To think there is a definite surge in annoyance towards the disabled?

[WarySwan]

I have seen it in real life. Not just social media forums and news outlets where every other post seems to be about 'free money this for disabled' and 'free cars'.

My 2 children have autism. They get highest rate DLA. About £800 a month. We get respite care funded that costs the tax payer about £700 a month.

Just had an extension on our new build house, housing association, brand new bedroom and ensuite installed. Free of charge through the council.

Motability 7 seater car. 25 plate.

People seem to just see this and see the money. They do not see the costs that are present because of disability. The amount of time and resources it takes to keep 2 profoundly children at home.

They do not see that my children will need 24/7 care for life. 2-1 support in public. The constant cleaning and caring. Waking up at the crack of dawn, years on end. Cleaning smearing and endless washing. Endless marks on your body from a child who doesn't get that taking a chunk out of you will hurt that much and scar

Watching your eldest almost die as he can't speak a word or use a communication device. Meaning appendicitis went undetected until he was almost dying. The constant battle of keeping a cannula in his arm with hospital staff just not getting why a play therapist does not bloody cut it and he needs constant supervision that I cannot possibly do 24/7 without moving from the bedside. The weeks spend in recovery because of this.

If we do not or cannot provide this care, residential placements are about £40,000+ per month. Yes. Per month. It is eye watering in cost. That won't change anytime soon because social care is beyond shot to bits.

My children deserve the best life possible. And a dignified society should surely want to ensure this happens? Children who are not disabled and their parents have options. They have chances and doorways. Mine will never work. Never have a marriage or children, they won't even be able to cook a basic meal.

There is no overtime or upskilling for me. No situation where they fly the nest and I can focus on my career again. Unless they become some dangerous through no fault of their own that a 40k plus a month placement goes ahead as the alternative means I could die or be seriously injured, and that would mean they'd be at risk if I am literally unconscious on the floor.

They still deserve dignity and compassion. The chance of a good life. They are very happy currently. Good routines that are followed to a T. Safe at home because I have the resources to do it.

Care placement does not save money. Unfortunately. It would cost over ten times what I get in benefits.

I have seen so many mentions of people saying those on benefits should have no savings at all. Nothing. Really? You think my life isn't hard enough? You think I shouldn't be allowed a small nest of savings too?

When I finally drop down from caring, I will have next to no pension. After spending a lifetime ensuring the state doesn't have to take full responsibility for 2 adult men that will mean at least 4 paid members of staff are present at all times.

I am not just talking about MN. It is everywhere. Even 'funny' reels on Instagram targeted about how the disabled get this and that. How they should all drive a basic tiny car that has something written in bold to make sure everyone knows its a free car, as if they're really disabled, they'll use. That'll stop the chancers eh!

This is NOT about criticism towards PIP and DLA for things people deem questionable... even though they almost certainly dont have all the facts. This is about the blatant and not hidden disgust and begrudge of help to those with lifelong and profound disability

PEOPLE keep saying in black and white, no room for confusion in their words, that the disabled get too much. That it isn't fair.

I suppose this thread will get deleted. But a lot of views seem to be going unchallenged about the disabled that wouldn't be allowed if it was about something else that's suppose to be a protected characteristic. Seems to have quite a few comparisons with a certain country in Europe 80 or so years ago. When the hatred and deceit was being thrown around and brain washing people before not many years later, the public became okay with euthanasia of them.

Hell, I am sure we are already there for some. As I have seen with my own eyes, people commenting on MN and the likes of social media where their bloody name and pictures of themselves and their work can be traced, that euthanasia could be an option, ideally.

To the OP and the other concerned parents and our supporters who recognise the value of disabled people’s lives - ignore the Charlie Kirk style “I’m so clever” posters. They aren’t. They’ve learned how to pick up something controversial and say it and then make other people justify themselves in an attempt to disprove their assertions.
Thats puppetry.
It is not sound reasoning or any kind of “moral philosophy “. For anyone to suggest it is does philosophy and intellectual schools of thought a great disservice.
You don’t have to have lived in the world of social media to have encountered holocaust deniers, for instance.
That tendency existed almost as soon as the holocaust was revealed.
What you are witnessing is the truth of people with disdain and a will to win, at any cost.
It has no bearing on the love you have for your children or other family members nor the way the democratic country we live in will progress. Try to remember that.

Do you want to expand a bit? What was the study? Who carried it out and where was it published? Did it find that the murders were because the perpetrators had schizophrenia or was that incidental? Did all the murders happen between 1997-2012 or were those when the convictions happened? What has happened since? What was the role of the change from institution based treatment to community based care, i.e. was there a gap in treatment? Etc.

💐 People who say those kinds of things never seem to understand how easily any one of us can become disabled and vulnerable. They always think they are the exception.

