To think there is a definite surge in annoyance towards the disabled?

[WarySwan]

I have seen it in real life. Not just social media forums and news outlets where every other post seems to be about 'free money this for disabled' and 'free cars'.

My 2 children have autism. They get highest rate DLA. About £800 a month. We get respite care funded that costs the tax payer about £700 a month.

Just had an extension on our new build house, housing association, brand new bedroom and ensuite installed. Free of charge through the council.

Motability 7 seater car. 25 plate.

People seem to just see this and see the money. They do not see the costs that are present because of disability. The amount of time and resources it takes to keep 2 profoundly children at home.

They do not see that my children will need 24/7 care for life. 2-1 support in public. The constant cleaning and caring. Waking up at the crack of dawn, years on end. Cleaning smearing and endless washing. Endless marks on your body from a child who doesn't get that taking a chunk out of you will hurt that much and scar

Watching your eldest almost die as he can't speak a word or use a communication device. Meaning appendicitis went undetected until he was almost dying. The constant battle of keeping a cannula in his arm with hospital staff just not getting why a play therapist does not bloody cut it and he needs constant supervision that I cannot possibly do 24/7 without moving from the bedside. The weeks spend in recovery because of this.

If we do not or cannot provide this care, residential placements are about £40,000+ per month. Yes. Per month. It is eye watering in cost. That won't change anytime soon because social care is beyond shot to bits.

My children deserve the best life possible. And a dignified society should surely want to ensure this happens? Children who are not disabled and their parents have options. They have chances and doorways. Mine will never work. Never have a marriage or children, they won't even be able to cook a basic meal.

There is no overtime or upskilling for me. No situation where they fly the nest and I can focus on my career again. Unless they become some dangerous through no fault of their own that a 40k plus a month placement goes ahead as the alternative means I could die or be seriously injured, and that would mean they'd be at risk if I am literally unconscious on the floor.

They still deserve dignity and compassion. The chance of a good life. They are very happy currently. Good routines that are followed to a T. Safe at home because I have the resources to do it.

Care placement does not save money. Unfortunately. It would cost over ten times what I get in benefits.

I have seen so many mentions of people saying those on benefits should have no savings at all. Nothing. Really? You think my life isn't hard enough? You think I shouldn't be allowed a small nest of savings too?

When I finally drop down from caring, I will have next to no pension. After spending a lifetime ensuring the state doesn't have to take full responsibility for 2 adult men that will mean at least 4 paid members of staff are present at all times.

I am not just talking about MN. It is everywhere. Even 'funny' reels on Instagram targeted about how the disabled get this and that. How they should all drive a basic tiny car that has something written in bold to make sure everyone knows its a free car, as if they're really disabled, they'll use. That'll stop the chancers eh!

This is NOT about criticism towards PIP and DLA for things people deem questionable... even though they almost certainly dont have all the facts. This is about the blatant and not hidden disgust and begrudge of help to those with lifelong and profound disability

PEOPLE keep saying in black and white, no room for confusion in their words, that the disabled get too much. That it isn't fair.

I suppose this thread will get deleted. But a lot of views seem to be going unchallenged about the disabled that wouldn't be allowed if it was about something else that's suppose to be a protected characteristic. Seems to have quite a few comparisons with a certain country in Europe 80 or so years ago. When the hatred and deceit was being thrown around and brain washing people before not many years later, the public became okay with euthanasia of them.

Hell, I am sure we are already there for some. As I have seen with my own eyes, people commenting on MN and the likes of social media where their bloody name and pictures of themselves and their work can be traced, that euthanasia could be an option, ideally.

I've never known anyone suspect their child has severe autism from months old.

Disability benefits are non means tested.

Well then i have excellent news for you!

Since disability benefits such as pip and attendance allowance are not means tested, it doesnt matter how much pension they've got.

I understand the birth rate is currently falling which I think has (or will) cause issues in relation to elderly care, etc

That’s got nothing to do with disability.

I see your attempt to shoehorn the plight of Lucy Connolly and pals into a thread, and raise you an actual conversation about how many children SENd parents should be allowed, and how cost effective it is to support “violent unhygienic” men.

Ableism is real. The flag stuff is by comparison, nonsense.

