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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Misunderstood Xmas gift

626 replies

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 10:42

Just for fun, what have you given as a Christmas present that totally fell flat and was misunderstood? My bad idea was a box of luxury crackers. It was some yrs ago, late 80s. Very cheap crackers were the norm and the luxury sort were more of a rarity. So I bought a box for my sister. She and her husband always had friends round on Boxing Day or NY Day, when she pulled out all the stops. The crackers would have graced any table. White with golden ribbons, they looked classy, and the items inside were so much nicer than the usual trinkets. Twice as expensive for half as many, it seemed the sort of thing many would like but would never justify buying. However, my sister decided that since nobody would give anyone crackers, they had to be intended just as packaging, so she proceeded to pull them all one after the other, and ended up with a pile of trinkets, albeit superior trinkets.

That's my best flop, but a close second is giving a friend a metal water bottle because she carried water in an old plastic lemonade bottle. So she now uses the bottle at home when the rest of us use glasses and carries on with her ancient plastic bottles outside.

OP posts:
Idontpostmuch · 17/12/2025 12:13

Cornflakegirl7 · 17/12/2025 11:36

I didn't see the sense of humour in a secret santa once. I had been sanctioned at work for my hair colour, which was a bright shade of red (not pillarbox red, burgundy-ish red but unnatural still) and had taken to wearing something to cover my hair.

I was given a box of brown hair dye, cheapest of the cheap too, like what you might get in savers or home bargains. I am sure adequate to do the job for someone to want to dye their hair brown of course, but I didn't. And everyone else got a 'proper' present, there wasn't a joke theme.

Twice in SS I didn't get anything at all while others did. Not the biggest fan of it now!

Sounds horrible. In the article I read, someone was given a solitaire set with a note saying nobody would want to play with her. Glad I've never had to do it.

OP posts:
Cornflakegirl7 · 17/12/2025 16:03

Idontpostmuch · 17/12/2025 12:13

Sounds horrible. In the article I read, someone was given a solitaire set with a note saying nobody would want to play with her. Glad I've never had to do it.

We did it last year at our xmas do and I did to be fair, get a thoughtful gift (small bottle with two measures of gin, some treats for my dog) but I was still glad we didn't do it this year.

At the xmas do we were all called into a room to be 'given a gift' which was (drum roll) a pair of socks with our company logo on.

BIN! Well, more accurately, I gave them to someone else, not a fan of waste but wouldn't wear them in a million years!

Whydontyoujustfuckoff · 18/12/2025 22:48

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 03/12/2025 15:10

I once spent quite a bit of money on a meat hamper for my parents and they asked what they were supposed to do with it.

I also got my parents Christmas cushions with embroidered messages in the handwriting of both their mums that I had got from old Christmas cards and they were non-plussed.

That’s a lovely thing to do and it’s the sort of present I’d organise.
I do wish that someone would do something like that for me.

EvieBB · 29/12/2025 18:11

MimiSunshine · 03/12/2025 14:37

I read the whole OP thinking it was about crackers you eat. A bit rogue but I see your thinking.
to get to end and it was table crackers you pull. That was a terrible choice of gift, even for the 80s 😄

If you read it's original post, she explains why she got them and when (after Christmas) - so for that reason I thought they were a really thoughtful gift to help her sister make her New Year's table look nice with expensive crackers

TellMeItsNotTrue · 31/12/2025 14:50

I made my grandma a hamper, about 2/3 of the items were fortnum and mason or Harrods brand, the other 1/3 posh brands. My grandma thought highly of those shops and was in to posher things so I was really excited to give it to her

I hadn't just bought a hamper off the shelf, I spent a lot of time finding things she really liked, comparing reviews of whether this item is nicer from this shop or that etc

I knew 100% that she would enjoy everything in it, it was things she enjoyed but wouldn't have paid out for those brands

Got it wrapped in cellophane with the lid up so it was presented well

She barely glanced at it, I got a "oh, yea, thanks" response, didn't look at what was actually in it, my parents tried to point out different things and say it was fortnum and mason etc but she couldn't have been less interested if she tried

My cousin walked in with a bayliss and Harding set and you'd think she'd given her the crown jewels 🙄

Stopped bothering after that, focused on people that appreciate me

ItsNotMeEither · 31/12/2025 15:33

One year, when our four children were small, it was about three days before Christmas and suddenly a very large, wrapped box appeared under our tree. I have no idea what made me say, it, but as I passed through the room I stated that it better not be a bread maker (DH had been talking about them a lot lately). The kids all looked at each other and the big box disappeared, never to be seen again. 😂I did not feel guilty! DH obviously fancied some freshly cooked bread, but I worked full time and had four children. I can buy bread, really quickly. If he wanted fresh bread he could bake it himself!

