To think there is a definite surge in annoyance towards the disabled?

[WarySwan]

I have seen it in real life. Not just social media forums and news outlets where every other post seems to be about 'free money this for disabled' and 'free cars'.

My 2 children have autism. They get highest rate DLA. About £800 a month. We get respite care funded that costs the tax payer about £700 a month.

Just had an extension on our new build house, housing association, brand new bedroom and ensuite installed. Free of charge through the council.

Motability 7 seater car. 25 plate.

People seem to just see this and see the money. They do not see the costs that are present because of disability. The amount of time and resources it takes to keep 2 profoundly children at home.

They do not see that my children will need 24/7 care for life. 2-1 support in public. The constant cleaning and caring. Waking up at the crack of dawn, years on end. Cleaning smearing and endless washing. Endless marks on your body from a child who doesn't get that taking a chunk out of you will hurt that much and scar

Watching your eldest almost die as he can't speak a word or use a communication device. Meaning appendicitis went undetected until he was almost dying. The constant battle of keeping a cannula in his arm with hospital staff just not getting why a play therapist does not bloody cut it and he needs constant supervision that I cannot possibly do 24/7 without moving from the bedside. The weeks spend in recovery because of this.

If we do not or cannot provide this care, residential placements are about £40,000+ per month. Yes. Per month. It is eye watering in cost. That won't change anytime soon because social care is beyond shot to bits.

My children deserve the best life possible. And a dignified society should surely want to ensure this happens? Children who are not disabled and their parents have options. They have chances and doorways. Mine will never work. Never have a marriage or children, they won't even be able to cook a basic meal.

There is no overtime or upskilling for me. No situation where they fly the nest and I can focus on my career again. Unless they become some dangerous through no fault of their own that a 40k plus a month placement goes ahead as the alternative means I could die or be seriously injured, and that would mean they'd be at risk if I am literally unconscious on the floor.

They still deserve dignity and compassion. The chance of a good life. They are very happy currently. Good routines that are followed to a T. Safe at home because I have the resources to do it.

Care placement does not save money. Unfortunately. It would cost over ten times what I get in benefits.

I have seen so many mentions of people saying those on benefits should have no savings at all. Nothing. Really? You think my life isn't hard enough? You think I shouldn't be allowed a small nest of savings too?

When I finally drop down from caring, I will have next to no pension. After spending a lifetime ensuring the state doesn't have to take full responsibility for 2 adult men that will mean at least 4 paid members of staff are present at all times.

I am not just talking about MN. It is everywhere. Even 'funny' reels on Instagram targeted about how the disabled get this and that. How they should all drive a basic tiny car that has something written in bold to make sure everyone knows its a free car, as if they're really disabled, they'll use. That'll stop the chancers eh!

This is NOT about criticism towards PIP and DLA for things people deem questionable... even though they almost certainly dont have all the facts. This is about the blatant and not hidden disgust and begrudge of help to those with lifelong and profound disability

PEOPLE keep saying in black and white, no room for confusion in their words, that the disabled get too much. That it isn't fair.

I suppose this thread will get deleted. But a lot of views seem to be going unchallenged about the disabled that wouldn't be allowed if it was about something else that's suppose to be a protected characteristic. Seems to have quite a few comparisons with a certain country in Europe 80 or so years ago. When the hatred and deceit was being thrown around and brain washing people before not many years later, the public became okay with euthanasia of them.

Hell, I am sure we are already there for some. As I have seen with my own eyes, people commenting on MN and the likes of social media where their bloody name and pictures of themselves and their work can be traced, that euthanasia could be an option, ideally.

This.

People need to educate themselves on how the media actually works and how the rich actually get rich.

There are so many people on here confidently presenting their opinions as their own who are clearly just parroting right-wing media soundbites.

when you have posters actually advocating for severely disabled children to be euthanised on the grounds they will never make a meaningful contribution to society while at the same time taking up a lot of resources, i think we can reasonably liken it to hitler.

