To think there is a definite surge in annoyance towards the disabled?

[WarySwan]

I have seen it in real life. Not just social media forums and news outlets where every other post seems to be about 'free money this for disabled' and 'free cars'.

My 2 children have autism. They get highest rate DLA. About £800 a month. We get respite care funded that costs the tax payer about £700 a month.

Just had an extension on our new build house, housing association, brand new bedroom and ensuite installed. Free of charge through the council.

Motability 7 seater car. 25 plate.

People seem to just see this and see the money. They do not see the costs that are present because of disability. The amount of time and resources it takes to keep 2 profoundly children at home.

They do not see that my children will need 24/7 care for life. 2-1 support in public. The constant cleaning and caring. Waking up at the crack of dawn, years on end. Cleaning smearing and endless washing. Endless marks on your body from a child who doesn't get that taking a chunk out of you will hurt that much and scar

Watching your eldest almost die as he can't speak a word or use a communication device. Meaning appendicitis went undetected until he was almost dying. The constant battle of keeping a cannula in his arm with hospital staff just not getting why a play therapist does not bloody cut it and he needs constant supervision that I cannot possibly do 24/7 without moving from the bedside. The weeks spend in recovery because of this.

If we do not or cannot provide this care, residential placements are about £40,000+ per month. Yes. Per month. It is eye watering in cost. That won't change anytime soon because social care is beyond shot to bits.

My children deserve the best life possible. And a dignified society should surely want to ensure this happens? Children who are not disabled and their parents have options. They have chances and doorways. Mine will never work. Never have a marriage or children, they won't even be able to cook a basic meal.

There is no overtime or upskilling for me. No situation where they fly the nest and I can focus on my career again. Unless they become some dangerous through no fault of their own that a 40k plus a month placement goes ahead as the alternative means I could die or be seriously injured, and that would mean they'd be at risk if I am literally unconscious on the floor.

They still deserve dignity and compassion. The chance of a good life. They are very happy currently. Good routines that are followed to a T. Safe at home because I have the resources to do it.

Care placement does not save money. Unfortunately. It would cost over ten times what I get in benefits.

I have seen so many mentions of people saying those on benefits should have no savings at all. Nothing. Really? You think my life isn't hard enough? You think I shouldn't be allowed a small nest of savings too?

When I finally drop down from caring, I will have next to no pension. After spending a lifetime ensuring the state doesn't have to take full responsibility for 2 adult men that will mean at least 4 paid members of staff are present at all times.

I am not just talking about MN. It is everywhere. Even 'funny' reels on Instagram targeted about how the disabled get this and that. How they should all drive a basic tiny car that has something written in bold to make sure everyone knows its a free car, as if they're really disabled, they'll use. That'll stop the chancers eh!

This is NOT about criticism towards PIP and DLA for things people deem questionable... even though they almost certainly dont have all the facts. This is about the blatant and not hidden disgust and begrudge of help to those with lifelong and profound disability

PEOPLE keep saying in black and white, no room for confusion in their words, that the disabled get too much. That it isn't fair.

I suppose this thread will get deleted. But a lot of views seem to be going unchallenged about the disabled that wouldn't be allowed if it was about something else that's suppose to be a protected characteristic. Seems to have quite a few comparisons with a certain country in Europe 80 or so years ago. When the hatred and deceit was being thrown around and brain washing people before not many years later, the public became okay with euthanasia of them.

Hell, I am sure we are already there for some. As I have seen with my own eyes, people commenting on MN and the likes of social media where their bloody name and pictures of themselves and their work can be traced, that euthanasia could be an option, ideally.

Thinking about it, getting properly covered in mud is something many disabled boys miss out on…

I'm not a media mogul hun.

Why does it hurt you in the feelings when I criticise them?

actually, mn is just going to come along and delete all the posts I repost here. so there's not much point
maybe you could accept that the many deleted posts on here said some fucking nasty shit and we aren't lying about it?

but by all means pm me your email address and i'll send you the whole vile thing

Good luck with that then
Becsuse for the umpteenth time It doesn't go off diagnosis it goes off need if you are not providing any extra care for here above that of a typical child for at least an hour a day, ( low rate) she won't be eligible regardless of whether she gets a diagnosis.

