To think there is a definite surge in annoyance towards the disabled?

[WarySwan]

I have seen it in real life. Not just social media forums and news outlets where every other post seems to be about 'free money this for disabled' and 'free cars'.

My 2 children have autism. They get highest rate DLA. About £800 a month. We get respite care funded that costs the tax payer about £700 a month.

Just had an extension on our new build house, housing association, brand new bedroom and ensuite installed. Free of charge through the council.

Motability 7 seater car. 25 plate.

People seem to just see this and see the money. They do not see the costs that are present because of disability. The amount of time and resources it takes to keep 2 profoundly children at home.

They do not see that my children will need 24/7 care for life. 2-1 support in public. The constant cleaning and caring. Waking up at the crack of dawn, years on end. Cleaning smearing and endless washing. Endless marks on your body from a child who doesn't get that taking a chunk out of you will hurt that much and scar

Watching your eldest almost die as he can't speak a word or use a communication device. Meaning appendicitis went undetected until he was almost dying. The constant battle of keeping a cannula in his arm with hospital staff just not getting why a play therapist does not bloody cut it and he needs constant supervision that I cannot possibly do 24/7 without moving from the bedside. The weeks spend in recovery because of this.

If we do not or cannot provide this care, residential placements are about £40,000+ per month. Yes. Per month. It is eye watering in cost. That won't change anytime soon because social care is beyond shot to bits.

My children deserve the best life possible. And a dignified society should surely want to ensure this happens? Children who are not disabled and their parents have options. They have chances and doorways. Mine will never work. Never have a marriage or children, they won't even be able to cook a basic meal.

There is no overtime or upskilling for me. No situation where they fly the nest and I can focus on my career again. Unless they become some dangerous through no fault of their own that a 40k plus a month placement goes ahead as the alternative means I could die or be seriously injured, and that would mean they'd be at risk if I am literally unconscious on the floor.

They still deserve dignity and compassion. The chance of a good life. They are very happy currently. Good routines that are followed to a T. Safe at home because I have the resources to do it.

Care placement does not save money. Unfortunately. It would cost over ten times what I get in benefits.

I have seen so many mentions of people saying those on benefits should have no savings at all. Nothing. Really? You think my life isn't hard enough? You think I shouldn't be allowed a small nest of savings too?

When I finally drop down from caring, I will have next to no pension. After spending a lifetime ensuring the state doesn't have to take full responsibility for 2 adult men that will mean at least 4 paid members of staff are present at all times.

I am not just talking about MN. It is everywhere. Even 'funny' reels on Instagram targeted about how the disabled get this and that. How they should all drive a basic tiny car that has something written in bold to make sure everyone knows its a free car, as if they're really disabled, they'll use. That'll stop the chancers eh!

This is NOT about criticism towards PIP and DLA for things people deem questionable... even though they almost certainly dont have all the facts. This is about the blatant and not hidden disgust and begrudge of help to those with lifelong and profound disability

PEOPLE keep saying in black and white, no room for confusion in their words, that the disabled get too much. That it isn't fair.

I suppose this thread will get deleted. But a lot of views seem to be going unchallenged about the disabled that wouldn't be allowed if it was about something else that's suppose to be a protected characteristic. Seems to have quite a few comparisons with a certain country in Europe 80 or so years ago. When the hatred and deceit was being thrown around and brain washing people before not many years later, the public became okay with euthanasia of them.

Hell, I am sure we are already there for some. As I have seen with my own eyes, people commenting on MN and the likes of social media where their bloody name and pictures of themselves and their work can be traced, that euthanasia could be an option, ideally.

I have not applied

Total respect!

I was born disabled. I have dwarfism, the same as Ellie Simmonds, but much less able than her as dwarfism affects people differently.
It’s an eye opening disability, the type where we’ve always been fair game and seen as a kind of freak show rather than disabled in any way. Told “you’re just short” by people who have no idea about the neurological conditions that come with dwarfism, the cardiac risks that are double of a person without dwarfism, the spinal complications that leave so many of us needing serious surgery at young ages, the fact we’re top heavy leaving us prone to those falls, so many things. The pressure on our leg joints especially, the bowed legs that need corrective surgery and the safety aspect of someone who is usually the height and has the hands of a 4,5,6,7 year old to manage an adult world. Big heavy pans with boiling water are my personal nemesis when I love cooking so much.

Many of us adapt and function, but at huge extra costs.

Anyway growing up living this life where I’ve turned up to an interview and had the managers actually sat there smirking and trying not to laugh, was at times incredibly difficult. I decided from a young age that I never wanted a disabled child, especially not one with my condition. It was and still makes me quite sad, but I had tests to make sure my baby was physically as healthy as could be. Of course they still get hell for having me as a mum, and it doesn’t guarantee that they will never end up disabled as it’s something that can happen to any of us.

