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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Misunderstood Xmas gift

626 replies

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 10:42

Just for fun, what have you given as a Christmas present that totally fell flat and was misunderstood? My bad idea was a box of luxury crackers. It was some yrs ago, late 80s. Very cheap crackers were the norm and the luxury sort were more of a rarity. So I bought a box for my sister. She and her husband always had friends round on Boxing Day or NY Day, when she pulled out all the stops. The crackers would have graced any table. White with golden ribbons, they looked classy, and the items inside were so much nicer than the usual trinkets. Twice as expensive for half as many, it seemed the sort of thing many would like but would never justify buying. However, my sister decided that since nobody would give anyone crackers, they had to be intended just as packaging, so she proceeded to pull them all one after the other, and ended up with a pile of trinkets, albeit superior trinkets.

That's my best flop, but a close second is giving a friend a metal water bottle because she carried water in an old plastic lemonade bottle. So she now uses the bottle at home when the rest of us use glasses and carries on with her ancient plastic bottles outside.

OP posts:
VeterinaryCareAssistant · 03/12/2025 16:03

EarringsandLipstick · 03/12/2025 15:20

I also got my parents Christmas cushions with embroidered messages in the handwriting of both their mums that I had got from old Christmas cards and they were non-plussed.

That's a wonderful gift, so thoughtful. I can't imagine why they didn't love it, I would adore it. Really good idea.

I thought they were nice too, to this day I've no idea why they weren't received with enthusiasm. 🤷‍♀️

Calliopespa · 03/12/2025 16:04

CoralPombear · 03/12/2025 15:49

When I was in my first job and going through something significant at home (mh struggles of ex dp including several attempts for which I had to call in to work) one of the older women in the office thought it would be hilarious to buy me an alarm clock for secret Santa, bitchily implying I was often late. Luckily it sailed over my head and I pretended to really like it and kept it on my dressing table for ages but I had a v supportive boss who pulled her up on it on my behalf. I always make sure I know the person v well if I’m going to give a jokey gift now.

Eek that is bitchy!😬Probably tried to pass it off as hilarious banter.

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 03/12/2025 16:06

ErrolTheDragon · 03/12/2025 16:03

If they’ve asked you not to buy them presents and get upset by them why on earth try to force them to ‘receive them graciously’ before you’ll stop?Confused You’re making this about you not what they really want.

my mother got to the stage where she genuinely didn’t want anything getting for her. However she had very little spare cash so asked me to get some small gifts for the staff of her care home instead so that worked out well. I don’t suppose there’s any charity or suchlike your parents support if they honestly don’t want gifts?

I think that's lovely. Mind you, it does mean you have to find more presents, I suppose - hopefully you don't mind that!

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 03/12/2025 16:08

Years ago we bought a cordless phone for DPIL. They were quite new and although PIL were only in their sixties they didn't get the concept. They were very polite but clearly couldn't see the point of it.

A year or two later other family members started buying them and all of a sudden PIL were busting with pride that they had been early adopters of this wonderful device.

Thirty + years later, when we were touching 60 our own DC bought us an Alexa. We persevered with it for about 6 months but eventually gave up. I didn't find instructing it to turn on the lights any more convenient than flicking a switch and I disliked the way any random conversations were suddenly reflected in all our online ads. However whilst it was up and running DS had loads of fun playing tricks on us whilst controlling it from his uni 600 miles away!

mcmuffin22 · 03/12/2025 16:08

InterestedDad37 · 03/12/2025 15:22

Bought my dad a cossack hat.
Only the younger me knows why. I genuinely thought he'd love it, and I could picture him wearing it. He hated it 😂 and it gradually retreated towards the back of the understairs cupboard.
I rescued it some time later, and wore it to punk gigs for quite a while 🎶

Our family have gone through stages of giving weird hats and weird musical instruments. Eventually theu all get used in some way if you leave them in a cupboard long enough and have kids who have weird dress up days at primary school😆

PinkSkies2026 · 03/12/2025 16:08

I bought my dad some Love Cheques. You wrote little things on them that you'd do as a favour. I'm not sure what I was thinking 😂 He had a partner and wasn't sure why I'd given them either.

ErrolTheDragon · 03/12/2025 16:09

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 03/12/2025 16:06

I think that's lovely. Mind you, it does mean you have to find more presents, I suppose - hopefully you don't mind that!

DM told me what sort of thing she’d like me to get on her behalf, so it was fine. Apart from the money it was a lot easier for me than her. ‘Gifts’ to elderly people of time and effort may be more valuable to them than stuff they don’t need.

JudgeJ · 03/12/2025 16:12

tryingtobesogood · 03/12/2025 15:06

My dad very proudly presented my mum with a washing machine for christmas one year. She did not talk to him for weeks until he arrived home with a nice piece of jewellery. Another year he bought her a second hand bike, not sure why as she never rode bikes and we lived on top of an enormous hill, but actually that one she loved.

