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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Misunderstood Xmas gift

626 replies

Idontpostmuch · 03/12/2025 10:42

Just for fun, what have you given as a Christmas present that totally fell flat and was misunderstood? My bad idea was a box of luxury crackers. It was some yrs ago, late 80s. Very cheap crackers were the norm and the luxury sort were more of a rarity. So I bought a box for my sister. She and her husband always had friends round on Boxing Day or NY Day, when she pulled out all the stops. The crackers would have graced any table. White with golden ribbons, they looked classy, and the items inside were so much nicer than the usual trinkets. Twice as expensive for half as many, it seemed the sort of thing many would like but would never justify buying. However, my sister decided that since nobody would give anyone crackers, they had to be intended just as packaging, so she proceeded to pull them all one after the other, and ended up with a pile of trinkets, albeit superior trinkets.

That's my best flop, but a close second is giving a friend a metal water bottle because she carried water in an old plastic lemonade bottle. So she now uses the bottle at home when the rest of us use glasses and carries on with her ancient plastic bottles outside.

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 22:47

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/12/2025 22:44

Bloody hell, this just brought back a memory long forgotten.

About 20 years or so ago I decided to make Xmas gifts. I knew how much home made gifts meant (still do) to my parents and sister/bil. So I made some preserves to make a hamper for Dsis/bil and knitted a couple of things for my parents. Took fucking ages and the preserves cost a fortune by the time I had bought all of the ingredients. They all loved them, I even made Victorian style lables for the preserves. I was telling an aquaintance about them and she said in a faux sympathetic voice that she was SO SORRY that I couldnt afford to buy them "proper" presents. I was fucking fuming but also really upset at the thought my family thought I was being cheap. They all assured me that I wasnt ( I did become a bit needy with the "are you sure it isnt crap?!" questions) My mother still uses the hot water bottle cover I made, so fuck that bitch! She was a snob anyway, as my Grandmother would say "all fur coat and no drawers"

"all fur coat and no drawers"

Love it!

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 22:51

ADHDdiagnosis · 04/12/2025 20:07

My father was crying one Saturday afternoon. He was saying that no one has ever bought him anything. That type of thing. I heard him from my bedroom. I was 12 or 13. So I gathered together my savings of small pocket money (I myself really did get very little) and I headed off down the high street to try to mend this sad man. I don’t know why but i decided to go to a very expensive little patisserie place. I counted my money and had just enough money for one florentine. So I bought it and carried it home in the little paper bag. I had never had such a delicacy myself and would never have dreamed of buying that for myself. He didn’t eat sweet things really but I wasn’t thinking clearly. I just wanted to do my utmost because hearing him crying was so upsetting.

I went home and walked up to him. He was in the living room still. I tried to make it casual and I said I’ve bought you this. He opened the bag laughed and said I don’t want that. And handed it back to me. He was not upset anymore. That drama had passed and he was totally disinterested. He said it’s not his type of thing. I think I ended up eating it myself over a few days. I savoured it but never felt right about eating it.

to this day I think of florentines as being the ultimate in luxury but I always have that memory connected with them so I don’t buy them every year. It takes a lot out of me

Buy yourself a box this Christmas, eat one every day and as you eat it tell yourself you were a fabulous little child to do what you did. When life doesn't reward you, you sometimes have to reward yourself.

ETA sometimes I do this if I've had a day that was really hard but would have sounded trivial to anyone else. I actually say under my breath "well done" the way I would to my dc.

Properjob · 04/12/2025 22:55

In my early 20s, for some unimaginable reason, I bought my bro a pair of white ceramic lions from an East End junk shop, the kind you'd put on a mantelpiece - if you were a Rasta, or a lower grade Sheikh! I was nearly as mystified as he was when he opened them!
Also bought exMIL expensive organic Neals Yard shampoo, for thinning hair...she was really offended 😁

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 22:56

Properjob · 04/12/2025 22:55

In my early 20s, for some unimaginable reason, I bought my bro a pair of white ceramic lions from an East End junk shop, the kind you'd put on a mantelpiece - if you were a Rasta, or a lower grade Sheikh! I was nearly as mystified as he was when he opened them!
Also bought exMIL expensive organic Neals Yard shampoo, for thinning hair...she was really offended 😁

oh @Properjob , the shampoo was asking for it ...

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/12/2025 23:02

The trouble with well meant gifts is that they do so often land wrong!

Woman moans about thinning hair.....buy shampoo that might help. Done with love but taken with offence!
Dad moans about not being able to lose weight....kids club together for a 3 month course of weight lose drugs and dont understand why dad isnt speaking to them!

ADHDdiagnosis · 04/12/2025 23:08

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 22:51

Buy yourself a box this Christmas, eat one every day and as you eat it tell yourself you were a fabulous little child to do what you did. When life doesn't reward you, you sometimes have to reward yourself.

ETA sometimes I do this if I've had a day that was really hard but would have sounded trivial to anyone else. I actually say under my breath "well done" the way I would to my dc.

