To think there is a definite surge in annoyance towards the disabled?

[WarySwan]

I have seen it in real life. Not just social media forums and news outlets where every other post seems to be about 'free money this for disabled' and 'free cars'.

My 2 children have autism. They get highest rate DLA. About £800 a month. We get respite care funded that costs the tax payer about £700 a month.

Just had an extension on our new build house, housing association, brand new bedroom and ensuite installed. Free of charge through the council.

Motability 7 seater car. 25 plate.

People seem to just see this and see the money. They do not see the costs that are present because of disability. The amount of time and resources it takes to keep 2 profoundly children at home.

They do not see that my children will need 24/7 care for life. 2-1 support in public. The constant cleaning and caring. Waking up at the crack of dawn, years on end. Cleaning smearing and endless washing. Endless marks on your body from a child who doesn't get that taking a chunk out of you will hurt that much and scar

Watching your eldest almost die as he can't speak a word or use a communication device. Meaning appendicitis went undetected until he was almost dying. The constant battle of keeping a cannula in his arm with hospital staff just not getting why a play therapist does not bloody cut it and he needs constant supervision that I cannot possibly do 24/7 without moving from the bedside. The weeks spend in recovery because of this.

If we do not or cannot provide this care, residential placements are about £40,000+ per month. Yes. Per month. It is eye watering in cost. That won't change anytime soon because social care is beyond shot to bits.

My children deserve the best life possible. And a dignified society should surely want to ensure this happens? Children who are not disabled and their parents have options. They have chances and doorways. Mine will never work. Never have a marriage or children, they won't even be able to cook a basic meal.

There is no overtime or upskilling for me. No situation where they fly the nest and I can focus on my career again. Unless they become some dangerous through no fault of their own that a 40k plus a month placement goes ahead as the alternative means I could die or be seriously injured, and that would mean they'd be at risk if I am literally unconscious on the floor.

They still deserve dignity and compassion. The chance of a good life. They are very happy currently. Good routines that are followed to a T. Safe at home because I have the resources to do it.

Care placement does not save money. Unfortunately. It would cost over ten times what I get in benefits.

I have seen so many mentions of people saying those on benefits should have no savings at all. Nothing. Really? You think my life isn't hard enough? You think I shouldn't be allowed a small nest of savings too?

When I finally drop down from caring, I will have next to no pension. After spending a lifetime ensuring the state doesn't have to take full responsibility for 2 adult men that will mean at least 4 paid members of staff are present at all times.

I am not just talking about MN. It is everywhere. Even 'funny' reels on Instagram targeted about how the disabled get this and that. How they should all drive a basic tiny car that has something written in bold to make sure everyone knows its a free car, as if they're really disabled, they'll use. That'll stop the chancers eh!

This is NOT about criticism towards PIP and DLA for things people deem questionable... even though they almost certainly dont have all the facts. This is about the blatant and not hidden disgust and begrudge of help to those with lifelong and profound disability

PEOPLE keep saying in black and white, no room for confusion in their words, that the disabled get too much. That it isn't fair.

I suppose this thread will get deleted. But a lot of views seem to be going unchallenged about the disabled that wouldn't be allowed if it was about something else that's suppose to be a protected characteristic. Seems to have quite a few comparisons with a certain country in Europe 80 or so years ago. When the hatred and deceit was being thrown around and brain washing people before not many years later, the public became okay with euthanasia of them.

Hell, I am sure we are already there for some. As I have seen with my own eyes, people commenting on MN and the likes of social media where their bloody name and pictures of themselves and their work can be traced, that euthanasia could be an option, ideally.

High functioning is just about how society sees the individual. It doesn’t say anything about the day to day struggles that person faces to go about life.

Ds would most likely fall into the “High functioning” aspect but that doesn’t reflect the massive struggles he faces or the fact he will need support for his whole life

I'm not advocating that anyone should die.

I'm asking the question that people dont seem to want to engage with. And that is why do we think the way we do?

Is it just that we don't actually think about it and have just imported from religion that "thou shall not kill (humans)" without any real thought.

I like to understand whether I'm just abnormal ... if I take a situation to extremes whether it be immigration or severe disabilities. The OP was asking whether attitudes are getting worse and I'm asking whether that's because the ratio of working people to pensioners, disabled people, unemployed people, etc (take your pick) is just becoming untenable.

If the ratio worsened even more, at what point would attitudes change and what is a rational (not emotional) argument to refute that change.

And you are policing

I do not buy the whole “outdated” thing because I can see daily how my GenZs and GenAs are reverting back or directly class with each other over various issues. Zeitgeist moves extremely quickly. People cannot go around being ticked off for not learning the word of the day. It is rage bait these year and ZenZ next, who actually cares.

I’ve always wondered if the success of IVF has had an impact on the rise in disabilities.