Another year, back when those magic eye pictures were big in the 90s, the ones you had to stare at and go crosseyed to see, my mother bought my husband a book of the pictures. She claims she thought it said exotic pictures. You guessed it, they were all erotic pictures. The adults did have a really good laugh having a bit of a look and trying to work out what the hell each one was and the kids were too little to work them out. It was pretty quickly donated to a charity with our next clean out.

A secret santa one. I worked in a school with over 60 teachers. But this was between the Principal, the Deputy Principals and the executive office staff. Around 8 people in all, but two named Karen. I'm not even disguising names as I no longer work there anyway. There was a bit of a mix up and one Karen received two gifts and one missed out. Obviously, with only 8 people in the room, it was pretty quickly worked out who had made a genuine mistake and bought a gift for the wrong Karen. An apology was very quickly and genuinely given. The Karen who missed out was the Principal and nice Karen (one of the office ladies) happily handed over the extra gift. I forget exactly with it was, but it definitely included a very expensive bottle of gin and maybe some nice chocolates to go with it. As luck would have it, Principal Karen did indeed like gin, but she had a tantrum, told everyone she was not having a second hand gift that wasn't specifically chosen for her and that they would never be doing Secret Santa again. She then threw everyone out of her office and slammed the door. A minute later, her door opened again and the gifts were placed outside her door on the floor and the door slammed again. It was all very dramatic and although she wasn't the nicest of people at all, it was very dramatic and shocked them all. No guesses on how long the story took to leak and spread around the whole school. It really was a perfect reflection of her general demeanor though.

EvieBB · 01/01/2026 13:01

TellMeItsNotTrue · 31/12/2025 14:50

I made my grandma a hamper, about 2/3 of the items were fortnum and mason or Harrods brand, the other 1/3 posh brands. My grandma thought highly of those shops and was in to posher things so I was really excited to give it to her

I hadn't just bought a hamper off the shelf, I spent a lot of time finding things she really liked, comparing reviews of whether this item is nicer from this shop or that etc

I knew 100% that she would enjoy everything in it, it was things she enjoyed but wouldn't have paid out for those brands

Got it wrapped in cellophane with the lid up so it was presented well

She barely glanced at it, I got a "oh, yea, thanks" response, didn't look at what was actually in it, my parents tried to point out different things and say it was fortnum and mason etc but she couldn't have been less interested if she tried

My cousin walked in with a bayliss and Harding set and you'd think she'd given her the crown jewels 🙄

Stopped bothering after that, focused on people that appreciate me

Edited

What an absolute cowbag - that's awful - I'm sorry

SusanChurchouse · 01/01/2026 13:22

If it makes you feel better OP, I was given crackers for Christmas 2 years ago that I actually asked for! They were Taskmaster ones and I thought they’d be fun. They were quite good during dinner. In fact, one of my biggest hits this year was getting 1% Club crackers. No crap trinkets and even the teen, who doesn’t really like communal eating, enjoyed sitting round the table doing the puzzles.

TellMeItsNotTrue · 01/01/2026 15:30

SusanChurchouse · 01/01/2026 13:22

If it makes you feel better OP, I was given crackers for Christmas 2 years ago that I actually asked for! They were Taskmaster ones and I thought they’d be fun. They were quite good during dinner. In fact, one of my biggest hits this year was getting 1% Club crackers. No crap trinkets and even the teen, who doesn’t really like communal eating, enjoyed sitting round the table doing the puzzles.

I bought these for my parents a couple of years ago too (amongst other gifts), they didn't ask for them like you because they didn't know they existed, but they love taskmaster so I thought they'd like them and we all thought they were great

This year I got them the taskmaster advent calendar - they haven't stopped talking about it! If they do that next year I'd definitely recommend it, they are actually missing it now that it's finished

TellMeItsNotTrue · 01/01/2026 15:33

EvieBB · 01/01/2026 13:01

What an absolute cowbag - that's awful - I'm sorry

Thankyou ❤️

It's her loss, I've not bothered since, I focus on people who appreciate my efforts

At least my parents appreciated how much thought, time, effort and money I'd put in to it, and totally understand why I don't bother any more!

I just add my name to what they buy, all of us knowing that she will find something to moan about no matter what we buy 🙄

EvieBB · 01/01/2026 15:58

TellMeItsNotTrue · 01/01/2026 15:33

Thankyou ❤️

It's her loss, I've not bothered since, I focus on people who appreciate my efforts

At least my parents appreciated how much thought, time, effort and money I'd put in to it, and totally understand why I don't bother any more!

