Massive increase in cost for lessons, is this normal?

[WouldRatherBeOnaBeach]

As per title, one of my children has flute lessons. Heard last night from the teacher guy that the lesson will be going up from £32 to £40 in the new year, for the same amount of time.

Daughter loves the lessons, but our money is very tight. Husband gives me £85 for the week and I have to find this lesson money out of it as well as feed a household of 5.

I dont understand if things are going up by 3% (or whatever it is ), how are some things going up by SO much. Hubby says I should just pay it as the teacher might not have increased his rates for years, but we’ve only been doing the lessons since the summer and the percentage increase feels huge.

(The teacher is a guy my husband used to work with, not sure if this could be why he just wants me to shut up and pay, to save his embarrassment?!)

I already find it such a juggle to make sure everything is covered on such a low income, I am feeling sad that I now have this additional stress.

Is it me? Am I being unreasonable??

Music lessons have become more expensive for those in State Education because of VAT.

Teachers make more money via private schools & now offer at least 20% discount there so adding vat doesn’t change the price. So many are charging more to those in state education (or reducing services) to try and make up costs — for example, hiking fees, charging more for instrument hire, not including books or 1 exam attempt as standard any more. If you don’t like it then they’ll find someone else quickly enough as there’s a massive shortage of qualified instrument teachers.

The same thing has happened to a lot of other enrichment activities. The government was warned about this when they implemented the vat charge for private education.

£2000 income, plus a little extra from your 1bed, no mortgage and only £350 a month spending money?

Wheres it all going OP? Your bills are over £1500/mo without mortgage or rent?

Many of these old vicarages have been sold off though as they're unreasonably luxurious and too big and old like you say. Lots of 4 or 5 bed new build vicarages round my way.
And agree that vicars don't typically pay council tax and in my diocese also don't pay water rates, buildings insurance or broadband. They get a proportion of their electric/heating bill paid too. It varies across dioceses but I'd be surprised if any diocese charges for ALL normal household bills.

Where on earth are you? Perhaps I should ask him to move (again!) we pay everything except to rent the property….but it’s so lacking in insulation and decent windows that we pay 500-550 a month for gas and electricity, so effectively we do pay rent, but to the energy company 😂

why would a vicar have their broadband paid? Or their electricity/ other bills?? I don’t understand!

So you pay £550 for heating, where is the rest of the money going

Some local councils do free group music lessons, ours does

Just to explain, the flat covers its own costs, there is no extra….the rent is around normal for the area..

From my husbands earnings, we have to pay all bills at the house we are in (energy is very high as the houses are neglected), also we pay tax on the income from the flat, plus insurances on both houses, (vicars don’t get insurance paid on the vicarage, no), so where we live plus the landlords insurance.
Then we also pay insurances and associated car related costs. Plus we are still paying back a debt that was run up while my husband did his training.
it’s not that my husband is keeping money from me, only that his wage is low.

A few thoughts:

1. How long are her lessons? If you also have a newborn, I'm guessing she's not that old, and a 20/30 minute lesson would be appropriate. If she's having longer, ask about shorter.
2. Musicians Union recommends £44/hour, as a comparison. If a teacher hasn't put up their rates for a while, so it ends up being a big jump, they sometimes phase it in, charging the new rate for new pupils, and increasing it more gradually for existing pupils. It would be very reasonable to explain to the teacher that you don't think you can afford that big an increase. He may be willing to cut the lesson length or frequency, or to keep the price a bit lower for his friend's child.
3. Apply to the Rustat Trust (https://www.jesus.cam.ac.uk/chapel-and-choir/about-chapel/clergy-family-grants). It's worth checking out what else is available for clergy families - another one is at www.clergysupport.org.uk. I'm from a clergy family, and both those two charities were very supportive.

OP your whole post makes no sense.
I appreciate you are a 1 income household of £1997 but with no rent or mortgage I cannot see how you are left with £85 per week after bills, nor how you are feeding (even a vegetarian) family of 5 on £50ish a week.

Even with your gas/electric bill at £550 a month- where is there other £1400 going?!

I also categorically cannot believe you are feeding a full, balanced diet to 5 people for £50 unless you are topping up with food banks etc. We are a family of 4 and I spend £8.25 on milk per week (20 pints per week)- that's almost 1/5th of your budget on milk ALONE.

Something isnt adding up here.

How old are all your kids?
Why can’t you get a job and use childminders and after school care like everyone else with kids? Plenty of people have spouses who are on call, but it doesn’t matter as the kids are in school and childcare during their working hours.

Get a job?

I can believe the food cost thing. When money is tight for me, I cook veggie for a week or two and with me and two kids, I can feed us well for about £30.

Raising the cost of lessons by 25% is unreasonable. Is it an hour? I pay £24 for my daughter's half hour singing lessons.

It's also very obvious that your husband cannot afford to support 3 children and a wife on his current salary, and if his role means that you are not able to work, he needs to get another job, either one that enables you to work or that pays more.

I wouldn’t pay building insurance on the vicarage, as you don’t own it. Obviously contents insurance, but I wouldn’t pay that on the flat as I assume you don’t have contents in it. So you should still be only paying one houses worth of insurance, just maybe one of each type for each property

It all sounds really tough and I guess you are all paying the price for your husbands vocation, you mentioned he had a higher paying job before was it within the church? It seems unfair that a vicar with a family is paid the same as one with no dependants as his ‘job’ makes it really tough for their other partners to work.
I would try and share the flute lesson with another parent, group sessions are cheaper. It does seem a pretty big hike in price, did they why?
It’s all very well for your husband to say to pay it but your budget is quite small to begin with, and any left over should be saved as children get more expensive as they get older.
Totally agree that it makes no sense to get rid of the flat which you may need in the future. I admire you all, him for his calling to work in that role and you for being supportive, I’m afraid in your shoes I’d be pretty miserable and very resentful!