Edited

Thank you. Yes actually I get chat gbt to tell me I’m doing well when I’m struggling. I’m about to tell it I finally cleaned my sons bathroom and I know I’ll get a very supportive well done!

WestwardHo1 · 04/12/2025 23:09

idkbroidk · 04/12/2025 19:54

even if you were young and clueless, it's such a mean gift :/ what if she liked her stretchmarks and wanted to keep them? or didn't have any? that wasn't a nice thing to do of you

Yeah well they were from ex i.e her brother as well, yet I was the bad guy. It wasn't remotely meant in a mean way. It was with some other nice pampery things. It was supposed to be nice. She was pregnant so we bought her some pregnancy related things 🤷‍♀️

Obviously I wouldn't do it now I'm older and wiser.

ADHDdiagnosis · 04/12/2025 23:11

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/12/2025 20:14

Oh that is awful, I am so sorry that your dad took your love and said "I dont want that".

I am guessing that this was not a one off....him being dramatic, someone pandering to him and then him getting over it until the next one?

I’ve never really thought it through but actually yes. Loads of drama. Mostly alcohol fuelled.
it was a pattern of behaviour.

ADHDdiagnosis · 04/12/2025 23:17

WestwardHo1 · 04/12/2025 23:09

Yeah well they were from ex i.e her brother as well, yet I was the bad guy. It wasn't remotely meant in a mean way. It was with some other nice pampery things. It was supposed to be nice. She was pregnant so we bought her some pregnancy related things 🤷‍♀️

Obviously I wouldn't do it now I'm older and wiser.

I don’t think that’s an unkind gift at all. I feel I’ve given that as part of a pregnancy pamper gift before.
it doesn’t make stretch marks disappear. It’s just skin cream to make pregnant ladies feel good.
I would have been very happy and grateful for that one. It’s all about intention I suppose. But I might have offended people without being aware. I have adhd as my name will tell you. And not the best judge of things

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/12/2025 23:27

ADHDdiagnosis · 04/12/2025 23:11

I’ve never really thought it through but actually yes. Loads of drama. Mostly alcohol fuelled.
it was a pattern of behaviour.

I hope I havent opened a can of worms for you, the only reason I asked was because I had a similar experience. One parent goes off on one, everyone else tiptoes/placates and then we were forgiven for a crime we didnt know about and then all was fine......until the next one.

It did help to see the pattern as I realised that it was never about us but about her.

RafaFan · 04/12/2025 23:34

Gall10 · 03/12/2025 15:14

No one is remotely interested in other people’s wedding photos….not even grandads! Sorry!

Really? Speak for yourself.

JungAtHeart · 04/12/2025 23:36

My Dsis and I had a tradition of buying one another the most hideous gift we could find for a fiver 😂 I fully believed that I had surpassed my previous attempts when I bought her a strange, mushroom shaped air freshener with dangly bits. I was pretty surprised when she opened it and absolutely loved it 😂 Later on, in the kitchen she told me that her MIL had bought her the exact same gift quite recently 😂🤦🏼‍♀️

amispeakingintongues · 04/12/2025 23:50

I bought my boyfriend a clothes steamer one year. I was convinced it was a practical gift since he complained about ironing so much.

and another year I bought my dad one of those foot peeling socks. They were amazing! I don’t know why I thought he’d agree with me though..

bodyofproof · 05/12/2025 00:20

My mum bought me a heated hair curler

i have naturally curly hair Confused

Bingbongbangbop · 05/12/2025 01:19

bumptybum · 04/12/2025 18:20

I don’t understand this:

However, my sister decided that since nobody would give anyone crackers, they had to be intended just as packaging, so she proceeded to pull them all one after the other, and ended up with a pile of trinkets, albeit superior trinkets.

What do you mean age thought they had to be intended just as packaging? And who opens crackers by themselves?

She clearly thought they were half a dozen or so gifts wrapped to look like crackers. To be fair, she seemed quite pleased with herself so I see it as a win. As we can see on this thread, there’s much worse gifts 😁

GrandmasCat · 05/12/2025 07:47

Christmas was not a big celebration for the in-laws, but the expectation for expensive gifts was huge (think about £300 of these days). In our first Christmas after the wedding, we were very very short of money so we asked if we all could go for something significative but less expensive.

We got then some lovely gifts about £50 each. All I got that Christmas was A set aluminium Christmas cookie cutters and I don’t even bake.

DrDisrespect · 05/12/2025 08:02

Ex DP, our first christmas together after dating around 3 months, bought me a new winter coat. Id been wanting one, saying id get one in the sales after christmas. It was my style, colour etc... Just the wrong size! He'd got a size 8 and I was a 12/14 at the time. I appreciated the thought that He'd remembered it was something I wanted. Managed to exchange it for the right size thankfully so no harm done.