So no, you’re not being unreasonable. It’s always been there for a few of us and now it’s worse than ever for most of us. Having a child in this current world feels so many of us with dread let alone a child with lifelong extra needs.

I have a disabled DC but YABU because not everyone in receipt of disability benefits has the same level of need. I know people with successful careers and families who have applied for DLA as soon as they have received an autism diagnosis. I know one successful head teacher who got an autism diagnosis two years ago and now claims her husband is her carer whenever she goes anywhere to get him in free. People are exploiting the system.

I hope it doesn’t sound patronising but I have enormous admiration for you. I don’t think anyone could possibly object to you receiving the benefits or help you do receive, or would object to you getting much more support.

But not everyone receiving benefits is in a situation anything like yours. Unfortunately some people play the system to get benefits they do not really need. Don’t tell me this doesn’t happen because I’ve seen it many times. I used to work for Citizens' Advice and have seen clients come on their own to interviews, argue cogently and articulately about their rights, but fill in forms claiming that they are unable to do any kind of work (often because they say they can’t cope with the stress). I often challenged them but had to do my duty to my job and help them as they requested, which involved virtually telling them what they needed to say they were incapable of doing, to get the necessary points which would add up to qualifying for the benefit. I've experienced people telling me openly that they just don’t want to get a job and prefer their life as it is because they don’t like getting up early.

Of course people like you deserve and need your benefits, in fact deserve and need higher benefits. But not all benefits claimants are like you.

You can lie to psychologists too.

Well, ultimately the answer will be that the entire system collapses because too many people taking the piss.

That will mean that you and your boys get nothing, because they’ll be nothing left to give and all the higher we’ve decided to naff off to a different country or reduce their hours. And when the government runs out of other peoples money to pay for things with, the government will shrug his shoulders throw it in the air and say ‘well what can you do’. And when the money runs out it won’t mean that your boys go to respite care, or some sort of government placement, it will be so bad that the government will just look at you and say, ‘well you’re the one who had them and you have to provide’.

people do not begrudge those who are genuinely disabled unable to work, however there are many many many people on benefits who could work and simply don’t want to. And the problem isn’t going to get any better unless people speak up and say it’s not on.

So in order to save the benefit system, and make sure that your boys and those like them are actually cared for in the long-term, there needs to be an adjustment.

redoing the entire system would actually mean that it got better-because the state it’s in right now isn’t working for anybody. But part of that is going to mean that those who could actually work or forced to do so, and the only way to do that is to cut them off. At the same time there needs to be a massive push to ensure that jobs are there for them, and the accommodations are made for them. But at the end of the day if you’re capable of working, you should be working and if you’re capable of supplying things for yourself, you shouldn’t be getting them for free.

Would you reverse that?

@Bobiverse
Thanks that's an interesting hypothetical solution.

What level between the 40% of indeterminate SEN currently in Scotland, and my dystopian 90% severe SEN level do you personally think it should start being suggested, and secondly mandated?

Where is your evidence for the "huge swathe" of people? That sounds like an opinion, not a fact. You would need some reliable stats to really know if that is the case.

On the flip side, I had someone attempt to fill my form in who missed out a lot of information. He even claimed he knew what Autism is and it doesn't affect me. I have a diagnosis because I was struggling

40% ASN (not SEN) in Scotland. One of biggest causes of ASN is English as an additional language which is nothing to do with disability. Other reasons include bereavement, parents divorce, edge of care, family circumstances, interrupted learning…

PIPand DLA are needed by disabled people, I have 2 ASD children and it was a godsend when they were little, we couldn't claim after 16 as they had attended a normal school but they are well thriving and working full time. People who look after children like you are what it was designed for and should support you.

However, there are many, many people who abuse the system, as an ex teacher, I knew of several families who claimed the child had disabilities they clearly didn't have, there was a woman on the estate who filled in paperwork for £50 and knew exactly what to write to get the maximum amount. I could write about many examples but I won't as it gets me quite mad

Social media shows people how to claim PIP, then they boast of what they can get, I have even seen FB groups telling you what to write and how to appeal if you your claim fails.

The system needs reforming so that it helps the right people, such as yourself and stops people who don't need it.

You’re just going on about ridiculous things to avoid saying “I think they should be killed” because it’s clear you think they’re a waste of space.

The majority of those 40% of kids will be working. I live in Scotland. My kids go to the high school that takes in all SEN kids from the surrounding area because it has a massive pupil support department. My son is one of those kids. He’ll have absolutely no problem working, as will the the majority of his peers with SEN.

