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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Misunderstood Xmas gift

626 replies

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 10:42

Just for fun, what have you given as a Christmas present that totally fell flat and was misunderstood? My bad idea was a box of luxury crackers. It was some yrs ago, late 80s. Very cheap crackers were the norm and the luxury sort were more of a rarity. So I bought a box for my sister. She and her husband always had friends round on Boxing Day or NY Day, when she pulled out all the stops. The crackers would have graced any table. White with golden ribbons, they looked classy, and the items inside were so much nicer than the usual trinkets. Twice as expensive for half as many, it seemed the sort of thing many would like but would never justify buying. However, my sister decided that since nobody would give anyone crackers, they had to be intended just as packaging, so she proceeded to pull them all one after the other, and ended up with a pile of trinkets, albeit superior trinkets.

That's my best flop, but a close second is giving a friend a metal water bottle because she carried water in an old plastic lemonade bottle. So she now uses the bottle at home when the rest of us use glasses and carries on with her ancient plastic bottles outside.

OP posts:
Notthehill · 05/12/2025 16:27

@Idontpostmuch OP, I think people are giving you a hard time. I'd have bl--dy LOVED a box of luxury Christmas crackers! So useful! And much nicer than I'd probably have bought, so a real treat. As you say, I'd have used them on Boxing Day. We must be kindred spirits.

Katflapkit · 05/12/2025 18:34

CraftyPlayer · 04/12/2025 08:15

I must be weird, I bloody love panettone 😂

Me too. Toast them in the oven and spread with butter - delicious

ADHDdiagnosis · 06/12/2025 05:29

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/12/2025 23:27

I hope I havent opened a can of worms for you, the only reason I asked was because I had a similar experience. One parent goes off on one, everyone else tiptoes/placates and then we were forgiven for a crime we didnt know about and then all was fine......until the next one.

It did help to see the pattern as I realised that it was never about us but about her.

No it’s interesting really. Because these events are so impactful on children but I think the experiences are then not processed well because it’s confusing for a child.
I’m sorry you went through similar too

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 06/12/2025 17:04

I've thought about it for a while now and I actually think that a box of posh crackers (bang type) would make a very good Christmas gift for someone hosting. Especially when most adults tend to have everything they want anyway - it's like the present for someone who has everything. I certainly wouldn't object.

Calliopespa · 06/12/2025 18:36

Katflapkit · 05/12/2025 18:34

Me too. Toast them in the oven and spread with butter - delicious

Ooh I haven't tried that.

I might have it toasted with apricot jam on Christmas morning.

Nagicarp · 06/12/2025 20:49

Not me. But my late father. My late mother was obsessed with Health, and decided one year that she would really like a blood pressure monitor. As heart conditions ran in the family. She kept mentioning it for the best part of five months, and lo and behold her birthday rolled around and my father bought her exactly what she asked for. Push the boat out, and bought a really pricey one. But my mum was very much not happy!

GoldMerchant · 06/12/2025 21:09

DD loved baby dolls as a toddler. For the Christmas just after she turned 2, I thought I'd buy her a lovely, relatively pricey doll with fair hair like hers. It was a really nice doll and I was so proud that I'd got her such a lovely gift.

Christmas day, she opens up the wrapping, takes one look and says clear as anything, "I don't like this baby." Turns out she only liked dolls without hair that looked like babies. She did later warm to it, but it was never a favourite...

Puffin69 · 06/12/2025 22:21

MissDoubleU · 03/12/2025 14:20

A box of Christmas crackers is absolute WILD op 😂😂😂 Omfg

Not Christ,as crackers. A luxury box of the ones you eat. It was a nice gift at the time.

sprigatito · 06/12/2025 22:24

Calliopespa · 06/12/2025 18:36

Ooh I haven't tried that.

I might have it toasted with apricot jam on Christmas morning.

