To think there is a definite surge in annoyance towards the disabled?

[WarySwan]

I have seen it in real life. Not just social media forums and news outlets where every other post seems to be about 'free money this for disabled' and 'free cars'.

My 2 children have autism. They get highest rate DLA. About £800 a month. We get respite care funded that costs the tax payer about £700 a month.

Just had an extension on our new build house, housing association, brand new bedroom and ensuite installed. Free of charge through the council.

Motability 7 seater car. 25 plate.

People seem to just see this and see the money. They do not see the costs that are present because of disability. The amount of time and resources it takes to keep 2 profoundly children at home.

They do not see that my children will need 24/7 care for life. 2-1 support in public. The constant cleaning and caring. Waking up at the crack of dawn, years on end. Cleaning smearing and endless washing. Endless marks on your body from a child who doesn't get that taking a chunk out of you will hurt that much and scar

Watching your eldest almost die as he can't speak a word or use a communication device. Meaning appendicitis went undetected until he was almost dying. The constant battle of keeping a cannula in his arm with hospital staff just not getting why a play therapist does not bloody cut it and he needs constant supervision that I cannot possibly do 24/7 without moving from the bedside. The weeks spend in recovery because of this.

If we do not or cannot provide this care, residential placements are about £40,000+ per month. Yes. Per month. It is eye watering in cost. That won't change anytime soon because social care is beyond shot to bits.

My children deserve the best life possible. And a dignified society should surely want to ensure this happens? Children who are not disabled and their parents have options. They have chances and doorways. Mine will never work. Never have a marriage or children, they won't even be able to cook a basic meal.

There is no overtime or upskilling for me. No situation where they fly the nest and I can focus on my career again. Unless they become some dangerous through no fault of their own that a 40k plus a month placement goes ahead as the alternative means I could die or be seriously injured, and that would mean they'd be at risk if I am literally unconscious on the floor.

They still deserve dignity and compassion. The chance of a good life. They are very happy currently. Good routines that are followed to a T. Safe at home because I have the resources to do it.

Care placement does not save money. Unfortunately. It would cost over ten times what I get in benefits.

I have seen so many mentions of people saying those on benefits should have no savings at all. Nothing. Really? You think my life isn't hard enough? You think I shouldn't be allowed a small nest of savings too?

When I finally drop down from caring, I will have next to no pension. After spending a lifetime ensuring the state doesn't have to take full responsibility for 2 adult men that will mean at least 4 paid members of staff are present at all times.

I am not just talking about MN. It is everywhere. Even 'funny' reels on Instagram targeted about how the disabled get this and that. How they should all drive a basic tiny car that has something written in bold to make sure everyone knows its a free car, as if they're really disabled, they'll use. That'll stop the chancers eh!

This is NOT about criticism towards PIP and DLA for things people deem questionable... even though they almost certainly dont have all the facts. This is about the blatant and not hidden disgust and begrudge of help to those with lifelong and profound disability

PEOPLE keep saying in black and white, no room for confusion in their words, that the disabled get too much. That it isn't fair.

I suppose this thread will get deleted. But a lot of views seem to be going unchallenged about the disabled that wouldn't be allowed if it was about something else that's suppose to be a protected characteristic. Seems to have quite a few comparisons with a certain country in Europe 80 or so years ago. When the hatred and deceit was being thrown around and brain washing people before not many years later, the public became okay with euthanasia of them.

Hell, I am sure we are already there for some. As I have seen with my own eyes, people commenting on MN and the likes of social media where their bloody name and pictures of themselves and their work can be traced, that euthanasia could be an option, ideally.

Because certain autism groups don’t want to differentiate between those with higher support needs.

I think there is a surge in annoyance to some extent.

I think very few people are actually annoyed at people they think are honest and struggling. I think almost everyone is very sympathetic and knows they could easily be in a similar situation.

There are people who, while being sympathetic, believe that some of the policies to support aren't sustainable. They don't tend to be annoyed, ime.

