date UK study.

I’d be interested to see that too, but suspect it’s the kind of study that nobody wants to fund.

No, my son spent a year in a Swedish nursery that had several male staff members - it's quite normal there I think.

Is it even a study? A gathering of data, really. How many nursery workers were convicted of CSA, how many were men, what % of nursery workers are men.

it’s probably available somewhere

No. And yes, there was a male staff member at my kids' nursery.

It will never not be discrimination, and it's as simple as that.

We have all females for the early years at our school. Only male is the PE teacher. I think many parents would not like it if a male was in the nursery section. We have male teachers for reception on as being toilet trained is a requirement by then.

Quite interesting though- and admittedly only a quick google- is that CSA seems high in Sweden. 1in 5 children have been victims and nspcc put it as 1 in 20 in the uk

I’m not suggesting it’s related to their male childcare staff but maybe isn’t the best example of safeguarding?

They have the same problems there.

https://swedenherald.com/article/sexual-abuse-against-nine-children-in-ljusdal

https://www.hindustantimes.com/world/sweden-daycare-worker-raped-24-toddlers-sent-to-jail-for-over-for-6-years/story-aijketMNZucFpLKa7d7SSJ_amp.html

There were a few men working at my kids' nursery. I know that's unusual. It was years ago now but I wouldn't hesitate to choose the same again.

I’m talking about private nursery. My kids went to school nursery aged 3 with female staff

It wouldn't bother me. My girl had a male nursery nurse when we moved and honestly he was really good for her..I feel she lacked make role models. I saw a huge change in her confidence since. I've seen more reports of female nursery workers abusing kids over male ones.

The more men we have working in nurseries, the more cases of child abuse there will be in nurseries. Yes the absolute risk will remain extremely low but one more child is one child too many.

Have you really?

God how ignorant are people here. The vast majority of abuse is conducted by family members or people known to the child.

Yes, nursery workers are known to the child. And the family. The parents think they are great.

I think most people know that?!

but consider- your husband / child’s father isn’t a CSA. You believe your brothers and grandfathers aren’t CSA either, but they’re never left alone with your female baby anyway.

thats the reality for the vast majority of mothers. In that case, of course the strangers are the ones you worry about.

if you are vulnerable to being groomed, have a male who isn’t the father in the house, come from a family of / are a victim of CSA or other risk factors then of course you should worry about men in your own house first.

i know you’re going to say- the father is still the highest risk. Yes, apart from when he is NOT a CSA. Which obviously the vast majority of fathers are not.

I worked in a nursery for four years with two young men there. My own daughter attended with me and I can honestly say they were amazing with her and had a great bond, also really great role models for the little boys and I trusted them with my DD implicitly, one of them being her key worker. It never ever crossed my mind and never has done that they would hurt or abuse a child in any way and yes I’m aware that it does happen in nurseries but I wouldn’t tar every male with the same brush. There was a female worker there sacked due to pushing a child, yes not the same as sexual abuse but women can and do hurt children too!!

No, not all men, yes, not no women. Yet male daycare staff are roughly 30 times more likely to commit sexual offences than female staff. So I wouldn’t be thrilled

Thankfully we're past that stage now but no, I wouldn't have sent either of mine to a nursery with male staff.

I was wary of DD2's Reception teacher being male too (very young and straight out of teacher training), but reassured myself that it was the two female TAs who helped with any toilet issues/changing clothes.

We've had this discussion countless times now; Yes, lots of people will be put off because "it's mostly men who are peadophiles"or commit acts of violence and that children are even more at risk because people who are predisposed to being that way will seek out jobs where they can specifically work with children, despite plenty of evidence to suggest that many men are just as good as women in these roles and that statistically, abuse is more likley going to happen in the home from someone that you know.

There's already 5 pages of this thread and I can almost guarantee some of these points have already been raised.

I wouldn't be comfortable with it.

I've known and known of too many bad men and I'm afraid that gives me prejudice. The fact is that a lot of predatory men gravitate towards roles in life where they will have control of the vulnerable (like the current nursery case, or that vet in leicester that was in the news recently for abusing boys at a summer camp). I hate the thought of not being able to protect my son so wouldn't take the risk.

In some circumstances, not others. A local family run a large childminding service which employs the mum, dad and a professional assistant with ratios accordingly. I can see how it has grown over the years and they have a great rep locally. I would want a clear narrative of why a man is present though and sure that's unfair, but it is within the reasonable bands of unfair given the risks.

Because of easy access. The answer isn’t to expand access

Under the Equality Act 2010 men can’t be banned from working in nurseries. The poor baby who died in 2022 was strapped to a beanbag by a female nursery worker. Should we ban females from working in nurseries too and train robots to do childcare?

Yet many CSAs are fathers.