Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

Frankly, that is disgusting. I wonder if somebody is getting a backhander. For the record, when my daughter was her age we were managing very comfortably, but no way would I have contemplated that kind of outlay, that would have covered several very nice holidays for the entire family! I am appalled that the school would think it was appropriate to organise such an expensive trip. I would a)complain STRONGLY to the school about this, and b) talk to other parents, and get them to complain too. I know very few families who would consider shelling out this kind of money. Madness.

She's old enough in Year 10 to be given some understanding of the family's finances, not in fine setail but a broad understanding.

Fucking hell, that is absolutely extortionate. That’s the kind of money myself and DP would spend on a luxury 14 night holiday before we had any kids - after saving for it all year!! How dare the school dangle the trip in front of all those kids, knowing the majority of them will not be going as the parents cannot afford it! I would never dream of paying for that for my childs trip, even if we could afford it. I would seriously consider putting in a complaint to the school. I am furious for you!

got it, thanks

Ridiculous, and almost certainly some kind of highly marked-up scam by a travel company.

I bet there’s some do-gooding ‘help save the orang-utans’ element or some other meaningless nonsense. It’s a standard marketing technique.

Tell your daughter to save up with a few friends, then do the trip herself once she’s finished school at 18. Plenty do that. A return air fare to Indonesia, say via Bangkok or KL, some cheap hotels/hostels and so on would not amount to over six grand. What a rip-off!

I think all these school trips where its thousands and the kids are expected to fundraise is wild. I dont really understand why people contribute either if im honest. I dont see how a 16year olds 4 week trip benefits anyone other than the 16 year old and would rather give to local charities.

And I often wonder if a kid doesnt raise their full target what happens to their money? Its not ethical for the kids to spend it on other stuff or really for the company to profit.

However, once the school allows these trips to be dangled what can you do.

So under 18 minimum wage is £7.55 (at 16 I did 25 hours a week of work on top of school/6th form but say she just did Saturdays 8hrs) £7.55 x 8hrs x 52 weeks = £3140.80 in a year and she has 18 months so she could if you made her save all her wages, earn about half of it in a year. Plus fundraising, plus any help you could give, she could sell stuff she doesnt want on vinted of ebay too. It is difficult but not impossible if she wants to sacrifice to achieve it and I think thats the convo. We cant afford it, if you can fund it we will help all we can but itll mean you cant do X or have to prioritise it over Y.

thats insane. I would not pay that. I’m sure she will understand- she can’t really expect you to spend all that on a trip surely? You could pay for a family all inclusive week abroad in the summer for that! It’s a ridiculous trip for schools to promote. I can’t imagine many parents will be happy to pay that so she definitely won’t be the only pupil not going

They do these trips at my DSs schools although slightly cheaper. There’s not a chance in hell he will be going on my dollar, nor any chance he’d be motivated enough to raise any money.

A friend of mines daughter went on one last year, and must have enjoyed it as she’s saving for this years too. She definitely is a very motivated young person, she did house cleaning and did lot of things like cookie jars and sweet cones. Having said that I’ve no idea if she raised the entire amount or a proportion.

My MIL is also friendly with this mum and was driving me crazy mentioning it and asking DS if he’ll go when it’s his year. I’ve had to politely ask her not to mention it again in case he suddenly decides he fancies it. No way would I find £4500 for him to have a solo jolly when that could pay for a couple of summer caravan holidays for all of us!

Three reasons why you should not cuddle an orangutan

https://www.thegreatprojects.com/blog/hands-on-contact-with-orangutans

Wow! That is ridiculous. I expect the opportunities for education about the environment is the reason Borneo has been chosen. Some ideological twits idea of essential learning. In reality it will be hot, humid and populated with biting insects . She will hate it.

Why? Lots of us have commented saying our kids or ourselves have been offered similar trips at school. Its not a school trip as such it usually an outside profit making company running the trip.

That's a bonkers trip to offer at a regular state school. I don't know any families who would be able to justify that kind of money.

Sure, it sounds very exciting but I can't imagine there will be many kids at your DC's school who will be able to go.

Don't feel guilty about it, you definitely won't be the only parents trying to gently set expectations. Sure, encourage her to get a part time job - it can pay for normal sized fun things for her and she can save up for driving lessons.