Edited

For my 50th birthday my late OH gave me a Terry's chocolate orange, to make it worse I loathe them and he knew that! I think words were said my our daughter because for my 60th I got a DSLR!
Hw was clearly rubbish at present buying and always complained he never knew what to buy for me. I got fed up of hearing this so one Christmas I suggested that we each bought and wrapped our own present from the other and at Christmas the surprise was what you were giving rather than what you were receiving. On the 23rd he complained that he couldn't think what to buy for himself, finished up with aftershave.

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 03/12/2025 16:12

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 03/12/2025 15:40

Every time I used to give my grandmother a gift, she would say "hmm.. ya... Its lovely. Would you like that now?" Id say "it's nice alright, it's a Christmas present for you gran". To which she'd answer, "Ya... you can have that so. See I wouldn't use/wear that myself. So you're welcome to have that now". And she'd stay smiling at me. Every Single Christmas!!!

I read this in an Irish accent.

PinkSkies2026 · 03/12/2025 16:14

EarringsandLipstick · 03/12/2025 14:56

This is AMAZING! 😂

We need more detail here.

You later discovered....had you marinaded in them first? Or were you more like hmm these don't look right, I'll not bathe in them, perhaps Xavier got them in a cheap shop.

Most importantly what was the smell like? 😂

Inthedeep · 03/12/2025 16:14

morden123 · 03/12/2025 14:01

When I was about 9 (many moons ago) I went every week to a gift shop to pay off a Christmas present for my mum and dad, a little old man and lady in rocking chairs money boxes. Mum and Dad were only in their early 40's!!!, they had the good grace to not say anything bad

I did something similar. When I was 8, back in the early 90s I insisted on buying my own Christmas presents for everyone in my family. I saved up and everyone, even including Grand parents and Aunts and Uncles received an item lovingly chosen from the 50p shop 😂. My Mum’s was hideous, it was a little china dog, pulling a basket of flowers ornament. She was in her mid 30s and she really wasn’t a twee ornament type person. She kept it loving displayed (hidden away) in her bedroom ever since, until I told her this summer whilst decluttering I really felt she should bin it. She felt very bad, but no one should be forced to look at that dog everyday 🤣.

SapphireSeptember · 03/12/2025 16:14

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 03/12/2025 16:01

Something similar happened to us when our son was very little. In the mid-1990s there was some kind of bouncing toy that had soft spikes on it - it kind of bumbled along and jiggled (I think it was called a Bumble Ball now I think about it)- anyway, he always used to go mad for it in the shops, so we gave him one at Christmas and he totally freaked out - we had to get rid of it as it scared him so much.

Aww, that's a shame. I haven't got rid of the chicken yet, it's for ages three and over. If he's still terrified of it then I shall get rid of it. I'm now off to Google because I don't remember those at all (although in the mid 90s I was more interested in Sindy, Barbie and Polly Pocket.) 😊

honeylulu · 03/12/2025 16:16

I'm obviously an oddball because I'd love to be given posh crackers before Christmas. I tend to get cheapo ones as I feel I can't justify spending a lot on some cardboard and paper. A couple of years wealthy MIL bought us a box of John Lewis ones and they looked gorgeous on the table and the trinkets were really good quality stuff like a corkscrew, mini cheese grater etc which have been used a lot.

The Amazon fire stick one reminded me - our son bought us one for Christmas when he was about 12. They were about £35 then and he'd carefully saved up from his £10 per week pocket money. Poor chap thought excitedly that he had "bought" the subscription apps like Netflix etc. for the family. Husband discreetly signed up for a subscription (which we've all used ever since so it was a good idea!)

In terms of presents I've given which missed the mark ...
Most things I've given my mother unless she chose them herself (which i insist on these days). Worst was when we were young and only had our pocket money to buy gifts. We'd go into town and carefully choose with our limited funds and then when she opened them there would be eye rolling and muttering about "cheap rubbish". I have no idea where she thought we'd have found the money to buy her expensive stuff. Reading between the lines as an adult i think she was aggrieved because our Dad was too busy and important with his job to think about Christmas presents so she bought for us, for him and extended family and he got her nothing. I think her Christmas day sulking was her trying to convey to him that he ought to have given us a decent amount of money to buy a present for her. Once year he did and I can remember going to a jewellers to buy a string of pearls and the jeweller being suspicious about why a schoolgirl had this wad of cash. But it never happened again and next year usual service resumed.

