Can't afford Dd's very expensive school trip

[Wario54]

My DD is 15 and in year 10 at the moment. We live a deprived part of the North of England. She goes to a local, state comprehensive

My DH has had his hours reduced at work in recent months. I work part time in retail (can't get anymore hours unfortunately - I have asked). Like a lot of families, we're financially struggling to keep our heads above water. But we get by (somehow) and I never take the little things for granted (that we have each other, food on the table and a roof over our heads). We've not told our kids about our financial worries - they know there isn't much spare money but not about the extent of our problems.

Dd has come home tonight with a letter and great excitement about another school trip. They had a guest speaker today (external travel company) in assembly today enthusing them about a trip to Borneo of all places. It's 4 weeks long and the cost is £6,500. Currently planned for June/July 2027 (just after her GCSE'S). They are expected to fundraise some of the cost themselves (bake sales, sponsored walks etc) but we will have to pay the majority if she's to go.

She said today that she'll get a Saturday job to cover some of the cost herself. But even with that, taken into account we just can't afford it. It breaks my heart, because I'd love to give her that opportunity but I know we simply can't.

She's full of excitement about trekking through the jungle and cuddling Orangutans. But how do I tell her when she's already set her heart on it? 😢

I just think the school are being completely ridiculous by offering such an expensive trip in a cost of living crisis.

Who the hell wants to go to the jungles of Borneo anyway ? Not me, for one !

My kids wouldn't be going on that trip either. How ridiculous. I would complain to the school. If they want to go there they go when they have a full-time job to pay for it or do a gap year and work for 6 months to pay for a few months travel.

That is a truly shocking amount of money, no way would i pay it. My dds school are going to Spain for 3 days and its 600 quid which I think is ridiculous.

Bloody hell! I took our family of 4 for 3 weeks for just under 5k.

I mean come on op this one clearly isn't hard. You just laugh and say don't be silly dear. She knows full well hardly anyone at school will sign up. Its actually quite bad behaviour of her to try and guilt you about it, she's old enough to know its obviously a silly sum of money and clearly not an option.

What everyone else has said above is correct.

BUT

If she is really truly desperate to go then she has a year and a half to raise the money. She will need to work hard and get a weekend and holiday job. She will need to save every penny from birthdays and Christmas.

She would need to earn about £360 per month between now and the trip. It's not impossible, especially if she can work more in school holidays, but it won't be easy. If she really wants it I'd help her plan for how she can do this.

That's outrageous. I don't think they should be allowed to promote/organise these types of trips at all.

just say no, we did, I don’t actually think schools should be offering these trips, too much for even doing pretty ok families (we earned £70k at the time, mostly him so more tax, £4K which her trip was was our whole holiday budget )

I'd do this. Tell DD I support her going to Borneo and run through costs of earning it through Saturday job wages.

Forecast how many weeks she needs to work to earn the money.

Tell her that even if she doesn't meet the deadline she will be on track to go at some point and every journey starts with the first step/pound earned.

Same here!!

Wtf!

Even if I was 100% financial comfortable I would still not pay this for a school trip. They get you to pay for the teachers etc as well which is another thing that annoys me as the school arranged it, therefore they should pay for their staff, not parents!

If I’m saving that much for a holiday best believe it’ll be for an amazing family holiday or three, not a school trip!

YANBU - unfortunately you’ll have to tell her no, times are hard but I still can’t get over that they asked for that much money!!

I think you should complain to the school.

I could afford it but never have agreed my kids spending that much on a school trip. I think it's ridiculous tbh. If you live in a deprived area I doubt many kids will be able to go. I'd tell her no straight away not let her harbour her hopes.

£6500 for a school trip?! This is insane! Also being away from home for 4 weeks is kinda crazy for most kids.

Sometimes chidren have to learn hard lessons and suck it up. When they become adults they will have the opportunity to work and save for what they want. Its called deferement of gratification.