That’s how we have it, toasted with lots of butter and apricot jam. Delicious.😋

Theunamedcat · 06/12/2025 22:24

I bought DD a noo noo she loved the teletubbies so I thought perfect gift would be a noo noo to go with it

The screams 😱 I returned it

Theunamedcat · 06/12/2025 22:31

The exorcist doll was a particularly random gift from granny i wish we had kept basically great nan went to random shops and bought this doll she was sure my dd would love you wound it up it played a tune...and the head span and it creaked (it was polystyrene) it was simultaneously the most random and scary gift she had bought her (at the time) we left it at her house "for another time" the following visit it was "gone" replaced by the pink terror bear it had a horrified look on its face like this bear had SEEN THINGS

She was the source of many random gifts

SelkieDreaming · 07/12/2025 00:07

NoKnit · 03/12/2025 14:25

Not quite giving but receiving. A gift I received was what I thought was homemade bath salts so I used them in the bath. I later discovered they were actually a spice mix for steaks/pork chops etc. I felt like a bit of a wally when I found out.

I love this one. I bet you smelled delicious slow cooking in that bath! 😄

MissDoubleU · 07/12/2025 00:24

Puffin69 · 06/12/2025 22:21

Not Christ,as crackers. A luxury box of the ones you eat. It was a nice gift at the time.

I think you have misunderstood - OP did buy her sister Christmas crackers. She described them as fancy ones with nice ribbon but her sister assumed they were a funny way to package her gift, so cracked them all herself just to end up sat with a bunch of cracker trinkets in front of her.

realsavagelike · 07/12/2025 00:39

RamsaySnowsSausage · 03/12/2025 15:08

Aw, I thought the crackers were a nice thought. There is such a huge variety of crackers nowadays that are easy to get but back then they would have been a luxury.

My dad was a huge, huge martyr - he loves to go on about how hard done by he was so I would always try to get him really thoughtful, elaborate gifts to convince him I loved him. It took me about 30 years to realise that he actual hates this because it goes against his woe-is-me personality to have physical proof people love and care about him so I don't get him anything anymore. Final straw was when Guy Martin was big and dad loved him, so for birthdays and xmas's for a few years, I bought all the merch - books DVDs etc. But then I found them all in a cupboard under table clothes, as new, cellophane still on the DVDs etc. I KNOW he would have been absolutely busting to read/watch them but it gave him much more satisfaction to cut his nose off to spite his face and ignore them so he could keep on pretending he was sooo hard done by. Saved me £££ in the end. He also went on about wanting to go in a helicopter for years - family saved up and got him a voucher for a ride - he let it go out of the 12 month expiry date 😡without booking.

Then there was the xmas XP bought me SlimFast. I burst into tears 😂

I've had a couple of people in my life like this. So much better for my mental state to realize there would literally be no pleasing them so pointless in putting any emotional investment in their gifts.

2Rebecca · 07/12/2025 02:59

No bang type crackers are presents for the people you are having dinner with not the host or hostess. The thing in the cracker is the present not the cracker itself although if someone got me a box of Christmas crackers I would just think it an odd present and not open them all

ChangedWhoIWas · 07/12/2025 03:19

Back in the 70’s when I was a teenager and had just started working, Mum said she’d like some undies for Christmas so I got her some bright, floral full briefs (which I knew she’d like) and as she was lovely & cuddly, they were large Wink
My boyfriend turned up later in the day and admired her ‘new car seat covers’ which were said undies in a pile on the floor amongst the rest of her presents Grin

Bleachedjeans · 07/12/2025 05:01

FestiveFruitloop · 03/12/2025 14:46

Not me, but this just reminded me of a letter I read in a magazine once, where someone had bought their friend a nice glass spaghetti jar. On their next visit the jar was standing empty on the windowsill and the recipient said something along the lines of it was lovely but she didn't know what it was for.
'Oh, it's a spaghetti jar.'
The next time the gift giver visited the jar was full of Heinz spaghetti hoops.

i Find this hard to believe

PorridgeAndSyrup · 07/12/2025 09:12

SnoopyPajamas · 04/12/2025 20:02

You put the scare quotes on "relaxation" and I immediately assumed the candles were CBD. Were they? 🤭

(Please tell me they were)

Edited

😂😂😂 no, they were not! I put quotes around it because that’s what it said on the labels. That would have been funny though 🤣

FestiveFruitloop · 07/12/2025 10:56

Bleachedjeans · 07/12/2025 05:01

i Find this hard to believe

I wondered too tbh, but I chose to believe it because it's so funny to me that I want it to be real. 😂