I find the idea that any adult can seriously look at a disabled child and declare that spending any money on their education or welfare is a waste as they will never be able to 'contribute to society' extremely chilling and disturbing. Partly it's the callousness of dismissing any child, regardless of disability, as worthless, partly it is the inability to imagine that any disabled people could ever bring anything positive to the world and partly it is the concept that a child's value should be judged on their future earning potential. It is all very upsetting.
I was born severely physically disabled, with no eyes and multiple joint deformities. Fortunately, my parents did not decide not to bother much with me as I was unlikely to be able to contribute much to society when grown up. They fought tooth and nail for me to have the best childhood and education possible and it is thanks to them that I thrived. I did very well academically at school, got a first class degree from a top university and now work in a rewarding career I love. I also own my own home and, most importantly, am very happily married with a perfect baby. None of this would have been possible if I had been at the mercy of the kind of ignorant, inhumane and unimaginative people who would have considered spending money and time on me as a child to be a waste of resources.

It isn't bullshit. For some kids develop normally then regress and lose skills. You really should do your research before calling bullshit. Research that isn't found on Facebook.

I know several, though they were all second children with a diagnosed autistic sibling or had an autistic parent or close relative - that is the parents were on the look out and knew what to look for.

Yes but you also need professional evidence to support your claim, s
And by that I dont just mean I a" mum says" letter from the GP.

@IncompleteSenten
@SleeplessInWherever
@x2boys
But that is your philosophy - just like in Ireland due to Catholicism divorce, abortion, homosexuality were criminalised / forbidden long after other places.

Other philosophies - Utilitarianism - disagree; see philosopher Peter Singer.

I don't think people have any idea what living with disability is like. I care for my DM - she is visibly disabled these days but even that doesn't seem to make much difference.

What I have noticed is a massive rise in selfish people who do not want anyone to get anything they do not get.

They do not see that it is a small thing to try to make living with disability more accessible, to allow the disabled to live in their own home/with relatives. They do not see the daily struggles, the difficulties with normal everyday things. They just see someone getting something 'for nothing' and they don't like it.

Actually, they don't want to see, they want the disabled to be out of sight out of mind.

I wonder if it's the same people who spend their time crying about not being able to live on a 100k+ salary when others are struggling on next to nothing. A complete lack of perspective or empathy for the needs of others.

Sadly, it is far too common.

Then people need to stop judging those who have a 2nd child before they could possibly know their first child is severely autistic.

Plus the fact that yes, sometimes both children will be severely autistic but not always, sometimes they aren't autistic at all. It isn't a given.

How on earth would you know they were profoundly autistic at a few months old
All babies are non verbal for a start.
Even the panel that diagnosed my son at three couldn't tell me how severe he would be at that age .

@Everlore
Look at OP's description of her children.
That's what she says about them - it was them I was referring to.

I wouldn’t begrudge you any help OP, you need and deserve it. I guess annoyance might be directed at people who abuse the system.

You don’t. As my friend who has just been awarded PIP has found out. A well filled in form and a face to face interview was all it took. Her GP were not contacted (she did put their details down)
Even she was shocked.

What, my philosophy is that it’s wrong to kill disabled children?

Well. Pardon me.

A friend's DD has a rare neurological disability. She developed the same way as other babies. She gradually lost skills

You can’t claim PIP for the first time when you reach pension age. You have to claim attendance allowance.

The only payment we can get is ESA which is means tested if you have a private pension. We got some and then they took it back again! 😂

I think we can claim PIP when someone has 2 years left to live and I then suppose we could get attendance allowance at that time. Not something I want to think about tbh but may have to.

"German outlook"
It is a 1930s German outlook. Why deny it.

Euthanising,a disabled child is not a philosophy its murder ,
And its absolutely not comparable to divorce or abortion
Why stop at disability, what about all those prisoners on a life sentence should we Euthanize then too ,they are hardly productive 🤔

Exactly.

We had early signs - he didn’t make eye contact, or smile, or laugh. He didn’t copy/mirror adults.

But at the time, it could have “just” been a delay, maybe he’s deaf, do we know that he can see his family to smile at them.

By 2.5 he was diagnosed but with no real idea of what the future looked like, and then over the last 7 years the gap has just kept widening.

Do people really think that working in a job is the be all and end all of contributing to society? For fucking real? As if a) disabled people don't work and b) anyone that doesn't is a waste of space?

And this is supposed to disprove the OP in some way?

There's also this too.

Not every child with a disability has autism.