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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Misunderstood Xmas gift

626 replies

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 10:42

Just for fun, what have you given as a Christmas present that totally fell flat and was misunderstood? My bad idea was a box of luxury crackers. It was some yrs ago, late 80s. Very cheap crackers were the norm and the luxury sort were more of a rarity. So I bought a box for my sister. She and her husband always had friends round on Boxing Day or NY Day, when she pulled out all the stops. The crackers would have graced any table. White with golden ribbons, they looked classy, and the items inside were so much nicer than the usual trinkets. Twice as expensive for half as many, it seemed the sort of thing many would like but would never justify buying. However, my sister decided that since nobody would give anyone crackers, they had to be intended just as packaging, so she proceeded to pull them all one after the other, and ended up with a pile of trinkets, albeit superior trinkets.

That's my best flop, but a close second is giving a friend a metal water bottle because she carried water in an old plastic lemonade bottle. So she now uses the bottle at home when the rest of us use glasses and carries on with her ancient plastic bottles outside.

OP posts:
sprigatito · 03/12/2025 15:32

butterfliesandrainbows2022 · 03/12/2025 15:30

I think i'll end up in here next year, As part of my gifts are the plastic can openers the ring pull ones( I love mine as my thumb was hurting opening pop ) and bag resealers. I do have more normal gifts to go with them. And in my defense I know they'll end up being used alot

My DH has milk carton toppers and bag clips in it this year! We love little gadgets that make life easier 😊

BetterWithPockets · 03/12/2025 15:33

morden123 · 03/12/2025 14:01

When I was about 9 (many moons ago) I went every week to a gift shop to pay off a Christmas present for my mum and dad, a little old man and lady in rocking chairs money boxes. Mum and Dad were only in their early 40's!!!, they had the good grace to not say anything bad

When I was about the same age (also many moons ago), my parents had a really ugly/supposedly funny figure (see picture when it loads) at home; it said Someday my ship will come in… and with my luck, I’ll probably be at the airport!
I found one in a similar style in a local shop; it was a knight, with a red feather atop his helmet. I was incredibly excited and saved up to buy it. It was ages later that my Mum, very gently, explained the meaning of the phrase that I’d taken completely at face value — Once a king, always a king, but once a knight is enough — and asked if I’d mind if they gave the figure to charity.

(It was years after that that I realised they would have hated the figure even without the dubious double entendre; it wasn’t their kind of thing at all. I don’t know why they had the original one — that must have been an ill-judged gift from someone too…)

Misunderstood Xmas gift
BeaRightThere · 03/12/2025 15:33

ConnieHeart · 03/12/2025 15:27

I'm still a bit confused as to why she pulled the crackers, OP. Is it because she didn't want to share them?

She thought her "real" gift must be inside one

NinaGeiger · 03/12/2025 15:34

Not Christmas but when I was a teenager I saw in the local paper that my favourite indie band were playing nearby on my birthday.
In the lead up my mum said "don't make any plans for your birthday! We've got something special planned!"
I thought it probably wouldn't be the band and tried not to get my hopes up but on the morning they proudly gave me an envelope with some tickets inside.
Oh my god! It's happening! I thought.

They were tickets to see Phantom of the Opera which I don't think I'd ever mentioned having any interest in.

friendlyoleary · 03/12/2025 15:34

Please don’t turn this into a joke about people with dementia.

Alittlefrustrated · 03/12/2025 15:35

MimiSunshine · 03/12/2025 14:37

I read the whole OP thinking it was about crackers you eat. A bit rogue but I see your thinking.
to get to end and it was table crackers you pull. That was a terrible choice of gift, even for the 80s 😄

Me too!

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 15:36

ConnieHeart · 03/12/2025 15:27

I'm still a bit confused as to why she pulled the crackers, OP. Is it because she didn't want to share them?

Haha, no. She thought nobody could be stupid enough to give crackers as a gift, so thought it had to be for the 'presents' within. She was very pleased with herself for having 'worked it out'. She must have been very disappointed with the contents.