When I was a kid (1950s) I never showed my parents any letter from the school advertising a trip or something which involved money because I knew the answer would be NO. When I was 14 there was a trip to Paris which was a wonderful opportunity. There were no cheap package holidays then and only rich people went abroad for holidays. However I knew it was impossible so I never mentioned it to my parents.

However that was not the end of it. I was top of my class in French and the headmaster wrote to my patents offering them a bursury which would have paid for the trip. My mother went up to the school and the headmaster did his best to persuade her to allow me to take the opportunity. He emphasized the cultural
advantages it would bring for me. Also the fact that it would look impressive on my cv that I had travelled and visited another country. Unfortunately my father refused outright to sign the consent form. He viewed it as "charity" and was too proud to accept. He also told me it would give me "unrealistic ideas above my class".

If the bursary had never been offered I could have accepted that there was not the money at home for such a trip. It was the fact that my father had stood in my way that burned. I told him "One day I wll travel the world and Ill pay for it with my OWN money" Saying that got me a battering.

Its fair to say that I never forgave him, I often flung it back in his face when I was older and I DID travel the world.

YABU.

These trips are run so that the kida take responsibility and pay for it themselves with fund raising, and usually the parents have to pay very little.

I went to a state school in a deprived area and they ran a trip to the Gambia!

It's 18 months away. £6500/18 = £361 a month, so with fund raising and a weekend job it is doable.

Just tell her you won't be able to contribute financially but will support her with the fund raising and finding a weekend job.

It’s not an impossible amount to raise - especially as this is exactly the time that kids can tap into an entrepreneurial mindset. I’d be interested to see what she could come up with motivated by sheer will to go on this trip. Don’t write her off too quickly as she might surprise you.

If she started a Saturday job at the beginning of Jan 2026 and worked EVERY Saturday until the end on May 2027, she'd be able to earn a maximum of £4670.
Thats with a generous £8 per hour (no minimum wage for school age children) and working 8 hours every Saturday.
Maybe that will put it in perspective for her.

There was some insanely trip possibility being discussed in DD’s high school as well back then, kids were really excited and most parents less so.

Then all the kids realised that by 16/17 they’d be able to have a much better trip in their own terms to somewhere they like and without teachers pestering them and there was en mass disinterest so the whole thing fell through.

I don’t know who the hell is coming up with these costs or these trips but it’s honestly insane.

That's more than I've ever paid for a holiday for a family!
I have a lot of respect for school staff, who usually do ana amazing job, but I can't understand who would authorise this. We rarely got offered anything beyond day trips when we were at school, and that seems fairer.
If my kids came home with this, I'd just be honest, and wonder if their school had got their trip mixed up with Eton's!

£6.5k?! That’s ridiculous. Mine are at private school (a relatively expensive one) and we don’t get offered trips that expensive. The more expensive trips are less than half that cost, and not everyone goes on them. A lot of children are told that they can go on one of the more expensive trips during their whole time at school, and they’re nothing like £6.5k! If you have 2 children, that’s £13k for 1 trip each. What are these schools thinking?!

I was going to say the same - we have a good household income and there is no way I would even consider that. I went to a comp in a relatively affluent area. Only around 15 of 200 kids in each year went on the school ski trip - even for well off families these things aren't affordable.

Agree with this, at 15 I well understood that there was no way that sort of money would be possible. Can you put it into context for her - it’s more than food for whole household for an entire year, it would take mum and dad 3 months to earn that money, and so on.

Theres no way my child would be going on a school trip that cost £6500 even if they fund raised for part of it & i woukdn’t be happy with 4 weeks either. Surely there will be a lot of people who can’t afford it?! My daughters trip is £1000 next year for 5 days & i thought that was bad. We are actually fairly comfortable money wise but a trip like that would still be a no

FWIW my brothers did some expensive sports tours when at school and they were so good at fundraising that my 2nd brother almost went for free.

For every £2 he raised, £1 was allocated to his account.

worth speaking to the school if they will do something similar.