I just add my name to what they buy, all of us knowing that she will find something to moan about no matter what we buy 🙄

I can't imagine having a grandma like that - it's unbelievable! I'm glad that at least your parents appreciate you and support your (totally understandable) choice not to bother any more. As you say, it's her loss x

mondaytosunday · 01/01/2026 16:13

I’d have loved the crackers, as I often see beautiful ones but can’t justify the cost. Maybe you should have said ‘I thought these would look great on your Boxing Day table’.
@Aroundthebenda colonic irrigation voucher? In what world is this a nice gift? Even if he says he wanted to have one, it’s not something I’d appreciate getting as a Christmas gift!

ridl14 · 01/01/2026 16:49

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 03/12/2025 14:17

Our family chat is full of Xmas gift suggestions /requests.. I added in tartan pj's (flannel) meaning the soft cosy ones..
Christmas day I opened pj's and 2 flannels.. Ds was proud he'd found 2 flannels...

Hahahaha that is amazing!

Not so much the gift but my late mum used to like repurposing boxes while wrapping to hide the shape of presents. She gave one to my grandma - her mum - who opened it and got very excited about the lovely box of Benefit make up! She didn't hear my mum for a while saying "Sorry mum, the real gift is inside..." Poor thing!

LimeShaker · 01/01/2026 18:33

PinkSkies2026 · 03/12/2025 16:08

I bought my dad some Love Cheques. You wrote little things on them that you'd do as a favour. I'm not sure what I was thinking 😂 He had a partner and wasn't sure why I'd given them either.

Properly belly laughed at this - one of the funniest things I have read on here!!

Lifeofthepartay · 02/01/2026 09:35

ChloeMorningstar · 03/12/2025 14:28

Well if I am putting on Christmas dinner for people, I would most likely have crackers already, and be bemused as to why you would bring them without prior arrangement, and its not much of a present.

Are you in your 60's by any chance? We get this from MIL every year, not sure if as present, or as contribution to the Christmas dinner, but it's always either a couple of days before dinner or on the day, which means, invariably, I already had bought some or have a half a box from the previous year ☺️😂

Idontpostmuch · 02/01/2026 15:10

Lifeofthepartay · 02/01/2026 09:35

Are you in your 60's by any chance? We get this from MIL every year, not sure if as present, or as contribution to the Christmas dinner, but it's always either a couple of days before dinner or on the day, which means, invariably, I already had bought some or have a half a box from the previous year ☺️😂

@Lifeofthepartay Not sure if it's me you're asking, but I was in my 20s at the time.

OP posts:
MatildaEvergreen · 02/01/2026 17:11

Years ago, SIL asked for an expensive cafetiere. I was concerned about posting it as it seemed to be rattling round in its box and I thought it might break in the post. DH suggested stuffing the box with scrunched up paper, but I had what I thought was a genius idea. I bought a set of four Body Shop shower gels - the small ones - wrapped each individually and put one in each corner to wedge the cafetiere in place. And then I added polystyrene packing chips to fill the box.

SIL was not happy. Body Shop was a cheap brand and she was insulted I'd given her something from there. She thought splitting up a gift set and wrapping them as four gifts was "weird." Including the shower-gels had downgraded the main gift. She wanted to open the box and get a good vibe from seeing the lovely cafetiere, not open the box and see the cafetiere and four crap wrapped shower gels.

One of DH's cousins actually asked me if there had been a falling out between us and SIL as Body Shop shower gels didn't seem much of a gift, so I told her the main gift had been the cafetiere, which SIL had specifically asked for. Cousin was astonished, as apparently SIL hadn't mentioned the cafetiere, just the shower gels and she'd had the impression that was the whole gift, not just an "extra."

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/01/2026 17:36

MatildaEvergreen · 02/01/2026 17:11

Years ago, SIL asked for an expensive cafetiere. I was concerned about posting it as it seemed to be rattling round in its box and I thought it might break in the post. DH suggested stuffing the box with scrunched up paper, but I had what I thought was a genius idea. I bought a set of four Body Shop shower gels - the small ones - wrapped each individually and put one in each corner to wedge the cafetiere in place. And then I added polystyrene packing chips to fill the box.

SIL was not happy. Body Shop was a cheap brand and she was insulted I'd given her something from there. She thought splitting up a gift set and wrapping them as four gifts was "weird." Including the shower-gels had downgraded the main gift. She wanted to open the box and get a good vibe from seeing the lovely cafetiere, not open the box and see the cafetiere and four crap wrapped shower gels.