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 03/12/2025 15:37

ErrolTheDragon · 03/12/2025 15:29

I’d have been extremely nonplussed by it too. Christmas cushions? Signed by grandparents? Why?Confused

DH was on the receiving end of a misunderstood present request as a boy in about 1970. He asked his parents for a recorder, meaning a tape recorder…

Yes, I'm afraid I think it's slightly spooky. If they had already died ... I don't know, I just somehow wouldn't want it sitting round.

I'm also not sure I'd want something I had written being plastered over a household object in my own handwriting without me intending it.

I always feel a bit awkward about those types of merchandise with Shakespeare's or Jane Austen's signature on a mug or mousepad etc.

But I guess we are all different.

LeaderBee · 03/12/2025 15:40

This reply has been deleted

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MaturingCheeseball · 03/12/2025 15:40

Mil mentioned a book she’d loved as a child. I managed to track down what I estimated to be the very edition she had and presented it on Christmas Day with high hopes. In a stage whisper she hissed to fil, “Why has MaturingCheeseball given me a book from a charity shop ?” Grrrrrrr.

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 03/12/2025 15:40

Every time I used to give my grandmother a gift, she would say "hmm.. ya... Its lovely. Would you like that now?" Id say "it's nice alright, it's a Christmas present for you gran". To which she'd answer, "Ya... you can have that so. See I wouldn't use/wear that myself. So you're welcome to have that now". And she'd stay smiling at me. Every Single Christmas!!!

Bloozie · 03/12/2025 15:43

Every gift I give my mum and/or dad is met with, "What did you get me that for?" They are the HARDEST people to buy for.

Flops have included:

  • A Spotify subscription they never used 'because we have a CD player' (bought because Mum mentioned that CDs are getting really expensive)
  • A SAD lamp for my Dad because he confided he was feeling low, and also struggling to read his book in his favourite chair because the light wasn't great. I thought two birds with one stone. He just looked confused when he opened it. It's never been used.
  • A bird box with a camera in, because Mum asked for a bird box. "Why do I want to watch them shit?" Never used.
  • Everything I bought Mum last year - she cried because she didn't know where she was going to put it (their house is very small, that's another thing, I have to buy very small objects or subscriptions. The things I bought WERE small, but not small enough).

They both say I shouldn't buy them presents. I've told them I will stop - genuinely - when they learn to receive them graciously.

Dollymylove · 03/12/2025 15:45

pottylolly · 03/12/2025 14:22

Lol I bought a set of 6 gin crackers for my sister and she proceeded to drink all of them on the spot. I think that was the worst Christmas as she passed out and lost bowel control in the downstairs loo & I had to clean everything up.

Oh dear. I am impressed though, at the delicate way you stated that she shit herself 🤣🤣

Theunamedcat · 03/12/2025 15:47

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 03/12/2025 15:40

Every time I used to give my grandmother a gift, she would say "hmm.. ya... Its lovely. Would you like that now?" Id say "it's nice alright, it's a Christmas present for you gran". To which she'd answer, "Ya... you can have that so. See I wouldn't use/wear that myself. So you're welcome to have that now". And she'd stay smiling at me. Every Single Christmas!!!

I would buy something for myself and accept it back graciously

CoralPombear · 03/12/2025 15:49

When I was in my first job and going through something significant at home (mh struggles of ex dp including several attempts for which I had to call in to work) one of the older women in the office thought it would be hilarious to buy me an alarm clock for secret Santa, bitchily implying I was often late. Luckily it sailed over my head and I pretended to really like it and kept it on my dressing table for ages but I had a v supportive boss who pulled her up on it on my behalf. I always make sure I know the person v well if I’m going to give a jokey gift now.

HungreeHipp0 · 03/12/2025 15:50

Bought a Liquorice bar (among other things in a hamper) Relative asked me why I'd bought her a cigar.

