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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Misunderstood Xmas gift

626 replies

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 10:42

Just for fun, what have you given as a Christmas present that totally fell flat and was misunderstood? My bad idea was a box of luxury crackers. It was some yrs ago, late 80s. Very cheap crackers were the norm and the luxury sort were more of a rarity. So I bought a box for my sister. She and her husband always had friends round on Boxing Day or NY Day, when she pulled out all the stops. The crackers would have graced any table. White with golden ribbons, they looked classy, and the items inside were so much nicer than the usual trinkets. Twice as expensive for half as many, it seemed the sort of thing many would like but would never justify buying. However, my sister decided that since nobody would give anyone crackers, they had to be intended just as packaging, so she proceeded to pull them all one after the other, and ended up with a pile of trinkets, albeit superior trinkets.

That's my best flop, but a close second is giving a friend a metal water bottle because she carried water in an old plastic lemonade bottle. So she now uses the bottle at home when the rest of us use glasses and carries on with her ancient plastic bottles outside.

OP posts:
Bahhhhhumbug · 07/12/2025 15:33

Idontpostmuch · 04/12/2025 10:12

A really nice, thoughtful present. Your friend was very strange about it, also bitchy to tell everyone.

Thank you, l really genuinely thought l was being nice, certainly not trying to say she needed the eye cream. I would never have dreamt of buying a beauty product that was meant for 'correcting' something iykwim unless she had herself mentioned several times that she could do with a good tinted eye cream and admired mine but couldn't justify the price.
Lesson learned and ever since and never agan will l buy anyone such a product , even if they fly a plane past my house with a banner saying Bahh buy me this 😬😃.

Tarteaucitronmerinquee · 07/12/2025 16:39

Idontpostmuch · 07/12/2025 11:32

@2Rebecca You actually think cracker gifts are worth having??? You don't pull crackers for the gifts, but for the experience. It's a shared thing. Everyone gets a hat and hears the joke, and generally, the 'gifts' are fairly distributed, regardless of who 'wins' them. Homeware/tableware is often gifted, and some people like these practical presents. Crackers are simply tableware if they look good. OK, so they're transitory, but consumables are good for someone who doesn't like a lot of clutter to store. Remember she liked quirky gifts, and I think she would have been touched by the thought that had gone into it, had she not taken a batshit crazy wrong turn in her thinking. The funniest thing was watching her trying to look pleased with the 'gifts', which she must surely have binned. But seems as if you would actually LIKE them. I've noticed on this thread that those of you criticising other posters' unfortunate choices of gift, generally speaking, aren't joining in the fun by contributing stories of your own. Oh, but of course .......you're all so perfect, you don't have any to tell.

I’d have liked the luxury crackers tbh OP. I can never justify the price to myself but it would be fun to have them on the table with friends. It’s no different to an expensive box of chocs that you get out after dinner…It’s funny thinking of your sister ripping them apart though 😂 you must have been aghast 😂

Tarteaucitronmerinquee · 07/12/2025 16:46

Theunamedcat · 06/12/2025 22:31

The exorcist doll was a particularly random gift from granny i wish we had kept basically great nan went to random shops and bought this doll she was sure my dd would love you wound it up it played a tune...and the head span and it creaked (it was polystyrene) it was simultaneously the most random and scary gift she had bought her (at the time) we left it at her house "for another time" the following visit it was "gone" replaced by the pink terror bear it had a horrified look on its face like this bear had SEEN THINGS

She was the source of many random gifts

😂😂 but where did it go to?

Namechangedididittoo · 07/12/2025 17:11

Missingpop · 04/12/2025 20:35

Didn’t give it but received; some rather racy; very lacy & skimpy knickers from my then boyfriend’s eldest brother; I opened them in front of the whole family; they all roared laughing but I felt extremely uncomfortable
A. Because there were twenty 20+ of them
and
B. because what guy gives his younger brothers girlfriend skimpy underwear, it was extremely difficult to deal with; I soon split with boyfriend & never ever wore the underwear I burnt it it creeped the shit out of me

I can match that my ex partners dad bought me the same from a trip away

Idontpostmuch · 07/12/2025 18:36

Tarteaucitronmerinquee · 07/12/2025 16:39

I’d have liked the luxury crackers tbh OP. I can never justify the price to myself but it would be fun to have them on the table with friends. It’s no different to an expensive box of chocs that you get out after dinner…It’s funny thinking of your sister ripping them apart though 😂 you must have been aghast 😂

@Tarteaucitronmerinquee Thanks. Quite funnt, actually, and totally surreal.

