To think there is a definite surge in annoyance towards the disabled?

[WarySwan]

I have seen it in real life. Not just social media forums and news outlets where every other post seems to be about 'free money this for disabled' and 'free cars'.

My 2 children have autism. They get highest rate DLA. About £800 a month. We get respite care funded that costs the tax payer about £700 a month.

Just had an extension on our new build house, housing association, brand new bedroom and ensuite installed. Free of charge through the council.

Motability 7 seater car. 25 plate.

People seem to just see this and see the money. They do not see the costs that are present because of disability. The amount of time and resources it takes to keep 2 profoundly children at home.

They do not see that my children will need 24/7 care for life. 2-1 support in public. The constant cleaning and caring. Waking up at the crack of dawn, years on end. Cleaning smearing and endless washing. Endless marks on your body from a child who doesn't get that taking a chunk out of you will hurt that much and scar

Watching your eldest almost die as he can't speak a word or use a communication device. Meaning appendicitis went undetected until he was almost dying. The constant battle of keeping a cannula in his arm with hospital staff just not getting why a play therapist does not bloody cut it and he needs constant supervision that I cannot possibly do 24/7 without moving from the bedside. The weeks spend in recovery because of this.

If we do not or cannot provide this care, residential placements are about £40,000+ per month. Yes. Per month. It is eye watering in cost. That won't change anytime soon because social care is beyond shot to bits.

My children deserve the best life possible. And a dignified society should surely want to ensure this happens? Children who are not disabled and their parents have options. They have chances and doorways. Mine will never work. Never have a marriage or children, they won't even be able to cook a basic meal.

There is no overtime or upskilling for me. No situation where they fly the nest and I can focus on my career again. Unless they become some dangerous through no fault of their own that a 40k plus a month placement goes ahead as the alternative means I could die or be seriously injured, and that would mean they'd be at risk if I am literally unconscious on the floor.

They still deserve dignity and compassion. The chance of a good life. They are very happy currently. Good routines that are followed to a T. Safe at home because I have the resources to do it.

Care placement does not save money. Unfortunately. It would cost over ten times what I get in benefits.

I have seen so many mentions of people saying those on benefits should have no savings at all. Nothing. Really? You think my life isn't hard enough? You think I shouldn't be allowed a small nest of savings too?

When I finally drop down from caring, I will have next to no pension. After spending a lifetime ensuring the state doesn't have to take full responsibility for 2 adult men that will mean at least 4 paid members of staff are present at all times.

I am not just talking about MN. It is everywhere. Even 'funny' reels on Instagram targeted about how the disabled get this and that. How they should all drive a basic tiny car that has something written in bold to make sure everyone knows its a free car, as if they're really disabled, they'll use. That'll stop the chancers eh!

This is NOT about criticism towards PIP and DLA for things people deem questionable... even though they almost certainly dont have all the facts. This is about the blatant and not hidden disgust and begrudge of help to those with lifelong and profound disability

PEOPLE keep saying in black and white, no room for confusion in their words, that the disabled get too much. That it isn't fair.

I suppose this thread will get deleted. But a lot of views seem to be going unchallenged about the disabled that wouldn't be allowed if it was about something else that's suppose to be a protected characteristic. Seems to have quite a few comparisons with a certain country in Europe 80 or so years ago. When the hatred and deceit was being thrown around and brain washing people before not many years later, the public became okay with euthanasia of them.

Hell, I am sure we are already there for some. As I have seen with my own eyes, people commenting on MN and the likes of social media where their bloody name and pictures of themselves and their work can be traced, that euthanasia could be an option, ideally.

I am very sorry you experienced this as well @Kirbert2 . I suspect that statements like this often come from a place of fear - of the unknown, of the fact that the new family member is going to be upsetting the established family setup.

As if every new DC is not a step into the unknown. In my case it happens I have a DS with lifelong disabilities.....if anyone tried to tell him though that his life isn't worth living he would probably laugh in their face (he laughs a lot).

This thread has been a new low for mumsnet.

It truly has.

Which makes no sense to me. Expenses don't stop just because someone is in hospital for a prolonged period of time, in my experience it gets even more expensive.

I was able to receive DLA and child benefit when my son was in hospital for a prolonged period of time. I applied for DLA when he was in hospital which they knew about and I just had to inform them that I was still spending child benefit on my child and that hadn't changed just because he was in hospital.

Or if they weren't spending so much on pip, maybe there would be decent mental health services, and people would be able to get the help they need and be capable of working.

But it can be controlled with the right medication. A unit could help make sure people were stable and on the right meds to function, hey it might stop all the random attacks on innocent people that have been know to have mental health problems?