Yanbu
The cost of disability payments rising so quickly is due to three main factors:

• Shitty economy has devalued the £ so inflation is causing the budget numbers to increase quite dramatically. These are not increases in real terms but the fact that £10 of disability payment today wil have to be £15 of disability payment in 2035 to have the same buying power.
• The vast majority of disabilities are acquired during life and the #1 risk factor for acquired disabilities is age with steep increases post age 50. With every increase to state pension age, tens of thousands of people who would have been pensioners are being added to the working age but disabled cohort.
• The decades long underfunding and understaffing of the NHS has meant poor access to healthcare. The long wait lists also mean by the time someone is treated, their condition is more serious and more likely to be a life changing disability or life threatening. On the physical side, this is especially when it comes to head/knee/hip/back injuries or the errors/fobbing off leading to late cancer diagnosis and on the mental health side it is especially true with illnesses like depression, conditions with psychosis and cases of neurodivergent burnout. If healthcare were more accessible and properly funded (please note that underfunding is the primary cause of inefficiency), then people could be treated and back to being healthy and working rather than having a permanent decline in health and acquiring disabilities that limit their capability for work.

The narrative that the increase in disability benefits costs is due to

• poor lifestyle choices
• fraudulent claims from the work shy
• over generous benefits resulting in a higher living standard than working people

are all propaganda meant to distract the populace from the actual root causes of why these costs are going up. Causes the the government are well aware of and are in complete control of but have no political will to do anything about. There is a clear subtext that the way the numbers of the disabled benefits claimants will go down is through intentional neglect of their living conditions and healthcare. The fact that being disabled means you are likely to die 20yrs younger than average isn’t just down to not being perfectly healthy. Some of the gap is due to lack of care. For example: Asthmatic wheelchair bound people crammed into damp, mouldy HMOs with not enough money to properly feed themselves and no carers to come by and help them on hygiene leads to that person dying of an asthma attack or pneumonia or even hypothermia because they can’t afford to heat their home or sepsis due to infected bedsores caused by lack of carers helping with personal care. During Covid, mass DNRs were put on patients with any disability - even a learning disability like dyslexia- the inquiry proved this happened. It’s not a conspiracy theory. The truth in my opinion is there is a climate in the government that disabled people should be neglected to an early death so as to cost less to the public purse. The assisted dying bill was clearly partially supported by many in Parliament as it would accelerate death in those that went from disabled to terminally ill and save NHS costs on palliative care.

Don’t apologise.

These people exist, and we all know they do. Like you, I’d argue with them all day and defend our children if I have to.

I’m glad you’ve exposed the reality of what we, and our kids, face - day in day out.

You’ve allowed them to show their true colours, and frankly that’s a good thing as far as I’m concerned, because I’d rather they crawled out and said it so they can be challenged on it.

If there’s one thing being a SENd parent gives you, it’s thick skin. I won’t be losing a second of sleep (that I don’t have!) because a stranger on the internet wants our beautiful son to not exist. That’s a them problem. He does exist, loudly and proudly. Deal with that, or fuck off.

You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. Please don’t think otherwise.

Have you read the thread?

We've had eugenics, now deleted comments about how smelly, dirty, disabled boys aren't worthy of life etc

OP isn't wrong.

No one said that and the OP didn't state it that way. It is never okay to speak about anyone that way but I stand by what I said.

no one said that? yes they bloody did.

They absolutely did. Those comments are now deleted and for good reason.

Quite the leap based on that comment!

I'm one of these people you describe. I use a wheelchair and/or crutches to get around due to spinal issues & arthritis.

I struggle to shower/bathe,i need an adapted bathroom, shower seats, toilet frame, hand holds..etc.

I need help prepping food.. so i have a seat for sitting on while i work and adapted equipment.. like knives that are easier to hold, saucepans adapted for me to get food out of that's boiling. (tip for anyone, the basket from a chip pan works wonders for this) there are hand rails and perching stools all around my home as i try not to use the wheelchair in my house and keep as mobile as i can.