SapphireSeptember · 03/12/2025 15:50

My brother got my DS a singing chicken toy last year, with glowing red eyes. DS was five months old and it scared the shit out of him. He was trying to get away from it even though he couldn't move yet. 😅 Poor baby.

NormasArse · 03/12/2025 15:52

I sent my daughter a little hamper of nice things. A few weeks later, she said, “That bath bomb wasn’t very nice, Mum.”

Not surprised really- it was a hot chocolate bomb…

MaplePumpkin · 03/12/2025 15:57

Here was me reading “crackers” in the OP as like, biscuit crackers for cheese. I had to read it twice to understand 🤣🤣

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 03/12/2025 15:57

To be fair, if somebody gave me a 'gift' of a box of crackers, I'd wonder why the heck they thought it was a gift when it was something for everybody to share! What point is a gift that is for other people to enjoy in that way?!

I put a lot of thought into people's presents, but a while back I bought somebody a sausage roll maker because I know they love sausage rolls and that fell about as flat as a sausage roll that's been sat on by an elephant. I'll stick to vouchers in future!
We all get it wrong sometimes though, don't we? None of us are perfect.

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 03/12/2025 15:58

NormasArse · 03/12/2025 15:52

I sent my daughter a little hamper of nice things. A few weeks later, she said, “That bath bomb wasn’t very nice, Mum.”

Not surprised really- it was a hot chocolate bomb…

Good job she didn't use it the other way round!

dancinfeet · 03/12/2025 16:00

Ex H bought me something from Lush, not a gift box or anything, but a load of small
pieces of soap and some bath bombs which he then proceeded to wrap individually. My entire christmas gift that year looked like a heap of festive rubble under the christmas tree, no other gifts, just a pile of sickly sweet smelling lumps.

TinyGingerCat · 03/12/2025 16:00

A few years ago there was a panicked thread by another MumsNetter who realised the tickets she had bought for her DH to see Cabaret were actually a single ticket. She had (wrongly) assumed the enormous price was for all the seats at the table. I often think about her and wonder what happened.

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 03/12/2025 16:01

SapphireSeptember · 03/12/2025 15:50

My brother got my DS a singing chicken toy last year, with glowing red eyes. DS was five months old and it scared the shit out of him. He was trying to get away from it even though he couldn't move yet. 😅 Poor baby.

Something similar happened to us when our son was very little. In the mid-1990s there was some kind of bouncing toy that had soft spikes on it - it kind of bumbled along and jiggled (I think it was called a Bumble Ball now I think about it)- anyway, he always used to go mad for it in the shops, so we gave him one at Christmas and he totally freaked out - we had to get rid of it as it scared him so much.

ErrolTheDragon · 03/12/2025 16:03

Bloozie · 03/12/2025 15:43

Every gift I give my mum and/or dad is met with, "What did you get me that for?" They are the HARDEST people to buy for.

Flops have included:

  • A Spotify subscription they never used 'because we have a CD player' (bought because Mum mentioned that CDs are getting really expensive)
  • A SAD lamp for my Dad because he confided he was feeling low, and also struggling to read his book in his favourite chair because the light wasn't great. I thought two birds with one stone. He just looked confused when he opened it. It's never been used.
  • A bird box with a camera in, because Mum asked for a bird box. "Why do I want to watch them shit?" Never used.
  • Everything I bought Mum last year - she cried because she didn't know where she was going to put it (their house is very small, that's another thing, I have to buy very small objects or subscriptions. The things I bought WERE small, but not small enough).

They both say I shouldn't buy them presents. I've told them I will stop - genuinely - when they learn to receive them graciously.

Edited

If they’ve asked you not to buy them presents and get upset by them why on earth try to force them to ‘receive them graciously’ before you’ll stop?Confused You’re making this about you not what they really want.

my mother got to the stage where she genuinely didn’t want anything getting for her. However she had very little spare cash so asked me to get some small gifts for the staff of her care home instead so that worked out well. I don’t suppose there’s any charity or suchlike your parents support if they honestly don’t want gifts?