To think there is a definite surge in annoyance towards the disabled?

[WarySwan]

I have seen it in real life. Not just social media forums and news outlets where every other post seems to be about 'free money this for disabled' and 'free cars'.

My 2 children have autism. They get highest rate DLA. About £800 a month. We get respite care funded that costs the tax payer about £700 a month.

Just had an extension on our new build house, housing association, brand new bedroom and ensuite installed. Free of charge through the council.

Motability 7 seater car. 25 plate.

People seem to just see this and see the money. They do not see the costs that are present because of disability. The amount of time and resources it takes to keep 2 profoundly children at home.

They do not see that my children will need 24/7 care for life. 2-1 support in public. The constant cleaning and caring. Waking up at the crack of dawn, years on end. Cleaning smearing and endless washing. Endless marks on your body from a child who doesn't get that taking a chunk out of you will hurt that much and scar

Watching your eldest almost die as he can't speak a word or use a communication device. Meaning appendicitis went undetected until he was almost dying. The constant battle of keeping a cannula in his arm with hospital staff just not getting why a play therapist does not bloody cut it and he needs constant supervision that I cannot possibly do 24/7 without moving from the bedside. The weeks spend in recovery because of this.

If we do not or cannot provide this care, residential placements are about £40,000+ per month. Yes. Per month. It is eye watering in cost. That won't change anytime soon because social care is beyond shot to bits.

My children deserve the best life possible. And a dignified society should surely want to ensure this happens? Children who are not disabled and their parents have options. They have chances and doorways. Mine will never work. Never have a marriage or children, they won't even be able to cook a basic meal.

There is no overtime or upskilling for me. No situation where they fly the nest and I can focus on my career again. Unless they become some dangerous through no fault of their own that a 40k plus a month placement goes ahead as the alternative means I could die or be seriously injured, and that would mean they'd be at risk if I am literally unconscious on the floor.

They still deserve dignity and compassion. The chance of a good life. They are very happy currently. Good routines that are followed to a T. Safe at home because I have the resources to do it.

Care placement does not save money. Unfortunately. It would cost over ten times what I get in benefits.

I have seen so many mentions of people saying those on benefits should have no savings at all. Nothing. Really? You think my life isn't hard enough? You think I shouldn't be allowed a small nest of savings too?

When I finally drop down from caring, I will have next to no pension. After spending a lifetime ensuring the state doesn't have to take full responsibility for 2 adult men that will mean at least 4 paid members of staff are present at all times.

I am not just talking about MN. It is everywhere. Even 'funny' reels on Instagram targeted about how the disabled get this and that. How they should all drive a basic tiny car that has something written in bold to make sure everyone knows its a free car, as if they're really disabled, they'll use. That'll stop the chancers eh!

This is NOT about criticism towards PIP and DLA for things people deem questionable... even though they almost certainly dont have all the facts. This is about the blatant and not hidden disgust and begrudge of help to those with lifelong and profound disability

PEOPLE keep saying in black and white, no room for confusion in their words, that the disabled get too much. That it isn't fair.

I suppose this thread will get deleted. But a lot of views seem to be going unchallenged about the disabled that wouldn't be allowed if it was about something else that's suppose to be a protected characteristic. Seems to have quite a few comparisons with a certain country in Europe 80 or so years ago. When the hatred and deceit was being thrown around and brain washing people before not many years later, the public became okay with euthanasia of them.

Hell, I am sure we are already there for some. As I have seen with my own eyes, people commenting on MN and the likes of social media where their bloody name and pictures of themselves and their work can be traced, that euthanasia could be an option, ideally.

Is that what they said? Ty. I’ll have to take your word for it as they didn’t exactly elaborate and I don’t have a screenshot of it and posting it on here will only get it deleted.

Imagine being the kind of person who thinks putting children into institutions, away from their families is (a) a good idea and (b) hasn't been proven to be a pretty bad thing!

These people walk among us... scary.

This is not true. In the UK Learning Disabled means an IQ of less than 70 and it is almost impossible to pass your GCSEs, for example, if you have even a Mild Learning Disability. You might be thinking of learning difficulties or be from outside UK?

That is what they said and I do have screenshots. Of all the now deleted posts.

I explicitly said FOR ME, because of how shit it is trying to live independently as an autistic person. Not for people to be forced into against their wishes. I can see this is just time 1093923981 I've tried and failed to express myself - thanks, autism - and will stop posting on this thread.

I know that you do. Hence why I said that there’s no point in posting it because it will only be deleted.

