Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

That’s a ridiculous amount of money to ask for a trip. Will many actually be able to afford it?

Christ alive that’s mental. Six and a half GRAND?!?! What planet are these people on?!?!

sent my DD on one expensive trip. £1600 and I regret it, paid it in lumps over a year. (Also year ten. Not very deprived south coast)

that’s just cruel to dangle that in fro t of kids when only 1% can go I’d be writing a massive letter of complaint to the governors right now. Genuinely. Kick off. A £600 trip to Europe would’ve just as good.

That is a crazy expensive trip. I doubt many parents could afford it, and they will need a minimum number to make it viable, so you may find there is no decision to make.
It's a valuable life lesson for her - figure out how many hours she would need to work to pay for it, to put cost in perspective for her.
There will be many opportunities for her to travel as a young adult. I did a similar trip at 22, cost around 1.5k.

You're in a deprived area, state school, how have they fucked up this much?

Someone needs to have a word with the Head, they might as well have made the trip a million pounds.

That’s a hard no! We are financially comfortable but that’s too much for one family member to have a holiday. So it would be a no. It’s so unfair of schools to offer ridiculously priced holidays. Don’t feel guilty. That’s a lot for any family

They offered this at DD's (Private) school and very few kids went, I think 2 or 3
Its not just the cost its the fact that they have to raise most of it themselves and that is HARD

Thats absolutely shocking. The trip may well be cancelled if theres not enough interest.
Dd had a geography trip to somewhere in Europe cancelled last year as there were only a few who signed up.

Neither of mine fancied those trips. They are so expensive hardly anyone goes on them. None of their friends went. This issue may solve itself naturally... We’re quite high earning and we baulked at the cost of these trips. Just say it’s not an option.

I'd be making a furious complaint to the school over this. It's outrageous.

Barely anyone actually goes on these trips OP. They’re a con.

Our joint income is in excess of 100k , I wouldn't pay that for a school trip!

Is it a world challenge type trip? If so I think the kids are supposed to raise it all themselves. Saying that £6.5k is a ridiculous cost for a school trip and my DC wouldn’t be going.

They should not be dangling this sort of thing in front of kids. It puts parents in a very difficult and unfair position.

£6,500 is a ridiculous amount for any school trip. It's equally ridiculous and unrealistic to suggest to the kids that they themselves can fundraise the amount themselves. Just like that. They won't be able to so in most cases the struggling parents will have to cough up.

I'm afraid it would have to be a hard no from me and that would almost certainly result in a showdown with the child.

Why are the school allowing external companies in to tout their expensive wares? There is a moral dimension here that I think is deeply uncomfortable - I mean it’s direct selling to kids isn’t it? Describing a dream and then putting an outlandish price tag on it. You could go to Borneo much cheaper than that - my friend did and was volunteering with orangutans - you can buy a decent second hand car for that outlay.

I’d say NO to it now and mean it.

You can’t afford it. It’s a pretty basic premise.

If you want to, you can write separately to the Chair of Governors and make your valid points. This isn’t an amount of money for a school trip that’s normal, or achievable via (eg) babysitting or flogging cakes.

The school leadership are idiots for sanctioning such an expensive trip. It's devisive. There is no way that I would send DS on a 6 grand school trip. I'd tell it to him straight. Pretty sure there won't be many kids attending.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it?

I'm surprised you have to tell her you can't afford £6,500 for school trip???

My kids might've been quietly hopeful, but they never would've been so presumptuous as to get excited about it!

It sounds like a world challenge event. These trips aren’t planned with the idea that majority of the year group will be going. The school won’t have that many staff to cover the trip. They normally only intend for 20-30ish kids to go. It supposed to be a once in a lifetime opportunity. It won’t be the only trip the school is running. You’ll just have to have a frank conversation with your Dd.

That’s dreadful! I think your DD will understand that’s an insane amount of money won’t she? If not it’s definitely time to help her understand as she’ll get a shock in a few years.

You sit her down and explain that its not viable as she can't earn/fundraise that much money in 18 months nor do you have a spare £6500 lying around, that your sorry but its not realistic to expect any parent to be able to afford it and you doubt that any of her friends parents will be in a position to fund the trip either.

I'd also be having words with the school about the inappropriate sales tactics and keeping trips under £1000 in future
Edited because I misread the year of the trip

£6500 to go to Borneo, ''Of all places''................Tell her she can't go, and that's the end of it. Sounds ridiculous to me.

That is utterly abysmal and encourages the kind of begging from friends and family which you often see complaints about on here. I am sorry OP.

I think your child is quite old enough to understand that that is a ridiculous amount of money and simply not affordable. Im
sure her friends will be going in to school tomorrow being told the same thing. It’s a huge amount even for high earners

Don’t let her have false hope - she needs to know it’s not possible; you’d have to be really wealthy to spend that on a holiday for one child.

I’d be honest, it’s way too expensive. Absolute madness.