It is usual for vicars living in the vicarage to get their council tax, broadband and water rates paid though.
Building insurance is paid for by the church.
Also you can get tax relief on utility bills and broadband for working from home in the vicarage.
Is your husband doing that as it will help.

His diocese will have a fund for those struggling, he needs to ask.

The Clergy Suppport Trust offer fibancial support to clergy. You have to approach them but this is what they are there for.

You shouldn't be paying council tax or water rates. Heating is costly in vicarages, sadly. Again, CST may help - or ask the diocese what they plan to do to make your home more energy efficient.

He sets his hours. No clergy are on call 24/7, most clergy have a spouse who works. And many have kids too.

Another one for reducing lesson to once per fortnight.
Better than none at all

Charge the friend rent for your flat. ( if you haven’t already done so) Crazy not to because it’s at your family’s detriment

I do know a vicar who lives in the vicarage. The house was in disrepair when they moved in and they had to spend money to get it in good order. There is no help from the diocese for maintenance. They also cover 3 or 4 churches and are very busy. There is a shortage of vicars, especially in the area we live in. I would be honest with the teacher and just tell him the situation you're in and say you cannot afford the increase and you're very sorry but would have to look elsewhere to see if there is anyone else available who could provide the lessons cheaper.

Although I know you have a baby, I have several female vicar friends who don't have a house husband, and they rely on their husband being home to go out at short notice to a dying parishioner, and/or schedule things around childcare. Our own vicar plans her sermons while waiting for her son to finish sports practice.

Your DH really does not need a vicar's wife and if he thinks he does, he needs to drag himself into the late 20th century. In a lot of parishes, the vicar will be the BEST paid person but you seem to have resigned yourselves to being the worst paid. You don't need to be.

On the issue of the music lessons, this does seem like a large increase. Do you get pupil premium? My DD (who is adopted) gets free music lessons as she gets PP+.

As a fellow ministry spouse, I feel inclined to comment on your post.

Regarding the music lessons, if it's a church member who is offering the lessons, could you ask for a ministry family discount? At every church we've ever been at, even as lay members before entering paid ministry, services like music lessons, babysitting etc. were offered either for free, or heavily discounted to the Pastor's family. Ministry doesn't pay well at all, so there is an understanding from church members that this compensates for the lack of salary. At our previous church, the members all chipped in to pay for the Pastors' kids swimming lessons.

You have a newborn so it's understandable that you're not working at the moment, however, all of my ministry spouse friends have to work outside the home, even in a part-time capacity. There is just no way to make it work on one ministry salary, unless it's a megachurch and both spouses are employed as joint Pastors. Long-term, I would look for a flexible job like teaching, that would allow you to go part-time, and move as is required for your husband's ministry.

I'm not in the UK, but in my experience, many religious schools over free tuition and other benefits to ministry families, as long as they are ordained within the church. Are you eligible for any of those?

Just to defend the 25% increase in costs..

Private tutors should in theory increase their lessons roughly in line with the cost of living/inflation. So 3% this year, X% last year etc.

But that isn't practical for customers and businesses that like to work on round whole numbers. So what you tend to see is no price increase for a few years, and then suddenly a big increase to make up for it.

That is what happened when I was younger, and it is also what I did when I ran a private education business pre-covid.

For the tutor this likely isn't a yearly jump of 25%, but rather a back-dated jump compared to 2-3-4 (or more) years ago when they last adjusted their prices.

Vicar's wife here:

1. Do make sure you're getting all the tax relief on your utilities etc (it's included in the 'HLC': Heating, Lighting and Cleaning allowance on your MInister of Religion tax form).
2. Have you thought about working from home options? I have several friends who've done various online work to supplement income.
3. Clergy Support Trust help clergy who are struggling financially - you might find them able to help you https://www.clergysupport.org.uk/ - they help with cars/holidays/other stuff
4. Make sure your husband claims all travel (and other) expenses from the PCC.
5. Our kids enjoyed a local authority schools orchestra, which was free/very cheap. See if you have one locally and that might supplement less frequent individual lessons.
6. Keep going. It's a strange but wonderful life with many privileges alongside the struggles.

OP what is the length of your daughter's flute lesson? Is it 30.minutes?
If so, 40 pounds is expensive.

If it's 45 then it's normal.

The musician's union rate is around 42-45 an hour I believe and that includes cheap parts of the country.

Does the teacher have a conservatoire education specifically in flute? If so 40 pounds per 30 min is justified.

If you're paying 40 pounds for 30 min with a teacher for whom flute is a second instrument and who doesn’t hold a prestigious music degree or diploma, that is too much even for London.

My guitar tutor charged £20 an hour for years. A copule of years ago he put it up to £24 and a couple of months back it went up to £30. I think that perfectly reasonable.

He's taking the financiasl circumstances of some in to account. those he knows will struggle to afford it are still on the old rate.

I think £30 or £40 for someone's time to teach a skill they honed over many years is not overpriced.

If you don't pay for housing I don't understand how 1997 a months leaves you with just £85 per week for food and kids. I can't believe your husband is "giving you every penny after bills". How can bills (excluding rent) be that much?