I’m just here to say hats off to you. I cannot image the work, emotional and physical, that this takes. I couldn’t care less what you get from whom, I feel nothing but respect for you,

Institutions don't have to be inherently problematic or damaging.

In many ways the loss of places like this was very detrimental. I'm somewhat involved through work in some of the places locally that still operate like this and they are very successful. There are a few residents who did in the past live alone with a support worker who checked in on them, but found it too isolated.

Kids is more complicated obviously, but I do think there may be situations where older kids in particular might benefit from a setting outside their parental home if they could also be close to their families. Or, perhaps more often, might benefit from being there part time. I don't think it would be a cost savings though.

To claim the highest amounts means you hsve to have the highest needs backed up with evidence
My son gets HRC and HRM because hes severely mentally impaired ,most peoole wih autism won't get these rates and loads of people with autism won't have severe mental impairment
My son is nearly 16 and cognitively around 2 or3 , hes at a special school for children with severe and profound learning disabilities ,hes non verbal ,with a very limited understanding of the world around him and has challenging behaviour etcetera,
There are different levels of DLA ,some children with autism wouldn't qualify for any level.

This isn’t an intellectual debate, these are real people we’re talking about. Children in some cases. Not numbers on a graph.

how can we engage when the actual answers we would have given, you specifically excluded and said we should not give?!

why this thing but don't give x, y or z perfectly reasonable answers, say something else. hang on why aren't you answering my question, you know, the question i asked with the ps that told you not to give the answers that any reasonable person would give.

what do you expect when you give people a list of answers they cannot respond with?

I would say this is absolutely the reason. The ratio of people taking out of the pot is becoming to big for the people putting in. People will obviously start to get annoyed when affects how much they have to pay out of their salary.

There are places like that my son has overnight respite twice a month at such a place, its not an institution though ,he enjoys ,it and I enjoy the break ,I wouldn't want him anywhere full time though.

Even if people don’t claim the highest amount, a large number of people claiming small amounts will break the system. If 1 in 4 is now on some form of benefits for disability it’s not sustainable

It's 1 in 10 and 1 in 4 are classed as disabled

Please point me to where I claimed that savant syndrome doesn't exist.

That’s a correlation. High or low functioning was never based on costs, but on the complexity and intensity of the assessed support needs.

I don't think this is wholly about benefits.

I suspect just as much is about other areas - accommodations in schools for example. Or the impact of behavioural issues in schools.

In fact I would say that a lot of the frustrations people have can be linked specifically to the inclusion of things like ADHD as disabilities. I'm not necessarily saying they aren't, btw, but it creates a whole differernt set of issues.

If i thought that culling people was a good idea I would say so. So skip the innuendo.

I don't think we should - even having supported lives myself and feeling the toll it has taken on me. In retrospect I can see how each little step led to another until I was swamped which made me question whether I'd take those initial steps if I knew where I'd end up.

But I am asking you to think and state your reasons why a utilitarian argument is bad. In a purely rational world, devoid of emotion, there seems little point in people sacrificing their entire adult life to others where they can make no significant difference.

We don't do that which is probably a good thing but in my world my decisions led only to me being swamped. In the wider world the people's decisions affect not just them but forcibly enlist all of us to contribute.

So how can you justify that to people who say "why should I look after your child"?

People have abortions for all manner of reasons not just disability
It's not the same as murdering a living, breathing human absolutely nowhere near the same.

I know quite a few children who have been placed in institutions. Some of these are lovely schools. They have often been placed there because families have found it untenable at home - they can no longer keep them, or other children in the house, safe.

Here is where you did.
Learning disability means IQ less than two standard deviations below the norm - which no straight A maths and science student would be. You are minimising what it is to be learning disabled.

of course, you didn’t specifically mention savant syndrome because you likely didn’t even realise it existed. A learning disabled student with low IQ could be straight A in maths and sciences if they had savant syndrome which is strongly linked to autism.

And just to put a number on that, The Atlantic has an article on accommodations in elite universities at the moment which says that something like 30 or 40 % of students are claiming accommodations in the class - like being exempt from presentations, longer testing periods, and so on.

This kind of thing has a massive impact on how people perceive what are being classed as disabilities, even though they are not monetary benefits.

You really shouldn’t be volunteering at that type of charity with a judgmental and hateful attitude like you’re displaying on this thread. As someone with a mostly hidden disability (early Parkinson’s) if I approached a mental health charity and was presented with someone who was clearly trying to decide if I was ‘genuine’ or not, I’d be heartbroken. That could send somebody over the edge. They need people with compassion who don’t judge.

It was based on IQ

"I'm not advocating that anyone should die.
I'm asking the question that people dont seem to want to engage with. And that is why do we think the way we do?"

You have already had that post deleted.