My body is giving me grief, but my brain still functions, and i'm still fully capable of typing. While i currently don't work as i'm a carer for my son (and yes i can still physically help him using the adaptations in my house for me) i did volunteer for years for a massive annual gathering as part of a team that did the social media and set up events as all the planning was done online/over email/voice meetings and we had a team to do the physical work at the event.

If/when i do go back to work (Which i intend to do hopefully) i'll still be able to work with some adjustments and adapted schedule/hybrid WFH which i will be entitled to as a disabled employee.

I'm disabled, not a waste of space.

As opposed to parroting left-wing sound bites? There are good and bad ideas on both the right and the left. But by dismissing people as ‘left’ or ‘right’ wing you force them into a situation where those who disagree feel compelled to adopt the whole right/left wing position rather than a generally left wing person being able to say ‘the left are profoundly wrong on this’. Or vice versa. It pushes politics to extremes.

Agreed. Easily led.

How were they lying? They quoted the deleted post right at you. I think it's you who are lying. Shame on you

That’s really sad. Humanity needs neurodiverse people. We are a type of diversity that have enabled humanity to progress in many areas- science, art, philosophy, literature.

It is devasting to read that your son has internalised a eugenics mindset that consigns him and people like him to a human rubbish tip that shouldn’t ‘breed’.

Nuerotypical people are not some kind of superior pedigree of human. We are all equally valuable.

"I've followed this thread closely and have absolutely no recollection of reading that."

That was in a post where people were asked to give reasons why some severely disabled people should be allowed to live. At 8.37 and now deleted. I remembered the time to come back later and see if had been deleted.

@IncompleteSenten

In Iceland 99.x% of pregnancies suspected of Down Syndrome are terminated, a fact partially on the path that you decry - of assigning no value to the lives of profoundly (learning and mentally) disabled people.

Would you call the people of Iceland - a country, albeit a small country - disgusting morally, as you called a poster above? (Apologies if I paraphrase incorrectly.) Or just partially morally disgusting?

Different people have different philosophies of life. Indeed there is a whole existing philosophy - Utilitarianism - that assigns little value to the lives of profoundly disabled people (learning & mentally disabled, with mental age in the small single digits).

@Pricelessadvice
Plus, you can get PIP and still work. How can someone who needs help with preparing food and caring for themselves actually hold down any sort of job, really?

Stephen Hawking
And tens of thousands of others who’s bodies are broken but their minds are diamonds of brilliance.

yes, and being a human being was not a good enough reason according to that poster.

I always just thought my baby was serious. It was more than that. I picked up on there being problem when she was 12 months, but I suspect that an expert could have had suspicions much sooner. I remember her not copying the sticking out tongue thing as well. I stupidly didn’t think much of it.

I have fibromyalgia and arthritis, the amount of people who think that fibromyalgia is made up is astounding, I would like to see them live a day in constant pain everywhere with stiffness in all joints making getting around difficult even though I look fine, its horrendous, if people begrudge me the £290 I get for the daily living component I feel sorry for them, i would rather have my body back to normal than live like this.

I do work still, someone asked how someone who needs help preparing food holds down a job, very simply I have to, I have been working for 25 years and dont want to give up, its not about whether I can prepare a meal, its about what support I need to do so because of the condition I have.

100% this.

I posted this back in May "We all know that once they [the right whinge] stop blaming migrants for all our ills the poor and disabled will be next on the chopping block".

And like clockwork, here we are. It's embarrassing and depressing how predictable they are with their hate.