When she's finished school and earning full-time she can plan her own visits to all sorts of places. But not right now and not at that cost.

I didn't say it would be easy or fun.

If she's prepared to accept it will be bloody hard work then I'd let her try if she's really determined to, as long as she's armed with the knowledge that it might not be realistic.

Once she understands how much work it will be it is likely she will lose interest anyway. But some teenagers are surprisedly determined and she may just pull it out of the bag.

£6,5000 for 4 weeks to Borneo is nothing. I am not saying it’s right for your school to offer it as a trip but as context I am planning a trip next year to Asia for about 4-5 weeks for the family and the cost will be about 13 times that (tho as I say that is a family). It’s just one of those things. Don’t be angry, just say no.

Loads of great advice here. It sounds like a con and unlikely to go ahead anyway. It’s good she has ambition to travel. Gently bring her down to earth snd use it as a lever to talk about opportunity cost as already suggested, and to start her looking for a part time job and aiming high for her future career.
I remember dropping into our eldest’s high school to collect her when she was in year 7 and saw all the trip. Crazy prices and poor value. There was an understanding that unless it was specifically required as part of an exam course they could forget it, as we needed the money to carry on having good family holidays which we did. Both went on to save up and inter-rail etc.

This! They should have sent the letter and presentation home to the parents and then allowed parents to opt into the idea of it being introduced to their children - a lunch time presentation etc.

TBH I would be complaining to the school. And I say that as the parent of kids who went to a private school where there were billionaires and celebs amongst the parent community - many of whom also felt holidays over £1500 were excessive and exclusionary of those students from less privileged backgrounds (we were on the PTA where this precise issue was discussed).

I’d be livid with the school for floating this in front of my kids and their peers without consulting parents first.

Op it’s probably the same company organising the trip that came to our school promoting it the other week, they had an information evening to pitch it. They come in every year and promote it, but I believe they approach the school rather than it being like a standard school organised trip to a museum or something like that. If it’s the same company organising the trip (same location and cost), only a few students go each year out of 300. They’re encouraged to fundraise as much as possible, I know of a parent who could afford to stump up the rest of the money for their dc to go, and they’re a well off family. Think he managed to fundraise £500 himself.

It’s way out of reach for most of the families at our school, as is the month long trip somewhere else that was recently pitched at school, students will build a local school and going scuba diving somewhere exotic, I can’t remember where! Dd said barely anyone took it seriously. It was definitely a business coming in and pitching, sold it as a great achievement to put on your ucas form. Dd wouldn’t want to go away for a month anyway, but if she did I’d just tell her unless she could fundraise most of the cost we simply can’t afford any kind of trip that costs that much!

I was in Borneo this summer with my children and we didn't spend even half of that. I'm flabbergasted. If it comes to it, suggest one of you will take her alone after GCSEs or, for that price, go as a special once in a lifetime family trip. 6.5k for one person, for a school trip!! That's the most expensive I've heard on here. I'll be surprised if it goes ahead.

Is this real?

No it isn’t.
‘Rich’ people tend to be sensible: that’s often how they got rich.
They’d see this as the disgusting scam it is.

As pp have said, it's not really a "school trip" as such, it's an external company.
I doubt they'll have much uptake.

That's unreal. In one way, it's good it's so outrageous, most parents will say no to that, compared to 600 for a ski trip for example.

She'll need to earn £85 a week for the next year and a half. And keep it all for the trip. Does she think that's doable.

Jesus Christ
Having travelled through Indonesia, that trip could be done for less than half.....way less than half!!!!

It’s really unfair that the school have presented this option to the children without first consulting parents. I’m sure they’d have been shot down in flames before raising the hopes of young people with little understanding of the cost implications. So strange! I’d love to know their thought process.

I wonder if the accompanying staff are even fully on board with paying that for a school trip away from their own family? I imagine her friends probably will also not be going?

I would be very (gently) clear with DD that it’s not realistic at this time. If it’s something she desperately wants to do when she’s earning her own money as an adult, she can revisit the idea then.

But many families, especially those who are struggling, would be encouraging their DC to get a Saturday job to give themselves a bit of extra pocket money, or to sell their old clothes on Vinted so they can buy new stuff.

So to put everything into a Borneo Fund means accepting the parents paying for pocket money and clothes etc