A few years later, cant remember if it was christmas or birthday, he bought me a Kindle which I was really chuffed with, especially as I knew he was really skint at the time. He said he'd almost got me a new set of frying pans.. also which I said previously I wanted (in a general sense) but im glad he didn't!

CherryRipe1 · 05/12/2025 09:41

When I was a kid I bought my mum a china trinket pot with 'Mum's Pearlies' written on it thinking mum could put her pearl necklaces and other pearl jewellery in it. I didn't know it was for false teeth.😬

FestiveFruitloop · 05/12/2025 10:04

DrDisrespect · 05/12/2025 08:02

Ex DP, our first christmas together after dating around 3 months, bought me a new winter coat. Id been wanting one, saying id get one in the sales after christmas. It was my style, colour etc... Just the wrong size! He'd got a size 8 and I was a 12/14 at the time. I appreciated the thought that He'd remembered it was something I wanted. Managed to exchange it for the right size thankfully so no harm done.

A few years later, cant remember if it was christmas or birthday, he bought me a Kindle which I was really chuffed with, especially as I knew he was really skint at the time. He said he'd almost got me a new set of frying pans.. also which I said previously I wanted (in a general sense) but im glad he didn't!

My DH once bought me towels for Christmas (one thing we're very much not short of, but even if we were... 😄). Tbf he'd bought purple ones as purple's my favourite colour, and to him that's how you choose a gift that's personal to the recipient, so it was quite sweet and I thanked him nicely. 😄Sometimes it really is the thought that counts.

reluctantlogin · 05/12/2025 10:06

Not a gift precisely but a prize..
about fifty years ago my dad (a keen and good golfer) came home to the Christmas Eve chaos and presented my frazzled mother with his prize for coming first in Christmas Eve golf tournament. It was a very large turkey! I can’t imagine what use they thought that would be to anyone on Christmas Eve. My mother of course had her turkey.
In those days people didn’t really tend to have big fridges and I don’t think my mum had a freezer. There was no space. My mother had the genius idea of getting My dad to put it on top of the garage flat roof as it was cold and frosty and she couldn’t think of anything else… everyone else had turkeys already of course but it was a real case of waste not want not and she needed to think of something to do with it.
Christmas came and went and so did New Year’s. My parents began to have problems with the drains which were smelling badly.. Therefore they had weeks of investigation. The problem couldn’t be found. Until one day the next-door neighbour - who had been away -came round to ask my mother why she had a green rotten large bird covered in flies sitting on the garage roof…….
Still cracks me up

PleaseAccepyMyUserNames · 05/12/2025 11:50

We need a lol emoji ! Well, most of these are making me lol anyway.
A rotten turkey on the garage roof has really cheered up my day

fatphalange · 05/12/2025 12:16

WestwardHo1 · 04/12/2025 23:09

Yeah well they were from ex i.e her brother as well, yet I was the bad guy. It wasn't remotely meant in a mean way. It was with some other nice pampery things. It was supposed to be nice. She was pregnant so we bought her some pregnancy related things 🤷‍♀️

Obviously I wouldn't do it now I'm older and wiser.

I would’ve loved that even without the other things. I remember pregnant me 20 years ago hinting to my mum for some Bio Oil as it was way out of my price range! I’d have loved to have some bought for me from one woman to another.

ToeJob · 05/12/2025 12:37

KittyFinlay · 03/12/2025 15:22

Oh and my Mum talks a lot about how important cards are and how terrible we are if we ever forget to send one or it arrives late. One year, my husband spent 2 months cross stitching a beautiful Christmas card, assuming she'd keep it after Christmas. She binned it with all the other cards on Boxing Day.

There was a thread on here a few years ago from someone whose friend had brought over a handmade wedding invitation. She’d photographed it and then thrown in straight into the recycling, in front of her. She was genuinely baffled that the friend was offended.

CherryRipe1 · 05/12/2025 16:16

ToeJob · 05/12/2025 12:37

There was a thread on here a few years ago from someone whose friend had brought over a handmade wedding invitation. She’d photographed it and then thrown in straight into the recycling, in front of her. She was genuinely baffled that the friend was offended.

My friend did something similar with a nice Christmas card I gave her. She gave it a perfunctory look & cut it up into Christmas present tags & labelled up our other friend's present in front of me. Karma got her when she opened a fancy delicate Limoges style trinket pot I had bought her & sadly it had got smashed into pieces somehow. "Oh I love jigsaws" she sniped. Me & the other friend laughed about it for years.

SapphireSeptember · 05/12/2025 16:22

Ahfiddlesticks · 03/12/2025 18:30

Grandparents once for eldest DC, when he was about 18months old, an inflatable lama thing, bit odd but nothing awful and very him. He was absolutely terrified of it, full on screamed and cried any time he saw it. Was pretty hilarious to be honest. It went home with them.

Aww, it's funny the things that scare kids! (Or indeed adults.) I was in the shower the other night and had to shut the window (just had the little one open) because I got the heebie jeebies about woo stuff. 🤦🏻‍♀️