@Legobricksinatub - DS does not like me talking about it, especially not on social media and it includes anonymous forums, so yes, I will sort of skirt around it a bit. I also never posted photos of my kids on Facebook and the like. He is quite anxious about it. It is what it is. He also has some OCD tendencies, certainly washes too much rather than too litte! To dispel that myth.
For example, for many years he was worried he would never ever get a girlfriend so he researched social skills and basically taught himself the dos and do not. His sister helps out in that regard too with tips.
He is obviously hugely successful academically etc etc but the disability is there. One never knows whether he may suddenly burn out etc, but because he is quite aware he also follows all sorts of life hacks to deal with it. So there will be those who actually contribute massively for years into the tax pot but then suddenly have a breakdown. Hopefully that will not be my DS, but we are aware that it is a risk. We have never ever claimed anything for DS and he coped fine at grammar school where they seemed used to boys with his profile.
I would hate to think though that one day if he ever needed help that he would be labelled a fake. He goes above and beyond in pushing himself etc and dealing with the card he has been dealt and managing it as best as he can.

Our own Govt wanted to put DNR's on disabled people during Covid. (I was horrified at the time. I have recently looked for the papers again but cant find)

I have two disabled young people. I feel that society is moving away from a 1970's lack of understanding/disablist attitude. We've gone past not caring enough to want to 'share limited national financial resources' & towards a 'fuck you for getting any benefits at all - prove you need it to ME' aggressiveness.
This is ramped up by the media & Govt too. Yes, there has been an increase in applications since Covid. There has also been a massive decline, since Covid, in the availability of NHS help for some conditions to stop them progressing to PIP necessary levels (in my own situation, I've been waiting for ankle surgery since 2019, & if my YP had had sufficient specialist input when younger they - might - have been able to become more productive earners in society eg my Ds needs an ADHD assessment - waiting list was 5 years now just closed to all)
Covid massively interrupted education and massively reduced access to appropriate healthcare which has disproportionately affected those with disabilities. It's only a part of the situation but it is not the 'fault' of the disabled.

I had to get on a busy train last night as part of giving care to one of my YP. I use double crutches (for a long standing mobilty problem). No one moved from the disabled/easy access seats. This is not new. As I struggled through 2 short carriages to try to reach a seat, I heard both 's**z' and 'dole poles'. That's new.

I think we have enough on talking about the ethics of euthanising actual living and breathing human beings without trying to divert the conversation to the abortion debate, don't you?

But to be clear, I am pro choice. I believe wholeheartedly in the woman's right to choose.

Before birth.

My son is 25. I left it a bit late to get an abortion. So not really relevant.

This has nothing to do with whether or not my what was it? violent, filthy and unhygenic 25 year old son who has zero prospects and others like him should be allowed to live even though they are having resources lavished on preserving them for 60 years and great expense when there are so many better people who could be using that money.

Don't cheapen this discussion by trying to throw in what you wrongly assume to be the ultimate gotcha.

I have an NHS psychiatrist diagnosis of ADHD. I am not disabled or disadvantaged by it in any sense that more money would change.

But I can take online tutorials which will tell me exactly what I would need to say to get a significant PIP payment, including being unable to organise myself sufficiently to have clean clothes to wear to go to work, unable to get a bus on time to get to work, too sensitive to criticism to be able to work, which would be easy to fake and difficult to disprove.

My hairdresser used to get big sums of money for a profoundly disabled daughter. She used to tell me how annoyed she was about a neighbour permanently signed off with agoraphobia for her inability to leave the house, who worked in a local shop, and a second permanently signed off after a heart attack who spent his days doing full on building work on his house. Two just in her street.

I read in the Guardian not so long ago about a young woman who was autistic, in receipt of £4800 a year of PIP. She had therapy when younger and is now in full time high paid work and said she needed to keep the PIP to pay for her car.

There's a poster above saying she had been told to claim for a second child but that the child does not present her with enough difficulty for her to feel she needs the additional money, so she doesn't. I suspect she's a rarity.

It's cases like this that people are getting annoyed about, and the mind blowing increase in numbers since Labour came to power, not the OP. I doubt anyone with an ounce of humanity begrudge the OP a penny, I know I don't.