And you thought that quote was so intelligent that it bore repeating? It's like something you'd see on a coaster in a card shop!

@OlivePeeris talking about her feelings here

Oh is that what you think it means? Ok...

People don't understand what life is like with an autistic child. Our lives are so difficult. Having said that, we don't receive any money for our child, probably as he's classed as high functioning :/.

I understood you perfectly well @OlivePeer
Autistic people are different, like non autistic people, they have different opinions and differing challenges. What a surprise!
Also, of course they and their parents can describe them how they all feel comfortable to do.
My DS sees his autism like he would a physical issue, like a genetic heart defect. He is perfectly entitled to feel that way. He certainly does not see it as some super power.

I disagree. AuDHD mum of two with ASD.

You can have a low IQ/be learning disabled and still be exceptionally gifted in one or more academic subjects- it’s called the savant or sage syndrome.
https://positiveautism.org/savant-syndrome-and-autism-extraordinary-talents-in-neurodiverse-individuals/

I am trying to update you on some basic terminology out of sympathy.

I know it wasn't you who asked the question but motability provides new cars so they can maximise the sell-on cost after the lease is up.

It's not very useful.

Exactly.

To pass all your 10 or so GCSEs yes.
But not one or two.
https://positiveautism.org/savant-syndrome-and-autism-extraordinary-talents-in-neurodiverse-individuals/

I’m with you on that. I have no patience with the policing of other autistic people by a certain set of autistic people who have decided that everyone must use the words that they approve of and no others. I’ll continue to describe myself as high functioning if I wish(because I generally am) but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t cause me very real issues. It most certainly does and I’m definitely not Team Superpower either. I’d get rid of it in a minute if I could and no I don’t want to feel positive about it either. There’s nothing positive about it for me.

Yes, but it is worrying when people say things like "As someone autistic, I would honestly like the option to spend my life in an institution". It is really naive and doesn't take into account the horrendous suffering caused by institutional 'care' and it would be a terrible thing if people thought 'well this autistic person has articulated they'd love to be in an institution so non-speaking autistic people would also love it!'

It's a bit like when my caring duties feel really overwhelming I often fantasise about falling down the stairs and breaking my legs so I could get a 'break' in a hospital. I don't really mean it though, if I think about it properly- and I certainly wouldn't say it to someone with a broken leg.

Savant syndrome has been overly popularised due to films like Rain Main. The actual incidence is very small - about 1 per 1 million.

Ok, yes, maybe one or two. Rare though.

Why don't you just send your own child into a residential institution?
Do you not think disabled children deserve the love and support of their family or doesn't it matter becsuse they are disabled.
You disgust me.

Lots of people live in institutions; everyone in the armed forces for starters. There have been a couple of mental health institutions near me that closed decades ago and have been turned into housing developments. But when they operated they were complete communities with workshops, gardens, kitchen gardens, art rooms, etc and had programme of social activities. Yes they were based around Victorian style day and night wards and most people should never have been there. But transposed into a modern facility with flats or houses and it could actually represent a very nice life - much nicer than some of the secure supported flats and facilities available at the moment to many. A shared supported flat is still an institution, especially if it has to be secure.

Edited to say I am talking about adults.

I will be honest, I was pissed off with the OP this morning for posting this thread although I too have a disabled son who has high needs. I knew the dickheads would be along with their eugenics shit in no time and MN would be woefully slow to deal with it as usual. I even thought the OP might have just been someone trying to encourage that behaviour because it is well know some people will disregard all of the stuff she has to deal with and just see what support she has been given.

However I am glad in a way that people are posting horrific things, because it means people see how awful some people are, and usually underneath it is a lot of stupidity and confirmation biases which is very clear when they justify their position. They just look mightily thick and ignorant. They don't even understand the benefits system and how difficult it can be to claim, or even get a diagnosis or supporting evidence to claim. I also know plenty of disabled people NOT claiming because they don't need to, they never get discussed.

I had to claim for my child as one of us had to give up work. We are poorer because of it, even with help from the state (which we fought for in the end via a tribunal). I would happily be better off with us both working FT with a normal son. I hate needing state help.

And yet you claimed it was impossible to exist. 1 in a million is very small, but not as small as dying in a plane crash (1 in 11 million), yet you’d never say that it is impossible to die in a plane crash now would you?

Yes. He has a high IQ. That is what the ‘high functioning’ bit means. His behaviour refers to the ‘autism’ bit of the description.