Idontpostmuch · 07/12/2025 11:32

2Rebecca · 07/12/2025 02:59

No bang type crackers are presents for the people you are having dinner with not the host or hostess. The thing in the cracker is the present not the cracker itself although if someone got me a box of Christmas crackers I would just think it an odd present and not open them all

@2Rebecca You actually think cracker gifts are worth having??? You don't pull crackers for the gifts, but for the experience. It's a shared thing. Everyone gets a hat and hears the joke, and generally, the 'gifts' are fairly distributed, regardless of who 'wins' them. Homeware/tableware is often gifted, and some people like these practical presents. Crackers are simply tableware if they look good. OK, so they're transitory, but consumables are good for someone who doesn't like a lot of clutter to store. Remember she liked quirky gifts, and I think she would have been touched by the thought that had gone into it, had she not taken a batshit crazy wrong turn in her thinking. The funniest thing was watching her trying to look pleased with the 'gifts', which she must surely have binned. But seems as if you would actually LIKE them. I've noticed on this thread that those of you criticising other posters' unfortunate choices of gift, generally speaking, aren't joining in the fun by contributing stories of your own. Oh, but of course .......you're all so perfect, you don't have any to tell.

OP posts:
ABeerInTheSunshineMakesMeHappy · 07/12/2025 11:58

@Idontpostmuch
I think when @2Rebecca mentioned ‘no bang crackers’, she means those you can buy as packaging for a gift, or buy as a ready filled gift ie a cracker with a lipstick or nail polish in. So they are individual gifts packaged as crackers. It’s a nice way to give a small gift to somebody.

And maybe that’s what your sister thought you had bought her, but a whole box of them.

Calliopespa · 07/12/2025 12:09

Idontpostmuch · 07/12/2025 11:32

@2Rebecca You actually think cracker gifts are worth having??? You don't pull crackers for the gifts, but for the experience. It's a shared thing. Everyone gets a hat and hears the joke, and generally, the 'gifts' are fairly distributed, regardless of who 'wins' them. Homeware/tableware is often gifted, and some people like these practical presents. Crackers are simply tableware if they look good. OK, so they're transitory, but consumables are good for someone who doesn't like a lot of clutter to store. Remember she liked quirky gifts, and I think she would have been touched by the thought that had gone into it, had she not taken a batshit crazy wrong turn in her thinking. The funniest thing was watching her trying to look pleased with the 'gifts', which she must surely have binned. But seems as if you would actually LIKE them. I've noticed on this thread that those of you criticising other posters' unfortunate choices of gift, generally speaking, aren't joining in the fun by contributing stories of your own. Oh, but of course .......you're all so perfect, you don't have any to tell.

I love a bang!

Idontpostmuch · 07/12/2025 12:11

ABeerInTheSunshineMakesMeHappy · 07/12/2025 11:58

@Idontpostmuch
I think when @2Rebecca mentioned ‘no bang crackers’, she means those you can buy as packaging for a gift, or buy as a ready filled gift ie a cracker with a lipstick or nail polish in. So they are individual gifts packaged as crackers. It’s a nice way to give a small gift to somebody.

And maybe that’s what your sister thought you had bought her, but a whole box of them.

Unlikely because this was the late 80s. Also, the contents were clearly indicated on the box. She really did think I'd given them because of the superior contents.

OP posts:
Arran2024 · 07/12/2025 14:30

My daughter would only eat desert, cereal etc with a tea spoon rather than a desert spoon, and we were always running out. So as a bit of a jokey present I got her a box of tea spoons (as well as her other presents). Well, this did not go down at all well. She is on the autistic spectrum, couldn't fathom how this could possibly be a gift, and was in a right mood for the rest of the day. Of course she used them all the time!

BippidyBoppety · 07/12/2025 15:10

Many many years ago I purchased for my Mum (and Dad) a weekend coach trip from London to Manchester to tour the Coronation Street TV set. Mum never missed it, I thought it was right on point as a trip for them (they didn't drive and rarely if ever travelled).

She hated it, I had ruined the illusion .. the pub, the corner shop, all fake. Wasnt even polite about it when i picked them up at the drop off. She did have a nice time at the hotel, her brother and his family spent the evening with them, so not a complete fail. But i could have cried with disappointment, thinking how delighted she'd be ...