To think there is a definite surge in annoyance towards the disabled?

[WarySwan]

I have seen it in real life. Not just social media forums and news outlets where every other post seems to be about 'free money this for disabled' and 'free cars'.

My 2 children have autism. They get highest rate DLA. About £800 a month. We get respite care funded that costs the tax payer about £700 a month.

Just had an extension on our new build house, housing association, brand new bedroom and ensuite installed. Free of charge through the council.

Motability 7 seater car. 25 plate.

People seem to just see this and see the money. They do not see the costs that are present because of disability. The amount of time and resources it takes to keep 2 profoundly children at home.

They do not see that my children will need 24/7 care for life. 2-1 support in public. The constant cleaning and caring. Waking up at the crack of dawn, years on end. Cleaning smearing and endless washing. Endless marks on your body from a child who doesn't get that taking a chunk out of you will hurt that much and scar

Watching your eldest almost die as he can't speak a word or use a communication device. Meaning appendicitis went undetected until he was almost dying. The constant battle of keeping a cannula in his arm with hospital staff just not getting why a play therapist does not bloody cut it and he needs constant supervision that I cannot possibly do 24/7 without moving from the bedside. The weeks spend in recovery because of this.

If we do not or cannot provide this care, residential placements are about £40,000+ per month. Yes. Per month. It is eye watering in cost. That won't change anytime soon because social care is beyond shot to bits.

My children deserve the best life possible. And a dignified society should surely want to ensure this happens? Children who are not disabled and their parents have options. They have chances and doorways. Mine will never work. Never have a marriage or children, they won't even be able to cook a basic meal.

There is no overtime or upskilling for me. No situation where they fly the nest and I can focus on my career again. Unless they become some dangerous through no fault of their own that a 40k plus a month placement goes ahead as the alternative means I could die or be seriously injured, and that would mean they'd be at risk if I am literally unconscious on the floor.

They still deserve dignity and compassion. The chance of a good life. They are very happy currently. Good routines that are followed to a T. Safe at home because I have the resources to do it.

Care placement does not save money. Unfortunately. It would cost over ten times what I get in benefits.

I have seen so many mentions of people saying those on benefits should have no savings at all. Nothing. Really? You think my life isn't hard enough? You think I shouldn't be allowed a small nest of savings too?

When I finally drop down from caring, I will have next to no pension. After spending a lifetime ensuring the state doesn't have to take full responsibility for 2 adult men that will mean at least 4 paid members of staff are present at all times.

I am not just talking about MN. It is everywhere. Even 'funny' reels on Instagram targeted about how the disabled get this and that. How they should all drive a basic tiny car that has something written in bold to make sure everyone knows its a free car, as if they're really disabled, they'll use. That'll stop the chancers eh!

This is NOT about criticism towards PIP and DLA for things people deem questionable... even though they almost certainly dont have all the facts. This is about the blatant and not hidden disgust and begrudge of help to those with lifelong and profound disability

PEOPLE keep saying in black and white, no room for confusion in their words, that the disabled get too much. That it isn't fair.

I suppose this thread will get deleted. But a lot of views seem to be going unchallenged about the disabled that wouldn't be allowed if it was about something else that's suppose to be a protected characteristic. Seems to have quite a few comparisons with a certain country in Europe 80 or so years ago. When the hatred and deceit was being thrown around and brain washing people before not many years later, the public became okay with euthanasia of them.

Hell, I am sure we are already there for some. As I have seen with my own eyes, people commenting on MN and the likes of social media where their bloody name and pictures of themselves and their work can be traced, that euthanasia could be an option, ideally.

It's impossible to know that a child is severely autistic at a few months old. Complete bollocks.

Your last paragraph in particular nails it.

The OP’s situation must be beyond difficult and there is absolutely no doubt her family should be receiving all the help that can be provided.

How do you think professionals diagnose anxiety if not from someone reporting their symptoms?

This isnt completely true. I have family members who "have" fibromyalgia. There is no diagnostic testing for this. Both family members get pip. They struggle to get out of bed, walk, and do everyday tasks. Until theres something happening that they want to do or if they go on holiday. Then all the symptoms magically disappear.

YANBU!
My husband became disabled at the age of 48. Had to leave a job he absolutely loved. Benefits don't even make up a quarter of his old income.
We had a wet room put in by the council. Central heating done on a grant. Just had a brand new Motobility car ( althoughwe had to pay a deposit). Got to have something good come out if him being a cripple....
But I now have to carry on working full time for the foreseeable future- I'm 57 and was thinking of going part time when I was 55- but I can't now because paying the bills is down to me. I'm not in the best of health myself. DHs benefits just cover the food every month.
And we would give every bit of it back if he could go out to work again. We'd go back to our old,knackered heating and crap bathroom and 20 year old car so he could have a reason to get up in the morning and not feel he was on the scrap heap.
The people out there who complain about what disabled people get should be grateful that they have the luxury of being able to work, and should also hope they never end up in the position that my husband is.

Report them then.

disturbing, isn't it?
I know one thing, I'll be quoting it from now on whenever anyone on here claims that nobody has anything against society supporting what they call genuinely disabled people.

When my son was diagnosed almost 35 years ago autism was very rarely diagnosed. He is non verbal with severe challenging behaviour and associated learning difficulties. I remember being told by an educational psychologist that they didn't like to label children. His paediatrician said that she had only ever seen 2 autistic children during her career and they lived in a psychiatric hospital.
When I first started working in education 25 years ago I had to explain to the head teacher and teachers exactly what autism is. Now the same school has an autism specific unit.