CoffeeCantata · 03/12/2025 16:18

Parsleysalad · 03/12/2025 14:01

A box of crackers is a rogue gift 😂

Especially if, like me, you thought OP meant crackers for cheese! The trinkets bit had me scratching my head…🤣

WatchThisGladys · 03/12/2025 16:18

ContentedAlpaca · 03/12/2025 13:59

Another dementia one. I gave my grandmother a hand wash, which she then proceeded to taste!

A volunteer at my grandmother's care home gave her a bottle of Dove shower gel for her birthday. Grandmother asked her if it was made from doves! She might have been joking, but as she had dementia, I'm not sure...

fruitfly3 · 03/12/2025 16:18

@KittyFinlay I can relate. I spent 2 years cross stitching a beautiful sampler for my parents after they lost a vintage family one in a house clearance. That was 15 years ago and it’s sat in a drawer ever since 😱

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 03/12/2025 16:19

SapphireSeptember · 03/12/2025 16:14

Aww, that's a shame. I haven't got rid of the chicken yet, it's for ages three and over. If he's still terrified of it then I shall get rid of it. I'm now off to Google because I don't remember those at all (although in the mid 90s I was more interested in Sindy, Barbie and Polly Pocket.) 😊

Ah, see, that's just a boast right there that you're younger than me - ha ha! Wow, was Sindy still around in the 1990s? My Sindy playing days were gone by the early 1980s!! We did keep the toy for a while, but it ended up being given to my mum for her dogs to be chased around the garden by it!!

ConnieHeart · 03/12/2025 16:21

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 15:36

Haha, no. She thought nobody could be stupid enough to give crackers as a gift, so thought it had to be for the 'presents' within. She was very pleased with herself for having 'worked it out'. She must have been very disappointed with the contents.

I see! 🤣

ConnieHeart · 03/12/2025 16:23

My late in laws once received a wrapped Christmas present which they put under their tree. About a week later they could smell this really unpleasant smell & couldn't work.out where it was coming from. They then realised days later it was coming from the present. They opened it to find a selection of mouldy cheeses! The giver obviously hadn't told them to keep the gift refrigerated!

PopcornKitten · 03/12/2025 16:25

I was gifted A book along the lines of “The Worst ……..-insert profession - ever” after I had handed my notice in and was on work related medical leave.

Angrybird76 · 03/12/2025 16:26

NoKnit · 03/12/2025 14:25

Not quite giving but receiving. A gift I received was what I thought was homemade bath salts so I used them in the bath. I later discovered they were actually a spice mix for steaks/pork chops etc. I felt like a bit of a wally when I found out.

what a shame we don't have the laughing emoji now, this is hilarious!

asco · 03/12/2025 16:30

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 03/12/2025 16:12

I read this in an Irish accent.

So did I😀

I know someone who received a burial plot from her husband, he was genuinely upset that she was so pissed off as he thought it was a very clever and practical gift. Wonder how she feels about it now as you can no longer buy them in advance (we are in Ireland)

The 1st xmas DH and I were together we decided to buy each other a weekend away to somewhere the other person would love.
I bought a long w/e to New York as while he is well travelled he had never been there. He didn't exactly jump for joy when I gave it to him and it was apparent why when I opened mine.
Mine was for a hotel about a 2 hour drive from where we live in an area I had been to many many times.
We still laugh about it and while it didn't bother me at all, both families took the piss out of him big time when they heard.

Calliopespa · 03/12/2025 16:30

Inthedeep · 03/12/2025 16:14

I did something similar. When I was 8, back in the early 90s I insisted on buying my own Christmas presents for everyone in my family. I saved up and everyone, even including Grand parents and Aunts and Uncles received an item lovingly chosen from the 50p shop 😂. My Mum’s was hideous, it was a little china dog, pulling a basket of flowers ornament. She was in her mid 30s and she really wasn’t a twee ornament type person. She kept it loving displayed (hidden away) in her bedroom ever since, until I told her this summer whilst decluttering I really felt she should bin it. She felt very bad, but no one should be forced to look at that dog everyday 🤣.

Edited

I have a painted "thing" from a visit to one of those pottery cafes for a birthday party dc was invited to. I have "lovingly" displayed it in my bedroom and felt very proud of myself for being so accommodating (!), though because visits to my room are often accompanied by a little "DO you still like this mummy?" I get the feeling dc isn't quite voicing a disappointment that it isn't downstairs somewhere very prominent! I said to DH perhaps I should for a bit and he said he thought it "better not to open the floodgates."

theDudesmummy · 03/12/2025 16:32

I love the one where she marinaded herself in a meat rub! I have a very nice artisanal sort of lamb rub, it smells of rosemary and lemon. I think that would not be bad to bathe in!

honeylulu · 03/12/2025 16:37

Yes i liked the meat rub one too!

Though the most 😲 one was the sister who drank all the gin miniatures out of the crackers and lost control of her bowels. Oh dear.

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