I'm advocating for more secure mental health beds, a lower bar to entry and higher requirements for release. All my life I've heard the inevitable cliche that 'lessons will be learned', but the obvious lesson of keeping these clearly dangerous people off the streets, never seems to be it.

I am also clever, but I actually write what I mean, rather than attempting to patronise and undermine inconvenient arguments with glib and facile po-faced replies that fail to engage with the substance of the subject.

@Robin2025 yes I an (multitasking with my DD)! Sorry my bad.

Rapists and men that are a clear danger to women would be better kept in secure facilities.

@ThisOldThang
Could you not start your own thread and for fucks sake leave the poor OP’s thread.
fucking insensitive???

No problem. Easily done when the usernames are similar. 🙂

@mnhq
The OP made a post about specific issues that are personal and important.
There are multiple posters on this thread happily debating euthanasia of disabled children.
Do you think that’s appropriate or do you think they should start a different “discussion” on a thread for like minded fascists?

Those things have been proven ineffective. What we need is more assertive outreach (amongst many other obvious factors such as an actual functioning health system) so that emerging crises can be identified and managed. We don't need more people locked up for longer.

What? For being angry at idiots who don't understand how difficult it is having children with disabilities? While continuing to work full-time?

You'd do well standing for Reform. You've got just the right level of empathy for it.

Yes PIP is hard to claim and medical issues need to be backed up with supporting evidence. However, in my line of work, I have encountered lots claiming for mental health and anxiety. Obviously there are many genuine cases but there are also a similar number who aren’t genuine. Mental health can’t be proven or disproven in the way a physical disability can and this is the issue. The internet is full of tips on what to say to your GP to get signed off, advice on what to put on the PIP forms etc. Lots of these people are aged 18-25 and have never worked. Of course they feel anxious about starting a job, who doesn’t? The problem is that they use this as an excuse not to work. In reality in most cases most would have improved mental health if they had a job and purpose in life.

There is plenty of evidence btw that Neanderthals cared for their sick and disabled. So even 'primitive' humans did better than some posters on this thread, on the civilisation front.

Those things have been proven ineffective

Do you want to expand a bit? What was the study? Who carried it out and where was it published? What has happened since? What was the role of the change from institution based treatment to community based care, i.e. was there a gap in treatment? Etc.

What we need is more assertive outreach

And when people, such as Valdo Calocane disengage from treatment, how does 'outreach' work exactly?

@kornwall
What are your qualifications in philosophy by the way? Would you care to discuss your approach on this thread with me, privately?
I have plenty of questions for you. Starting with did you copy and paste your first year sociology essays and now think that you were studying philosophy, by mistake. Foucault is just one sociologist you know..

Yes I saw something about that! They found evidence of a Neanderthal child with Down syndrome who was cared for by their community. As well as a man with physical disabilities, and some others. https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2020/06/17/878896381/ancient-bones-offer-clues-to-how-long-ago-humans-cared-for-the-vulnerable
https://www.inverse.com/article/42234-neanderthal-healthcare-fossil-analysis

I'm sorry you can't back up your points. And I'm really sorry for you that you're angry enough to want to abuse strangers online. But you're not clever. You're really not. So let's have your last bit of abuse - I won't be sobbing into my pillow tonight over it - because you're a waste of time and energy. I'll not engage with you again.

I'm assuming that was by their family or community, not random people they don't know but happen to live in the same country? It's a little different

It's bizarre that you think I'm angry or being abusive.

I don't think anybody else would be likely to view it that way.

Just to be clear, it's you that's just insulted me. I've not insulted you. I simply criticised your method of attempting to deflect and neuter inconvenient arguments with your po-faced 'look at this one' responses.

@ThisOldThang so what’s your response to the OP?

It's the same way tax payers now all pay for children to have an education, everyone to have access to healthcare etc

It's obviously grown from just family or the local community but that's the case with a lot of things, not just caring for disabled people.

@winterbluess
Whats your response to the OP?

Would anyone like to derail the OP’s thread by talking about puppies? Or Botox? Or the cost of flatbreads? Or who actually scored the best hat trick ever?
Is it compulsive posting that leads to posters having to talk about anything related to LIFE or taxes on a thread by a parent concerned about their disabled children?
Do you do that on Style and Beauty threads?

Not necessarily. You have no idea of what is going on behind the scenes. People possibly think my dd is similar because she travels 'on her own'. The reality is that she can't cope with taking taxi's or trains and buses are a struggle. She will walk miles to avoid using any form of transport. If she has to travel, she will go by coach which often takes twice as long, but she can 'cope' with it. All the while, I'm constantly on the end of the phone supporting her and stopping her from panicking, but no one knows any of this because it's invisible.