Justifiable killing is a whole part of philosophy… what makes it justifiable?

There are plenty of philosophers who would support killing people who are unproductive in society, from prisoners to the disabled to the unwell to the old. It is philosophy.

We don’t implement it because it’s philosophy that has been almost universally decided against. But to say “it’s not a philosophy” is just stupid. It’s a philosophical outlook which civilised society has decided is not civilised.

The weather does help sometimes though. I remember my mum saying that the heating her her asthma but it actually makes mine worse

I really wish this was true but it simply isn’t. Someone in my family is this person, she knows the system, knows how to fill a form out and knows who to cry wolf to in order for them to back her

She was claiming for her “disabled” son, once he found out the extent of her lies (told DLA he was soiling the bed etc) he was mortified and told her to stop. She did and then within months was claiming it herself, even though she was previously a carer for her son. I cannot fathom how this is allowed

This woman also helped a neighbour of hers fill out forms, what to say at doctors appointments. This second person now receives PIP and DLA for a child who absolutely does not need it

if you don’t know these people it’s likely that you haven’t lived in social housing. These are the people that many are angry at. My relative openly brags about her brand new car and being able to park where she likes, she doesn’t need either of these things and it is beyond frustrating watching her bleed the system

OP and many others have struggled to get these benefits that they are fully entitled to while Bev on the estate absolutely knows what to do. I don’t envy OP and I don’t begrudge her receiving the financial support she receives, anyone one that does is clearly a moron

They don’t disappear, they’re managed so they can have quality of life.

My partner “has” fibromyalgia, and EDS. He spent 6hrs shivering in bed last Sunday with a migraine, nausea and all over body pain.

We also went on holiday last year, and he spent a day of it in bed because he’d just tried too hard to have a normal life.

He does also work and not claim PIP, even though he definitely could, and parents our disabled son. He does all of those things with great difficulty sometimes.

To think there is a definite surge in annoyance towards the disabled?

There’s a surge in annoyance towards practically EVERYONE OP:

• The disabled / their carers
• The elderly / boomers
• The poor / low earners
• The rich / high earners
• Any benefit claimant (even if working)
• Parents / SAHP’s / those with “too many” children
• The childfree
• Thin people
• Fat people
• Feminists
• Anyone with privilege (white privilege, pretty privilege etc)
• Immigrants
• Non white people (racism has exploded)
• Antisemitism / Islamophobia is rife and out in the open

etc etc.

Honestly I could keep going OP but you get the idea.

@usedtobeaylis
In reference to OP's children, she made it clear that they don't (and won't) contribute to society in any way.

Im not entirely sure the average office worker in a 'Bullshit job' is that productive either to be honest.

I support disability benefits and think they are essential to a compassionate and functioning society.

The bigger question is why do we have an ever growing number of disabled people in this country. I am interested to know if it compares to other developed nations and how they manage it. Has this been studied?

Is it our poor health care? We focus very much of treatment and not prevention. Or is it something else? Does the poor mental health in this country match the figures from other countries, i.e. is it a worldwide problem or just ours?

What are other countries doing about young healthy people with fragile mental health who feel they can't work?

I don't understand why some people have multiple children with disabilities and others have only healthy children. I am interested and would be interested in others opinions on it. But every thread about it ends up in a bun fight

Having been a mental health nurse ,professional would also be looking at non verbal communication, how a person presents,do they show any signs of being under the influence of drugs / alcohol
Are they clean ,have good self care etc ,etc. and this wouldn't be a one off assessment
Also anxiety can range from very mild to severe.

Exactly this.. or maybe it's all they can afford. Maybe they eat value range as well?

I dont even bother donating anymore, because all you hear is people turning their noses up at what's donated anyway.

My ds regressed at about 18 months after meeting earlier milestones and having some words/skills to losing them.

Then you've never seen me trying to get my child with severe learning disabilities into s car 😂

If I were a medical professional I would be highly offended by what seems to be a widespread belief that doctors, nurses, specialists etc are all so completely shit at their jobs that they are incapable of actually making accurate diagnoses.

Genetics. Sometimes random mutation but mostly, it’s genetics. Which is why some families produce multiple disabled children and some have none - it’s the genetics they are passing down.

It’s really frustrating. My oldest friend in the world is severely autistic. We were born on the same day and our Mums became friends. She is like a sister. I am the only person who she will make contact with. She still gets lost in the village where we grew up and where she still lives. Her parents are in their 80s and still caring for her. The future is a real worry. She will need some kind of assisted living very soon and the chances of her settling in that environment are very low.

There are loads of signs of autism in young babies. Including lack of smiling, lack eye contact, response to sounds, response to touch, lack of cooing or babbling, facial expressions, stimming… It is unlikely they would diagnose based on this because it may not be possible to rule out other developmental reasons at that stage.

I live in social housing and these people who are seemingly so open, obvious and proud of committing benefit fraud are only people I've heard about on threads like this.

I actually went through claiming DLA for my disabled son who actually does soil himself and writing he soils the bed in the forms isn't enough. Evidence needs to back it up so it seems odd considering her son wasn't even aware his mum had said that in the forms.

I had my sons bowel nurse provide some medical evidence. The fact that my son needs a bowel nurse at all is also evidence, without that medical evidence, I don't see how a child gets DLA because they absolutely don't just go on what is put in the forms.