Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

Our teens do the ski trips and occasionally another one in the year if it comes up but combined they've never come to more than 6k. That's a really bad idea, what are the school thinking??

Me. I've been, it's fantastic, and I've taken my children.
However, the OP can't afford this trip, so that's it.

The problem with the fundraising if you come from a deprived area is everyone in the area is skint. There is only so much money they are willing to part with especially when the cause is an unnecessary jolly for a school age kid which is what this is no matter how much they say they will be helping the local communities when they get there.

Our DCs school offered a similar trip; basic accommodation in a spectacular 3rd world country for an exorbitant price. The school included an information assembly during school time which was essentially a pressurised sales pitch for the whole trip which really annoyed me.

The kids were encouraged to fundraise to cover the costs but fundraising is hard. I know one girl who is going and she is spending time she should be revising for her GCSEs on holding bake sales to raise money. She still has over £4,000 to raise by July as well as deal with her GCSEs. Utter madness. I told DD no, i wasn’t paying and she was ill equipped to fundraise such vast amounts of money when she should be focused on her exams instead. She was upset so I bought her an Arcane T-shirt and she got over it pretty well. Stand your ground OP

Also means that you will be buying the ingredients etc for the cakes she needs to sell to raise the money to go so you won't save any money there.

Mine has also said the years above are off to Asia for £4K next year. She said she can’t wait for that year. I said I will not be able to afford that and not to get excited. What the hell are schools playing at these days?!

Ridiculous and irresponsible

Mine are at a school where quite a few parents could have afforded the £4k one that was touted a few years ago - practically no one went. I just said no, not a chance. There was no way bake sales etc would have raised the ££ and we weren’t willing to pay for just DS to go on a trip like this.

Ive just put July trip to Borneo in Skyscanner..from London cheapest flight is £548 return..next is £780.
Cheaper for you all to go and pay for a guide.
Ridiculous for the school to put this out to the kids.
I'm sorry they've put you in this predicament.

We had had the same trip offered this week (but over £1k cheaper) to also go to Borneo at the same time. The idea is that the children fundraise but the examples of previous efforts brought in around £500-1000 a time so that leaves a lot left. Also if you pay part of the trip but can't fully pay, there's no refund (I assume because of fundraising). My child isn't going because I can't guarantee I can fund the difference. It takes a certain type of child to be able to fundraise for 5/6k! It looks wonderful but not doable for us.

Oh come on.

This is ludicrous. I came home waving a leaflet once about an elephant sanctuary in Nepal, I was at 16 and robust enough to be told that such things just weren’t possible at that time. as I’m sure your 16 year old is too.

Unless she’s not very with it you can explain this one to her and she’ll understand, I doubt all her mates think it’s in the bag either. They’re not going to raise a tenth of it selling bloody fairy cakes either and unless they’re idiots they can do the maths.

These kind of trips are a swizz for the charity anyway, nothing more. The orangutans neither want or need a load of screeching teenagers turning up to ‘help’.

The help a teenager can offer an overseas deprived area is also limited. They have no experience and no skills. It's just a jolly and people don't have the money to give to a child in a deprived area when they are also struggling.

I don’t want to sound like a dick when I say we’re ok for money, but I’m just saying it to show you that I would still not pay that for that trip, I also wouldn’t want my kid away for 4 weeks but also 6.5 is utterly ridiculous! We want a family holiday too. I feel like this is an almighty fuck up

It sounds like poverty tourism World Challenge.

I don't really agree with the ethic of these kind of trips. It would be a simple no from me I'm afraid.

It is an insane amount and we do a Scouts trip to switzerland that is £1k minus any fundraising we do and DS did go on a school trip to Iceland also 1k so not adverse to spending money on trips.

There are grants out there that she may be able to apply for https://www.projects-abroad.co.uk/how-it-works/scholarships-and-bursaries/

That’s nearly enough for a house deposit!
I think it’s completely tone deaf of the school to even have this as an option. Ridiculous!

Fundraising how?

If the answer is 'asking for donations' that isn't very helpful when there isn't much money around.

Jesus. I thought this was going to be about a £1500 skiing trip or something but that is fucking wild.

£6500 is a two week AI full family holiday. Don't feel guilty op, most people wouldn't entertain it for a second, it's completely nuts.

That's just too much. I wouldn't pay it for a school trip and I think it is irresponsible of a school to propose it. We're quite well off so in principle could afford it, but I just dont think it is worth it.

We had a brilliant family holiday to Singapore/Borneo a few years ago. The total cost for the four of us for two weeks including everything was £5500. I'd much rather spend the money that way.

I mean, it’s so cheap to make cakes but that’s not the issue. It’s just mental. I keep trying to think in what world would this be normal and it’s only for rich rich people , and those that want to appear so

This is insane.

You could have a whole incredible family holiday for that money.

The trip is crazy overpriced.

We could afford it if DD came home with it and I would still say no.

I also think there’s something in wanting to show my DC the world myself, and not wanting them to go off and do this where all I would do was worry.

But not with business flights - 2 weeks and luxury hotels you didn't

She'll be doing her GCSEs at the same time and needs to prioritise those.

Does the cost include any vaccinations she might need / clothes/ specific kit or are those an extra cost.

I agree with this. My parents could not possibly have managed this and I would never have expected them to at her age. She can do something similar when she's older and can save more easily.

Oh I think I remember a similar overpriced trip when I was at school. I asked my mum if I could go and she literally laughed and said no. She didn’t even explain her reasons but tbf I forgot about in a few weeks and moved on. Don’t set her an unrealistic goal of working all hours outside of school to pay for it. You’ll end up having to step in when she fails.

She’ll absolutely survive not cuddling some orangutans at 16. She’s got her entire life to fanny about with that stuff once she’s out of education.