There are also people who may be annoyed, who are sympathetic, but feel they themselves are also struggling in equally valid ways, but are unsupported. This is across a number of issues, there is a sense of struggling but not the right kind of struggle - if you fit in the right box help is available. I don't think these people are really annoyed with the disabled so much as frustrated.

I think where you really see people annoyed is two scenarios.

One is where they think that support for the disabled, particularly in places like schools, is impacting others negatively. This tends to be with behavioural issues but not always, sometimes it's about resources. So the effect is the good of the disabled, the right to be educated for example, is placed above the right of other children to be educated. People think this is unjust and also are upset personally when their own kids are negatively impacted.

The other cause, and in a way I think this might be the biggest, is many people think that a large part of the explosion of diagnosis for things like ASD and ADHD is both creating negative and unfair situations for other kids, and/or they feel many or some of the diagnoses are in some way illegitimate (be it fraud, diagnostic creep, or whatever.)

Also the explosion of things like, accommodations that mean almost half a class may be given more time for a test, or special tickets for the disabled, when most people just live with the fact their kids won't sit or wait for long. Rather than feeling like helping out a few who have struggles, it starts to feel like you and your family is bottom of the pile, with substantial numbers claiming they need priority.

I’m not finding that definition btw despite doing some searches.

The most I have found is that reduced intelligence is one possible trait of many that contributes towards being diagnosed with a learning disability.

This article says it’s more complex than “low IQ”
”Despite the persistent myth that learning disabilities are synonymous with low intelligence, the reality is far more complex and nuanced than many people realize. This widespread misconception has led to countless misunderstandings and, unfortunately, missed opportunities for individuals with learning disabilities to reach their full potential. But let’s dive deeper into this fascinating topic and unravel the intricate relationship between learning disabilities and intelligence.”

”Many people assume that if someone has a learning disability, they must have a low IQ. But that’s about as accurate as saying all cats hate water or all Brits have bad teeth. It’s a stereotype that simply doesn’t hold up under scrutiny.”

”Take autism and intelligence, for example. The relationship between autism spectrum disorders (ASD) and intelligence is complex and varied. Some individuals with ASD have exceptional abilities in specific areas, often referred to as “islets of ability.” These could be remarkable memory skills, advanced mathematical abilities, or extraordinary artistic talents.”

https://neurolaunch.com/learning-disability-iq/

“Traditional IQ tests typically assess skills like verbal comprehension, perceptual reasoning, working memory, and processing speed. They’re designed to provide a snapshot of a person’s cognitive abilities compared to the general population. But here’s the kicker – these tests were primarily developed with neurotypical individuals in mind.
When it comes to autism, the concept of intelligence takes on new dimensions. Autistic minds often excel in areas that traditional IQ tests might not fully capture – like pattern recognition, attention to detail, or the ability to think outside the box. It’s like trying to measure a fish’s intelligence by its ability to climb a tree – you’re missing out on its true capabilities.
This brings us to an important point: the limitations of traditional IQ tests for individuals with autism. These tests often rely heavily on verbal skills and social understanding, areas where many autistic people might struggle. As a result, they may not accurately reflect the true cognitive abilities of autistic individuals.
Imagine being asked to solve a complex puzzle, but the instructions are in a language you don’t fully understand. That’s often what traditional IQ tests feel like for autistic individuals. It’s not that they can’t solve the puzzle – it’s that the way the challenge is presented doesn’t align with how their minds work.”

It’s not that. It’s that there is wider recognition that “support needs” can’t really be ranked high to low based on criteria originally developed for the physically disabled when it comes to neurodiversity.

1 in 4 people are on some sort of disability benefit now - It’s insane. There are genuine cases like yours which no-one in their right mind would complain about, but do you really think 1/4 of the population requires these benefits?

