Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

That’s an insane amount of money to spend on a trip for a 15 YO and I can’t believe the school gave even proposed it.

Don’t feel guilty, explain it’s a lot of money and not something you can justify.

£6500 could fund a whole family holiday!

That’s a beyond ludicrous amount for a school trip. DS left private school 2 years ago and even the most expensive trips were around £2500.

The vast vast majority of families will file that letter in the bin. Do NOT feel you are letting her down. Just be honest that this is so far out of your budget that there is no option to go

Ridiculous.

Cuddle an Orang Utan? FFS, a local zoo is cheaper.

That’s a crazy amount! My son had similar at his school, external company offering a trip to Zimbabwe for a out £4K. My son was interested at first but I explained that this is the kind of trip where you fundraise to cover the cost, it’s part of learning and demonstrating your skills, he soon lost interest 🤣.

Very few will go on this trip OP, it may not even go ahead.

Wow, that would be expensive even as a whole family holiday let alone one.
Sorry, poor daughter and the stupid school putting kids through this, getting them all excited over something not many people could afford.

Lots of schools offer these kind of trips only a handful of students ever go on them. Luckily our school also in a deprived area do the assembly about the trip after school not in school time so you can intervene and say no early before they've got excited. I think this is a good opportunity to learn that some things are just too expensive however much you want them.

It's ok to burst her bubble in cases like these OP. Yes she'll be upset and yes she'll get over it. It's a ridiculous amount of money.

Encourage her to get a Saturday job and start saving up. Borneo will still be there (and still be amazing) in a few years, or she may have other dreams.

I think it's good to have high aspirations.

I'd sit DD down and run through a plan with her about how to raise the money- not beg for it, earn it. She'll need to understand how to get there. I'd be very clear in the plan that you won't top it up. If she can keep on track to earn the money by the commitment date, I'd let her go.

Personally, I'd be fucked off with the school for dangling this carrot as if it's totally normal (it's so not)...but, it might light something a bit of entrepreneurial spirit. She also might start earning and then realise working that hard isn't worth blowing it on on a fancy 4 week trip...

That's an absolutely wild amount of money! I'd be surprised if any kids go!

For what it's worth I missed out on school trips back in the day as we were skint. My friends families were all a bit wealthier so all got to go. I remember feeling mildly jealous then moving on. I'm sure your DD will understand

have a grown up conversation with her. She might be disappointed for a day but believe me hardly anyone will be going. Tell her the financial ridiculousness of this and then move the conversation on

Leaving aside the ridiculous cost of the trip the vaccination requirements for Borneo are-

Hepatitis A: A viral infection transmitted through contaminated food and water.
Tetanus: Tetanus and Diphtheria protection is typically recommended.
Typhoid: A bacterial infection from contaminated food and water.
Vaccinations to consider based on your itinerary
Hepatitis B: Recommended for long-term stays or if you will have close contact with locals.
Rabies: Recommended for those who will be trekking, working with animals, or spending extended time in rural areas.
Japanese Encephalitis: Consider if you plan to spend time in rural areas, especially those with rice fields or pig farms.
Malaria: Depending on your itinerary, you may need to take anti-malarial medication, especially if visiting rural or forested areas.

That lot alone would put me off. But yeah, you have to tell her it's a No OP. And I'd definitely email the school and ask wtf they were thinking putting something as expensive as that in front of children before getting parents agreement.

You don’t need to worry because I’m sure at most you’ll have 1/6 of the year group going with so many not going. It might not even go ahead if there’s not enough people signing up
How many families can even afford 6k for a family holiday. Your financial situation may be clouding your judgement here because even people in better financial positions to yours won’t give it much thought if they have to say no.

I'm taking my family to borneo in the summer for 2 weeks - 5 of us for £30,000 Business class flights, luxury accom, plus 3 night in KL.
They're taking the mickey.

This was offered at our school - it never went ahead in the end as there was no uptake. I didn’t feel bad saying no actually - it is an obscene amount for a school trip. Very few will be able to fundraise a significant amount either.
Tell your daughter there will be time for wonderful trips ahead when she leaves school and can work to raise the funds. Many young people go travelling in a gap year or later on.

I'm actually pretty comfortable and this would enrage me. That's a huge sum of money.

I know you're shirt of mo ey but this holiday is a lot cheaper. DD is probably too young anyway but this could help her budgeting in the future
https://www.thegreatprojects.com/volunteer-with-orangutans?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20911019662&gclid=CjwKCAiA3L_JBhAlEiwAlcWO52I7_zZ7y6uxaBfFhXvOX9o3hx7Psr04g9Vuc69rFgnFEVttI3Y1thoCqCAQAvD_BwE

Come on, think logically...you sit her down and tell her that's too expensive and won't be happening. I can't imagine more than 5 people from a normal state school will be going, if that, so she won't be alone.

There were ski trips of £600 when I was at school (in the dark ages) and I knew it was way too expensive so wouldn't have asked.

I would probably drop the head an email to suggest prices like that are completely unaffordable for most and such a visit for everyone is rather unhelpful.

Sounds like Camps International or similar. Most kids won’t go. Your dd will be fine if you say no. No way would my kids have gone.

Thats not a "school trip"

Thats one of these eco tourism/voluntourism type companies or charities that come and encourage teens to do these excursions. Only a tiny proportion of kids will do it. Theyve been around for years.

One of the secondaries near us tried something similar and they had to cancel it because there wasn’t enough interest.

It’s a really mean thing to do as it excludes kids and you’d have to do a hell of a lot of fundraising for that amount.

Plus - even if people are loaded I think they’d still have to think really seriously about it. I agree with other posters tho I’m be emailing the school and copying in the governors and asking why they got an external company in? Maybe there is some sort of commission for the school?

Honestly op. They're lots of things I regret not being able to give my kids but this would not be one of them . I'd sit her down and explain that absolutely you can't afford this and even if you could, you don't believe that this is a good use of family money when it would pay for 3 family holidays . Now in the first flush she's all excited but I would tell her at the weekend .

You will probably find most people aren’t going on that trip. Bit like the ski trips when I was at school, the majority didn’t go (I would guess due to cost). Don’t feel guilty for saying no, it is a massive amount of money for a school trip

I think because you’re so concerned about not being able to afford it you’ve lost sight of the people who could afford it and would still say no as it’s RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE.

This is ridiculous - essentially a very expensive holiday for a child, a money-spinner for the company which organises it and a free jaunt for the accompanying staff.

It’s also outrageous that a state school is pushing this. I’ve seen the website - lots of guff about developing tomorrow’s leaders and global citizens. I would write to the chair of governors.