A diagnosis of autism or similar is a huge spectrum, and only a few cannot work due to it. You don’t have to worry about the 40% figure. Stop using straw man arguments to avoid answering a question you’re only being asked because you gave your opinion - you think disabled people get too much. What do you think should be done?

Do you genuinely as high a proportion of people as are claiming disability benefits are as severely, long term disabled as your DC?

Most people's objection is not with the level of funding received by those who are severely disabled.

It is with the broadening of the term "disabled" to encompass anyone with any level of difficulty. Someone referred to my mother as "disabled" recently because she uses hearing aids. It was suggested she get a blue badge! She walks miles and has no issues at all with daily life. Her hearing aids do a great job.

There are a huge number of people who are much more mildly "disabled" than your DC. They truly believe they are very disabled and unable to work - these are not fraudulent claims per se.

They have successfully got pip, often through fighting multiple rejections etc, often by describing their conditions on "their worst day", even if that is a very rare occurence. They have been to their doctors for years and years which creates a medical paper trail of self reported symptoms many of which can't be evidenced through clinical testing. There are now a vast number of websites and advisors who have studied the guidance and law very carefully and know exactly how to phrase a claim to give the greatest chance of meeting requirements - many of these people give advice on here and give very specific examples of phrases that will or won't qualify.

Most people's concern is that the breadth of working age people now receiving supports limits what can be provided to those much more severely disabled. Furthermore, we risk (as a society), medicalising a normal level of variety and challenge in our lives. Being out of work and dependent on disability benefits doesn't actually improve things, especially for those with poor mental health.

Its genuinely not good for most people to not work (the vast majority on pip do not). Work gives people purpose, confidence, support networks, much better finances.

A decent proportion of pip recipients are in work when they apply, and stop when they receive pip - which suggests they use it to fund stopping work. But we don't see good evidence to show that a period on pip helps someone recover and return to work - so is it actually helping them long term?

Oh wow. Now that is ‘judgy’!
Maybe they are lovely people who want to help, but that’s all they can afford?!

Seriously, in the world right now just about EVERYTHING anyone does is judged. When did we become this?

I'm in the same boat
But mine are adults and will most likely never live independently,they don't leave the house .
We haven't taken up the mobility scheme despite being entitled to it , because if they were eventually to manage in a flat with support from social services,there would be no money for a car ..
The mobility scheme is great when the person is in a family with extra money coming in
But as a single disabled male in a flat ,that money needs to go on bills ,there isn't enough to have a car and pay your gas electricity ect .
So the benefits are not as great as everyone thinks
We have added up his benefits many times and tried to work out how he would live independently..and without huge financial help from us ,it won't happen.
He has a package of care from social services waiting for if he ever feels he wants to try being independent in a flat ,but we can't make the money cover what he would need .
Plus he doesn't want to ,and I don't think the care package social are offering is enough to keep him safe ...for example he has turned all the gas on in the middle of the night in the past ..as an example.
Op ,it is difficult.and people don't understand unless they are in the same situation themselves

This is true.
However I think the key point is that it happened after the financial crash, when unemployment rocketed, the job market became more demanding and competitive, and wages vs cost of living dropped. Things have never gone back to how they were before.

Typed in error

About 30℅ of people with Autism are in work. Hardly only a few who can't work

There is a section in the British war museum in London about this. I didn't know until more recent years. It was heart breaking to read. Families sent their disabled children off, thinking they were going to what I guess was supported living/help facilities, promised a great life and they were murdered. Horrific.

You are correct and it absolutely includes those with profound disabilities.

My son is disabled too and I've had several awful comments on here about him.

Disgust that he's in mainstream school because he's incontinent
Told that I should move to a very small house in the cheapest location so I wouldn't need UC
Told that he doesn't deserve to be supported by the state because he probably won't be a tax payer one day

etc it goes on and on.

Honestly, I applaud the system where there is need for it. In your situation I am enormously glad there is support for you and your children and would expect no less.

A friend of mine receives almost £1000 a month because she received a private diagnosis of ADHD for her 3 children. I see them every day, look after them regularly (childcare) and truly struggle to see a problem. Except of course when they are overtired or hyped up on sugar. There is no masking, their normal behaviour is what my friend points out as their ‘ADHD’. Wanting to climb trees, and not sitting down at dinner!

Shes using the money to tutor the two older kids through 11+ as they’re very academic.

That is a shit show.

Agree 100%

As a teacher you should know better ,people can claim that their child has X,y,Z conditions, but without evidence including from school they are not going to get very far with it ,
And the women on the estate can write whatever she wants but again without evidence ( professional evidence ) it means Jack shit.