OP posts:
Idontpostmuch · 07/12/2025 18:57

BippidyBoppety · 07/12/2025 15:10

Many many years ago I purchased for my Mum (and Dad) a weekend coach trip from London to Manchester to tour the Coronation Street TV set. Mum never missed it, I thought it was right on point as a trip for them (they didn't drive and rarely if ever travelled).

She hated it, I had ruined the illusion .. the pub, the corner shop, all fake. Wasnt even polite about it when i picked them up at the drop off. She did have a nice time at the hotel, her brother and his family spent the evening with them, so not a complete fail. But i could have cried with disappointment, thinking how delighted she'd be ...

Oh, that's sad. I know some Coronation St fans who loved the tour.

OP posts:
Endorewitch · 07/12/2025 21:01

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 14:19

Curious how the best ideas sometimes go pear shaped. Seems like a nice gift.

A lovely idea.

SarzWix · 07/12/2025 22:35

Choccyp1g · 03/12/2025 18:26

But how did your GF know what underwear other women were wearing....?

Kays catalogue 😅

Idontpostmuch · 08/12/2025 10:32

SarzWix · 07/12/2025 22:35

Kays catalogue 😅

I remember Kays catalogue. All the rage at the time 😄. @Ilovepastafortea My grandmother also born 1998. Now can't get the image of her probable underwear out of my head.🙃

OP posts:
Allseeingallknowing · 08/12/2025 14:51

Idontpostmuch · 08/12/2025 10:32

I remember Kays catalogue. All the rage at the time 😄. @Ilovepastafortea My grandmother also born 1998. Now can't get the image of her probable underwear out of my head.🙃

My granddaughter used to sit on her potty, ticking all the toys she wanted for Christmas in the Argos catalogue!

SapphireSeptember · 08/12/2025 16:17

CraftyPlayer · 04/12/2025 08:15

I must be weird, I bloody love panettone 😂

Same! My friend got me a pear and chocolate one a few years ago and it was lush. 😋

Calliopespa · 08/12/2025 16:33

I've just ordered my panetonne as gifts again - plus one for us!

I did make sure they had a decent box this time.

Calliopespa · 08/12/2025 16:34

Allseeingallknowing · 08/12/2025 14:51

My granddaughter used to sit on her potty, ticking all the toys she wanted for Christmas in the Argos catalogue!

Oh that's so cute!

MyMiniMetro · 11/12/2025 11:46

BippidyBoppety · 07/12/2025 15:10

Many many years ago I purchased for my Mum (and Dad) a weekend coach trip from London to Manchester to tour the Coronation Street TV set. Mum never missed it, I thought it was right on point as a trip for them (they didn't drive and rarely if ever travelled).

She hated it, I had ruined the illusion .. the pub, the corner shop, all fake. Wasnt even polite about it when i picked them up at the drop off. She did have a nice time at the hotel, her brother and his family spent the evening with them, so not a complete fail. But i could have cried with disappointment, thinking how delighted she'd be ...

That’s harsh. That’s a really good thoughtful present and the least she could’ve done was focused on the bits where she had a nice time.

I’m in psychology and reading this thread even has me baffled. The complete lack of normal socially acceptable polite behaviour in the face of being given a gift is astonishing. Is there really a chunk of society that were never taught as children; when someone gives you a gift, whatever it is, you smile and say “thank you how lovely”.

MaturingCheeseball · 11/12/2025 13:46

@MyMiniMetro - it’s quite baffling, isn’t it?

I once gave dh’s niece a set of children’s suitcases with added little presents inside them. Dn tore off the wrapping and said, “I’ve got these.” Bil chimed in with, “Yes, she’s got those. Can you take them back and get her something else?” I have trained my dcs never to say they have something already, let alone that they don’t like a present.

WizardOfAus · 13/12/2025 20:11

Calliopespa · 08/12/2025 16:33

I've just ordered my panetonne as gifts again - plus one for us!

I did make sure they had a decent box this time.