Just to echo what other posters have said, I’ve never heard anyone in real life complaining that anyone with profound disabilities like what you’ve described gets “too much”. What people have an issue with is situations where there just isn’t an actual need present but for one reason or another, people still qualify. That’s the problem.

I know about 4 cases personally (2 of these cars, 1 someone that gets disability + benefits and this person doesn’t lack money… it’s in a trust and it’s a very very healthy amount, another one perfectly capable of working and sat at home for 3 years collecting “savings”) + on a slightly different note, someone who has a social housing place and is never there. Ever. So effectively this flat is sitting empty when it could actually go to someone that needs it.

The problem isn’t the existence of welfare, it should exist, the problem is that it’s been expanded to a point there’s too many shameless takers.

This has to be one of the best comments I've read, not just on this thread but on Mumsnet in general.

Well my eldest DS is neurodiverse, doing extremely well in tech, paid shedloads of money already. He claims most of the people he works with are like him. He does worry about passing his neurodiversity on if he were to have children. He does actually have a girlfriend. She is very understanding and accommodating. He is a bit hyper focussed on not breeding with someone who is neurodiverse, hence the question. I think they do talk about these kinds of thins now, especially GenZ.

Why would multiple people lie about it?

You may not have seen it because it likely got deleted but it was absolutely there which is why multiple people are telling you it was there.

Yes on another thread I got told my dh ,should change his job so he could drive our disabled son to school in his mobility car .
Instead of school transport which hes entitled to regardless of Wether he has a mobility car or not.

She’s mentioned you in a post where someone specifically mentions unhygienic boys and why we “preserve” them.

Why don’t you go away, and read it, and then stay gone away.

Yeah we all got together to lie to you🙄🙄

@IncompleteSenten I think that poster is just trying you wind you up at this point, I wouldn’t engage any further. They are refusing to accept what many posters have said they read. It wouldn’t have been deleted by mumsnet if it wasn’t offensive

YANBU and I suspect it’s because when lifestyles plummet and cost of livings increase, people start watching their pennies - and it is hard seeing how much we pay for things that don’t affect us, when we are struggling to pay for heating.

Unfortunately the government have spend decades targeting the wrong interventions, chasing cures rather than prevention so people are finally getting fed up of paying out so much in tax and seemingly getting not much in return. Eg the cost of treating obesity through medication is ridiculous; instead there should have been much tighter controls over food production and disallowing UPF. Some of that money could instead go on subsidising childcare so one parent can work part time or stay at home to cook proper meals, provide quality care to children etc.

Whilst the cost of subsidising your family isn’t small, you’re losing out on an average salary every year (assuming you’re at home to facilitate care for your children) so I think you’re entitled to that. People forget the cost of attending appointments, adaptations, like you say, having to pass up career progessions etc.

Disabled people deserve good quality care and it’s sad that people are penny pinching with the most vulnerable group of people in society.

I hope your children are able to get a good quality of life and remain happy.

i've spent the whole bloody day grabbing each and every post because like fuck am i letting this thread be swept under the carpet, not today not ever.

So I take it that you reported these shameless takers then?

You are just setting up a different scapegoat but using the same tactics and lack of nuance to describe them. This tribalism helps no one. Or rather, only helps Reform.

@MissyMooPoo2

Here is my response to the offending comment. Why would I have mentioned boys or washing, if PP hadn’t called my son unhygienic.

Why would I have asked PP if they did mean we shouldn’t support the survival of disabled people, if I didn’t believe she was suggesting killing my son.

I'm sorry my thread has turned this way.

Glad however I have exposed the fact these people do exist. There are people who are not just after the 'fakers'. To some, it's all the disabled, especially the profoundly disabled as they don't have any value to them. They're viewed as just a drain.

I am so sorry. Not sure what the answer is or how to fight back at this bigotry. I am so exhausted just from caring

You had my empathy until you compared to Nazi Germany (Godwins Law anyone). Not cool.

When you say neurodiverse, do you mean autism/adhd? I wish people would say autism when they mean autism not neurodiverse, which no individual can be, or neurodivergent which is pretty meaningless.

You have no idea what posters do. Silly comment.