One of DH's cousins actually asked me if there had been a falling out between us and SIL as Body Shop shower gels didn't seem much of a gift, so I told her the main gift had been the cafetiere, which SIL had specifically asked for. Cousin was astonished, as apparently SIL hadn't mentioned the cafetiere, just the shower gels and she'd had the impression that was the whole gift, not just an "extra."

Hope it was the last gift you got the ungrateful cow!

MatildaEvergreen · 02/01/2026 18:03

Alas, no, there have been further under-appreciated gifts since then. This year she specified her favourite chocolates, and then complained because I'd wrapped them. Apparently wrapping these chocolates in Christmas paper is wrong, she was surprised she had to explain that to me. But this thread is about misunderstood presents, and those shower gels, whose main function was to reduce the chance of the cafetiere breaking, but which I thought were a nice, fun, thing to add were totally misunderstood.

NeedAnyHelpWithThatPaperBag · 02/01/2026 18:17

I bought my mum, who was probably in her fifties at the time, one of those wooden bed trays. In my head it was for a nice early morning cuppa/toast in bed. But in her mind it was for an invalid or a lay in bed slacker 😳. I can see that now, lol.

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/01/2026 18:19

MatildaEvergreen · 02/01/2026 18:03

Alas, no, there have been further under-appreciated gifts since then. This year she specified her favourite chocolates, and then complained because I'd wrapped them. Apparently wrapping these chocolates in Christmas paper is wrong, she was surprised she had to explain that to me. But this thread is about misunderstood presents, and those shower gels, whose main function was to reduce the chance of the cafetiere breaking, but which I thought were a nice, fun, thing to add were totally misunderstood.

I dont think they werer understood at all, I think she is just a bitch!

How is she SIL to you? If its your DH's sister or his brothers wife I would be delegating the task to him from now on!

I wouldnt get her anything she specified out of spite. If forced I would go to town with Harding and Bayliss haha!

EvieBB · 02/01/2026 20:37

MatildaEvergreen · 02/01/2026 17:11

Years ago, SIL asked for an expensive cafetiere. I was concerned about posting it as it seemed to be rattling round in its box and I thought it might break in the post. DH suggested stuffing the box with scrunched up paper, but I had what I thought was a genius idea. I bought a set of four Body Shop shower gels - the small ones - wrapped each individually and put one in each corner to wedge the cafetiere in place. And then I added polystyrene packing chips to fill the box.

SIL was not happy. Body Shop was a cheap brand and she was insulted I'd given her something from there. She thought splitting up a gift set and wrapping them as four gifts was "weird." Including the shower-gels had downgraded the main gift. She wanted to open the box and get a good vibe from seeing the lovely cafetiere, not open the box and see the cafetiere and four crap wrapped shower gels.

One of DH's cousins actually asked me if there had been a falling out between us and SIL as Body Shop shower gels didn't seem much of a gift, so I told her the main gift had been the cafetiere, which SIL had specifically asked for. Cousin was astonished, as apparently SIL hadn't mentioned the cafetiere, just the shower gels and she'd had the impression that was the whole gift, not just an "extra."

Gosh what a snob! I'd be happy with Body Shop (whether it was an unintentional 'extra' or not)! How rude and entitled of her....

KittyFinlay · 02/01/2026 22:45

PyongyangKipperbang · 02/01/2026 18:19

I dont think they werer understood at all, I think she is just a bitch!

How is she SIL to you? If its your DH's sister or his brothers wife I would be delegating the task to him from now on!

I wouldnt get her anything she specified out of spite. If forced I would go to town with Harding and Bayliss haha!

Edited

I never realised before Mumsnet that I was the only person who quite likes Bayliss and Harding. Some of the ranges are really nice. I never knew people could get so wound up about shower gel and bubble bath.

CherryRipe1 · 03/01/2026 05:45

KittyFinlay · 02/01/2026 22:45

I never realised before Mumsnet that I was the only person who quite likes Bayliss and Harding. Some of the ranges are really nice. I never knew people could get so wound up about shower gel and bubble bath.

Same! I quite like it and it's probably virtually all made in the same factory anyway. @MatildaEvergreenyour SIL is an ungrateful weirdo.

EvieBB · 03/01/2026 12:44

KittyFinlay · 02/01/2026 22:45

I never realised before Mumsnet that I was the only person who quite likes Bayliss and Harding. Some of the ranges are really nice. I never knew people could get so wound up about shower gel and bubble bath.

Same x

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