It’s the same as the immigration issue. The longer the government does nothing to tackle it, the more racial tension will increase. Same to be said for disability claimants

The bottom line is, there is a finite amount of money. I doubt anyone begrudges people like the OP getting it but the millions with mild/moderate mental illness (like me) should not be taking money from taxpayers. If it isn't reigned in, the pot will just run out and then what?

That's not true. It's around 10 percent. 1 in 4 is the number of people who have a disability, not the number who claim disability benefits.

Yes and no. Most Learning Disability services very literally have a cut off of IQ 70 so, in the NHS at least, it is synonymous with low IQ.

I do take your points though, and one of my DC literally does function, speak, everything like someone with an LD but has an IQ of just over 70 because he is gifted in mental arithmetic (not even the whole of 'maths') and it pushed his overall IQ up. IQ cut offs are arbitrary and harmful but I've worked with lots and lots of disabled children and it's quite a rare profile to have an IQ above 70 but still appear to have a true Learning Disability at all times (not just during stress periods or meltdowns). It's just very uncommon.

Also, why have mental health issues soared in the last decade or so? It seems as though every single school class has at least one ND child? I don't remember anything like that when I was a kid (70's/80's).

They absolutely do we have had calls for Euthanasia and re introducing institutions on this thread alone.

Support needs come with a cost, the cost goes from low to high.

ND / mental illness isn't the same thing

That child labelled by their peers as odd, etc probably had Autism

Autism existed when you were a kid but as I understand it, it was mostly those with Autism plus LDs, etc who were diagnosed. The rest of us were dismissed with mental health problems

Why, on planet earth, have you come back and doubled down.

I have mild autism myself, as does one of my children (I didn't have any more)

What is causing this rise in serious autism cases? Not one child per family but multiple.

I think half the problem is that whilst your case sounds severe there are other family that are claiming they have major issues and are claiming the same amount of money as you but actually their children will function in society.

There's policing and there's keeping up with current thinking so you don't look outdated.

I was at school the same decades as You.

I think, in hindsight, they were there but not diagnosed.
Eg . I was friends with a Man, known locally by all and sundry, who was the nicest, sweetest chap I had known. Until he turned Angry.
However, and again in hindsight, I am pretty sure that He had some kind of ND about Him . He was though, in 1982, in his mid 30s so no diagnosis as a child so I am assuming here.

It wasn't. It's a third of every class now with a diagnosis. The number of true 'normal' kids are in the minority. I've been teaching 20+ years. Whilst I accept kids exised 20 years ago with autism etc who werent' diagnosed, it's not that. There are significantly more children now with issues. I can now count on one hand the number of neurotypical children with zero issues.

The rise in IVF will have contributed to this.

So offensive to people with intellectual disability.

I don’t buy that “current thinking” is always an improvement. Personally I’m very happy to see some “current thinking” on some subjects revert back to the way that it’s always been.

And I do think that there should be ways to differentiate people like me with autism who have very real problems but who are also capable of working, running a home and generally functioning well in society and people with autism who are non verbal and who can’t be safelyleft alone for five minutes.

Every single school class will have probably at least a third of the class as ‘neurodivergent’; dyslexia affects 10%, dyspraxia 10%, Foetal alcohol spectrum disorder 5% (more common than autism), then there is high IQ, low IQ, autism, adhd, dyscalculia, sensory processing disorders, sensory impairments, possibly a child with conditions such as epilepsy or cerebral palsy, or other brain injury, then conditions that might be considered mental health but affect how the brain operates: OCD, depression, schizophrenia, EUPD…. And of course hormones have a huge impact on the brain around puberty….

I'm all for progress.

So am I if it’s actually progress. Sometimes it’s anything but. Things don’t always change for the better. I refuse to assume that changes are always actively progressive and beneficial.

It’s less “know your place” and more that if you need other people’s charity to live, fine, and their money will help more people in need if it is spent wisely. Why would you want more at the expense of others in need, and at the expense of those so generously donating to you?

What? To say they have low IQ?