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

Calliopespa · 14/12/2025 01:17

WizardOfAus · 13/12/2025 20:11

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

We've just had some late this evening, toasted as a pp suggested and with apricot jam. Even better! 👌

Onlyhereforthebatshitneighbours · 14/12/2025 01:43

MyMiniMetro · 11/12/2025 11:46

That’s harsh. That’s a really good thoughtful present and the least she could’ve done was focused on the bits where she had a nice time.

I’m in psychology and reading this thread even has me baffled. The complete lack of normal socially acceptable polite behaviour in the face of being given a gift is astonishing. Is there really a chunk of society that were never taught as children; when someone gives you a gift, whatever it is, you smile and say “thank you how lovely”.

Sometimes teaching them doesn't stick beyond childhood - as my sibling proves!

Openmouthinsertfood · 14/12/2025 03:25

ChangedWhoIWas · 07/12/2025 03:19

Back in the 70’s when I was a teenager and had just started working, Mum said she’d like some undies for Christmas so I got her some bright, floral full briefs (which I knew she’d like) and as she was lovely & cuddly, they were large Wink
My boyfriend turned up later in the day and admired her ‘new car seat covers’ which were said undies in a pile on the floor amongst the rest of her presents Grin

😱Oh my goodness! That one made me gasp! How mortifying!

Openmouthinsertfood · 14/12/2025 03:28

Idontpostmuch · 08/12/2025 10:32

I remember Kays catalogue. All the rage at the time 😄. @Ilovepastafortea My grandmother also born 1998. Now can't get the image of her probable underwear out of my head.🙃

I presume a typo or your Nan is 27...

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 14/12/2025 03:57

When I was a child, I had a special ribbon that my grandparents saved every year and put on whatever my “special” present was. One year, a big, heavy box appeared with the ribbon on it! I was beside myself with excitement. Erm, it was a new piano lamp. I was the only one who played the piano, yes, but the only reason the lamp was expensive was because it was in the style my grandmother would choose to decorate her house. It stayed on the piano (long after I moved out) until my grandmother died.

Tarteaucitronmerinquee · 14/12/2025 10:03

MyMiniMetro · 11/12/2025 11:46

That’s harsh. That’s a really good thoughtful present and the least she could’ve done was focused on the bits where she had a nice time.

I’m in psychology and reading this thread even has me baffled. The complete lack of normal socially acceptable polite behaviour in the face of being given a gift is astonishing. Is there really a chunk of society that were never taught as children; when someone gives you a gift, whatever it is, you smile and say “thank you how lovely”.

Totally agree! I would never a dream of saying any other than thankyou !!!

Idontpostmuch · 14/12/2025 11:13

Openmouthinsertfood · 14/12/2025 03:28

I presume a typo or your Nan is 27...

Oops yes 1898.

OP posts:
FestiveFruitloop · 15/12/2025 13:58

MyMiniMetro · 11/12/2025 11:46

That’s harsh. That’s a really good thoughtful present and the least she could’ve done was focused on the bits where she had a nice time.

I’m in psychology and reading this thread even has me baffled. The complete lack of normal socially acceptable polite behaviour in the face of being given a gift is astonishing. Is there really a chunk of society that were never taught as children; when someone gives you a gift, whatever it is, you smile and say “thank you how lovely”.

Unfortunately there's a contingent on MN that will tell you if you expect any kind of pleased reaction or even a thank-you for a gift, you're being performative and 'a gift should be freely given with no expectations in return'. 🙄

Calliopespa · 15/12/2025 14:14

FestiveFruitloop · 15/12/2025 13:58

Unfortunately there's a contingent on MN that will tell you if you expect any kind of pleased reaction or even a thank-you for a gift, you're being performative and 'a gift should be freely given with no expectations in return'. 🙄

I kind of take that to mean not expecting a gift in return though? I think a thank you is a pretty basic minimum and surely the "don't expect in return" brigade don't mean a po-faced handover with not a murmur of thanks?

I actually agree up to a point about not expecting a gift in return as I have known a few people who have given (not to me, but they involved me in their thinking) in an attempt to sort of force-deepen a rapport with someone. I think in that kind of circumstance a return gift is letting yourself be manipulated. They were then hugely irate when the return gift was not forthcoming!

Generally speaking, however, it is nice to acknowledge a gift with a gift in response.