Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

This is just ridiculous to even suggest a school trip with a price tag like that! You really must NOT feel guilty for saying no.

Sorry but no. This is the sort of stuff you save for long term and then do on a gap year. For a start £6.5k on a gap year will get you a lot further than a month if you’ve half a brain. School are taking the piss.
And it won’t just be the trip itself btw - she’s need all the vaccinations, only some of which are free and it’ll come with a gigantic kit list.
Besides which, with the exception of the conservationists dealing with injured or orphaned animals, cuddling orangutan is not a thing and anywhere offering it should be given a wide berth.

These trips are a con. The companies which run them are private and profit making. I sat in on a presentation at my kids school 6 years or so ago, it was a load of guff. The money has to be raised in stages and if you can’t meet the next instalment you forgo the balance already paid. Schools should not be letting these parasites through the door. So a google review on the companies. You should complain to the school.

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

Absolutely! Even at a private school plenty of parents wouldn’t be able to afford that.

Sadly you need to explain to her that it just isn’t going to be possible right now. If going to Borneo is a big dream for her then one day maybe she can fulfill that but it’s not the time.

I understand why you want to protect your children from your financial troubles but this is really quite different to that.

Ridiculous. We’re “high earners” and I would still spit out my coffee if presented with this.

It’s all very well suggesting getting a job but at that age you’d often be expecting a teen to get a Saturday job anyway to pay for clothes/cinema/etc so unless she’s willing to sacrifice a social life to save up then you’re just indirectly subsidising by allowing a Saturday job pay to all be diverted to the trip.

Begging off friends and family will only get you so far.

Fuck me! I work in an indie school and we don’t offer trips like that! That’s ridiculous.

It would be a hard no from me.

Our DC (now 18 & 19) came home with those letters, similarly fired up, and it was a no here. Each year there’s kids at their school hosting discos, fashions shows etc to fund these ridiculous trips, and making less than a quarter of what they need. We’re relatively comfortable and could have found the money but it was just no, I think these things should be stopped. One of DD’s friends did go- almost died of alcoholic poisoning and did naff all white saviouring of measurable use.

I agree. Schools shouldn't be doing these trips.

World Challenge claims that these trips enrich the communities the kids visit. They don't. It's poverty tourism at its worst. They kids might paint a school (vadly), dig a well (that colleapses) or construct something "useful" which needs to be rebuilt. It's expensive virtue signalling.

I feel you op! My son was invited to the 2027 scouts jumbaree. It’s 10 days in Poland (camping) and they costed it as 4k!! We also in a poor NE area!
I had to be straight with my son and tell him no way could we spend that much - for context we go away as a family of four in the summer and it doesn’t cost this much!
I think it’s a bit mean to get kids excited for a trip most with have financial barriers to accessing!
I don’t have any answers as it’s a bit shit and unfair but do raise with the school.

Are they getting kickbacks from the travel company or what?!

I don't think oranguntangs hug strangers in the wild. They're more likely to screech at them, scatter, and possibly gang up menancingly if they see them as a threat.

But I guess the guides know how to handle them.

It's an outrageous amount of money anyway.

We have a high household income - No way would i entertain this.
We go on summer holidays as a family for £4k.

I would give a flat no as this trip is a waste of money but say yes i support you seeing the world and visiting borneo.

I'd suggest she do a gap year, work for 6m or so then go and that 6.5k would fund travelling for 3 -6 months in Asia and a visit borneo as part of that vs 1 month now.

This would give her (and you) time to save and also time to be sure its what she really wants...vs. instant gratification amd asking because the school let a private company pitch to a captive audience.
It sounds like she was forced to sit through the equivalent of a time share pitch....theres no educational value and it's a con IMO. Its very unethical...
I also think tjey target lower incpme areas knowing they feel under pressure and like their kids are missing out if they dont go
..

That’s absolute madness.

We live in an affluent area and I can tell you now that there would be very few sign ups for this at my DCs school. Don’t let this make you feel bad about your financial situation. The school are a disgrace for dangling this carrot but I’m sure she’ll quickly realise that no one else will be going either.

It will get cancelled as nobody will be able to afford it

Absolute nonsense.

She has her entire life ahead of her to cuddle primates and trek through jungles. Dangling this (for profit, no doubt) holiday in front of teens in a deprived area is reprehensible. Especially, presenting it to them without notice, without parental permission.

You have nothing for which to apologize. There is no shame in saying "that sounds nice but we simply cannot afford it; that is equivalent to (x weeks) income for us and it's simply not possible.

Frankly teenagers need to be focusing on education, not globetrotting. I seriously would complain to the school about this rubbish.

We could afford this and we love travel but if I was giving my DCs £5.5k for travel I’d wait till they were 18 or older - it would go much further. The problem is the savings are paid in at period through the year so if you pull out - you’ll loose everything you’ve put in. So Parents often feel forced to pay more than they feel comfort with. Some people try to pretend this is a charity they are fund raising for rather than a holiday. Could you really ask people in a poor community to pay for a holiday for your child. This is a profit making holiday company - just be sure you know what you are signing up for before considering a yes.

The minimum wage is £7.55 per hour for 16-18 year olds, no minimum wage for under 16 but the going rate around us is £5 per hour. So if an under 16 year old who did manage to secure a weekend job working an 8 hour day and paying the minimum wage if lucky then the max they could earn would be approx £260 a month. And then somehow fundraise an additional £100 per month, consistently every month for 18 months and revise for GCSEs?? Very few kids would be capable of that.

Like the PP my kids school offered one of these and not enough people were interested so it was cancelled 🤷. People could definitely afford , just didn't want to. Four weeks is a long time too!

Is it camps international? Beware, they are very difficult to get money back from if your circumstances change and the child can nolonger go.

I think the sad thing is that families who are actually struggling will probably feel more pressured to find a way to send their DC than better off families who would probably just say “haha no get real” without feeling like they are failing.

This 100%

1. Nothing is cheap when you are skint.
2. You have no customers because all your friends/ neighbours/ fellow pupils are skint.
3. You would need to hold endless cake sales to make a dent in that cost and , once costs are deducted, the profit each time is miniscule.

Oh jings I hate this sort of thing for lots of reasons but for me the fundraising falls into the category of 'don't ask me to sponsor a walk or some other ridiculous activity to fund your child's expensive holiday'. It completely shows the school's lack of awareness of the challenges facing families and communities. Many of the pupils will be disappointed about not going but it's just one of those things especially if it will set back family finances in a way that affects others such as other kids getting trips or nice things for the household etc.

you can take her to Borneo for cheaper yourself.

I would tell her the truth of your family finances, she is old enough to see the family budget and how you have to balance income to outgoings and the importance of living within your means.

I would also say let’s plan our own trip to somewhere exciting to celebrate GCSEs and work out a realistic budget, encourage the Saturday job and see what you might be able to set aside as well towards it. Virgin Atlantic offers all kinds of options for the Caribbean, Thailand, Bali, South Africa, Mexico and so on where £6500 would be more than enough for all 3 of you to go on an all inclusive holiday. Or, for half that you can head to Greece or the Maldives.

I’m sorry but I find this hard to believe.

I'd be telling her straight that its a con that is more harmful to the animals and local economy than any good.