Or, if they weren't spending so much on maintaining zebra crossings, we could open a brand new museum in every town!

Priorities eh?

TBF your posts aren't exactly screaming "living in the real world". Tell me what you think in your own words. I've not got the patience to try and decipher your meaning through spurious links.

My son has life long disabilities too but not in the way the consultant expected, he got that wrong and that obviously does happen a lot of the time because the brain is such a funny thing and no one knows how it will react after a prolonged cardiac arrest or other trauma because people can go through something similar and have such different outcomes.

It can but the very nature of schizophrenia means that they may not take their meds. Lots feel better on meds so think they dont need them anymore so stop taking them. Or the side effects are horrible.
Random attacks are rare. It i more common for someone that is mentally ill to be attcked themselves.

Well if so much is being spent on pip for people with anxiety/depression, surely it would make sense to put more into the barely functioning mental health services? People will get better, people will be back to work, less spent on pip. Win win for everyone

There's a pretty clear link between horrific murders and schizophrenia. The recent 'incident' on a train is probably the latest, but we'll have to wait for the full story. Nottingham was another.

You think you're being clever with your responses, but nobody is fooled.

A large number of people that are currently receiving 'care in the community' would be better treated in secure facilities.

There are many problems with a world where disabled children are euthanised. That is not a society most people want to live in - and we have an example of such a society and the horrific nature of its rule.

But what about the people who don’t get better?

A lot of peoples mental health issues are situational, with a root cause and a solution such as leaving an abusive relationship eg. But some people are pre disposed to mental illness, no matter what their circumstances are like.

most people having care in the community will never hurt anyone.

Separate budgets. It would never work like that.

No. There isn't. People with schizophrenia murdering others is vanishingly rare. As has been pointed out already, those with severe and enduring mental health illness are much more likely to be harmed by others or by themselves than they are to violently attack anyone.

Who are the apparently philosophically interested posters on this thread? Is it. @Robin2025 @CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone and @TempestTost ?
I’ve seen the posts which refer to “logical thread” in terms of reasoning and what is logical being putting one person (A) having an advantage against one other person (B) having a disadvantage.
Which specific rule of logic are you applying when you post on this thread?
Which examples of fallacious reasoning have you described?
Try even to specify which philosophical argument you are proposing.
You mocked a person with a degree in philosophy from Oxford university.
I’ve got both an MLitt and a PhD in philosophy.
And a severely disabled child.
Let’s talk.

I never claimed they would, but a large number of people who are currently receiving 'care in the community' should actually be in secure facilities.

Christopher Clunis (1992, but often cited in later reviews)
Killed Jonathan Zito at Finsbury Park Tube station.
Case triggered reforms in community psychiatric care.

John Barrett (2004)
Stabbed cyclist Denis Finnegan to death in Richmond Park.
Had been released from a secure unit just days earlier.

Matthew Daley (2016)
Killed retired solicitor Donald Lock in West Sussex.
Diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia; had disengaged from treatment.

Nicola Edgington (2005 & 2011)
Killed her mother in 2005; later murdered Sally Hodkin in 2011 after pleading for psychiatric help.
Her case highlighted repeated NHS failings.

Anthony Joseph (2007)
Stabbed his neighbour to death in London.
Had a long history of schizophrenia and violent behaviour.

Daniel Gonzales (2004)
Killed four people in Surrey and Sussex in a random spree.
Nicknamed “Freddy Krueger killer”; diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Valdo Calocane (2023)
Killed three people in Nottingham, including two university students.
Diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia; had disengaged from NHS treatment

I think you are confusing me with another poster! @ACatNamedRobin perhaps? I couldn't disagree more with the disgusting things some of those posters have been saying on here today.

To add. "Care in the community" is a pretty outdated term but if you're advocating reversing the huge move away from institutions towards community based living and treatment, I think you're out of step with trends over the last three decades.

I'm attempting to ignore your personal insults because I think it's important that your wild assertions are questioned and challenged. But yes, I do think I'm clever. I am intelligent. Should I pretend I'm not? Why?

Between 1997–2012, a national case–control study found 160 men with schizophrenia convicted of homicide in England and Wales.

11 each year isn't 'vanishingly rare'.

Thank you @Robin2025 .

The irony is that many family members of the same generation as the person who said this, have themselves become disabled now they are elderly. I visited one a few weeks ago, they have dementia & I would say that their current quality of life is far lower than my DS's. But I think they should be supported and cared for at the end of their life, because their life continues to have value, and a civilised society carries the cost.

Compared to how many thousands?
I should be in an institution according to your views. I am fine in the public.

There is a pretty clear link between men and rape. Men would be better kept in secure facilities.